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Original poster

OH has awful table manners and it’s making me question our whole relationship

191 replies

JosephineCornwall · 14/05/2024 13:38

My bf of just over 3 months has shocking table manners….lip smacking, eating with mouth open, licking his knife, licking fingers (this is the worse one as it’s often and noisily and doesn’t use a napkin), licks the plate at the end of his meal…..you get my drift. In most other aspects I think we have the foundations for a LTR, however when I see him eating I want to dump him!! 😱 I have hinted at him that it’s not the done thing but am I being unreasonable to give him an ultimatum?

OP posts:
HelpMeUnpickThis · 14/05/2024 14:49

Everything you dont like about him now will be even worse as he ages. Just saying.

Nottherealslimshady · 14/05/2024 14:47

My DPs parents used to make him eat his dinner off the floor if he wasn't going to have human table manners he could eat on the floor like an animal.... (with a plate, making it marginally less abusive imo)

OriginalUsername2 · 14/05/2024 14:45

If he’s that bad, imagine having dinner with his whole family 😂

GogAndMagog · 14/05/2024 14:43

Is he good at licking other things that make you look past it?

Show him the scene from Spirited Away where the parents find all the food and what happens to them .... say he looks and sounds the same when eating!

Jaffajiffy · 14/05/2024 14:43

My DH naturally eats like a pig and doesn’t pause for breath and puts half a bottle of ketchup on his plate. Growing up his parents never made him eat healthy food. It was a huge deal for me especially coming from a family that didn’t have very much. I married him, but not before I had a really big discussion about how I would need him to change his behaviour before having kids as I would not want his poor example for them. He had to start eating healthily and with his mouth closed. It’s still sometimes embarrassing when we are out for dinner and he hasn’t looked up but we mitigate it by having him eat a bit before we go so he’s not too hungry.
Had he not agreed to rein it in it would have been curtains.

AgreeableDragon · 14/05/2024 14:42

@JosephineCornwall I don't want to jump to unfair assumptions, but I was thinking if his table manners are this bad, what's his take on personal hygiene? I feel like this won't be an isolated problem.
But you sound like you're on to it!

CustardySergeant · 14/05/2024 14:41

Good grief. I would have ended the relationship the first time he behaved like that! 😡There's no excuse for it.

Dunkinn · 14/05/2024 14:40

I think that if he's able to rein it in when he wants to then that's kind of even worse.

I could sympathise with someone who maybe came from a difficult background and literally didn't know what good table manners were (and was willing to be taught).

But somebody who knows it's rude but does it in front of you anyway? Euurgh.

Original poster
JosephineCornwall · 14/05/2024 14:37

JosephineCornwall · 14/05/2024 13:38

My bf of just over 3 months has shocking table manners….lip smacking, eating with mouth open, licking his knife, licking fingers (this is the worse one as it’s often and noisily and doesn’t use a napkin), licks the plate at the end of his meal…..you get my drift. In most other aspects I think we have the foundations for a LTR, however when I see him eating I want to dump him!! 😱 I have hinted at him that it’s not the done thing but am I being unreasonable to give him an ultimatum?

Thank you every one of you so far for your comments and suggestions and I agree wholeheartedly with you all 🙏
His table manners have worsened since our first few dates, so he can rein it in, so yes, it shows a lack of respect for me that he thinks it’s acceptable to eat like a pig 🐷 in my company (at home and eating out).
I love the suggestion that I switch up the dog bowls with his plate 🐾
I will give him an ultimatum and if he doesn’t change fucking fast, he’s fucking done.

OP posts:
TheNoodlesIncident · 14/05/2024 14:35

My colleague dumped a boyfriend just because he licked his knife at the table.

With ALL that blatant disregard for conventional table manners, I'm amazed you're still with him to debate it tbh. I'd be sitting like Shock (which is probably poor manners too, but hey)

JimBobsWife · 14/05/2024 14:27

Jesus, that's awful. A shame if in all other regards he's a possible keeper. But no, I couldn't get past that, I'm afraid.

AStrawberryTart · 14/05/2024 14:27

There are absolutely no foundations for LTR with table manners like that. My vagina would have clamped shut witnessing him eat with his mouth open and lick a knife. It wouldn’t have gone further than one meal tbh.

TomeTome · 14/05/2024 14:27

Can you not just say you don’t like him licking his plate?

unsync · 14/05/2024 14:22

How have you lasted that long? Poor table manners are such a turn off. I managed to endure years of my ex shovelling yogurt and ramming in crisps without stopping for breath, but it revolted me. I think it can be indicative of sloppiness in other areas too.

grumpygrape · 14/05/2024 14:21

Put his plate on the floor and the dogs' bowls on the table ? If he asks why, explain they have better table manners. 🙂

WimseyofBalliol · 14/05/2024 14:18

He sounds like an utter pig.

AgreeableDragon · 14/05/2024 14:18

I could not cope with this at all!! And I don't think a conversation will sort it, but if you like him otherwise then give it a go.

BobbyBiscuits · 14/05/2024 14:14

Does he eat that way in public, with company?
I can see some people lapsing their manners if they very comfortable with someone, but eating with mouth open and stuff is gross.
I did date someone who ate like an absolute pig and it fitted around the rest of his character tbh. It shows lack of basic concern for others. And extreme arrested development.

skyeisthelimit · 14/05/2024 14:12

If he has been brought up like that he is unlikely to change now, depending on how old he is.

If he was embarrassed by it he would want to do something about it.

Just end the relationship.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 14/05/2024 14:12

No way would I go out with a man who had such appalling manners. If he is like this with just eating, what other awful habits does he have!

ClaudiaWinklepanda · 14/05/2024 14:11

Table manners can be subjective, but for me the plate licking and the mouth open would be too much.

DottieMoon · 14/05/2024 14:11

I couldn't deal with that at all!

If this is what he's like now at the early stages then what will he be like when he's more 'comfortable'!

Cathbrownlow · 14/05/2024 14:10

It's amazing that he's got this far in life without sorting out his revolting manners. I agree with others - whatever you say or do, I don't think he will change now. Disgusting.

JJathome · 14/05/2024 14:10

That would give me the ick. Christ I’d have to move away from him in a cafe if I saw him. I abhor bad table manners, never mind that long list you’ve detailed. I’d be out. Game over first time I saw it.

TheFlis · 14/05/2024 14:10

That’s made me feel queasy just thinking about it! My 4 year old niece has much better table manners than him. He must realise others don’t behave that way and it’s rude but he doesn’t care. Throw this one back.

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