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Original poster

OH has awful table manners and it’s making me question our whole relationship

191 replies

JosephineCornwall · 14/05/2024 13:38

My bf of just over 3 months has shocking table manners….lip smacking, eating with mouth open, licking his knife, licking fingers (this is the worse one as it’s often and noisily and doesn’t use a napkin), licks the plate at the end of his meal…..you get my drift. In most other aspects I think we have the foundations for a LTR, however when I see him eating I want to dump him!! 😱 I have hinted at him that it’s not the done thing but am I being unreasonable to give him an ultimatum?

OP posts:
CustardySergeant · 15/05/2024 14:02

Scrumbleton · 15/05/2024 00:30

Oh God - gives me the ick. My friends husband eats with elbows flying and u find that kind of icky never mind what you are talking about - how old is your BF?

I'm trying - and failing - to imagine what eating with elbows flying looks like. It sounds really bizarre. 😕

JanglingJack · 15/05/2024 13:14

Licking a knife and licking the plate?! Fucking animal!

I've only ever seen this once when my stepdad came home battered when I was 7. I knew straight away it wasn't the proper him (!) and couldn't understand why Mum didn't call the police.
He had clearly been invaded by aliens.
Obviously the aliens returned him in his true state.

I can't imagine why you didn't just walk out at the time. Disgusting manners. It tells you all you need to know about him.

Manners mak'eth the Man.

Sometimes.

betterangels · 15/05/2024 13:06

Sunnytwobridges · 15/05/2024 02:36

Gave me the ick just reading this. I would dump cause as time goes on I would start to feel contempt for him

Definitely agree with this.

betterangels · 15/05/2024 13:05

He's worse than some children! I would hate eating with him anywhere. And I would find it all a complete turn-off. Just no.

PollyPut · 15/05/2024 13:02

@JosephineCornwall that's terrible.

The real question is how are his other manners? If there are other terrible habits then it's pointless trying to fix just this one. But if it's just that then it's worth a try

IBegYourBiggestPardon · 15/05/2024 12:49

Teq · 14/05/2024 18:56

I was at a hotel recently and the man of the couple sitting near me at breakfast had the worst table manners. Very much like you describe and also burping audibly without even trying to cover his mouth.

I felt so embarrassed for his girlfriend. I’m guessing his poor manners and lack of respect don’t stop at the dining table.

Oh dear. I think you might have just met my exh

Heyhoitsme · 15/05/2024 07:58

Rather than dump him why not tell him what the issue is. If he is willing to change he's worth the effort of showing him good manners.

Sunnytwobridges · 15/05/2024 02:36

Gave me the ick just reading this. I would dump cause as time goes on I would start to feel contempt for him

Thevelvelletes · 15/05/2024 02:22

Mouth open..nope that made me queasy just reading that.
He'd have to go.

Gymnopedie · 15/05/2024 02:09

We were once in Sainsburys cafe for lunch, and the two young men (mid 20s) at the next table had already got their food. When they'd finished they were talking and one of them was bemoaning the fact that no woman he asked out ever went on more than two dates with him. I'd seen him eating and I so wanted to lean over and tell him that I knew why he never got more than two dates.

rainbowbee · 15/05/2024 02:06

Three months only? Just get rid. He hasn't been taught, hasn't picked it up organically and you're not his mum.

buffyslayer · 15/05/2024 01:16

No to licking a plate. I mean WTF
I have been known to drink the cereal milk out the bowl but I do live alone and wouldn't do it in public!

Nanny0gg · 15/05/2024 00:56

Heyhoitsme · 14/05/2024 18:59

I once told a girl at school not to eat with her mouth open. She was hurt and I felt terrible for saying anything. On the other hand she might have stopped doing it!

I worked with someone who ALWAYS started talking the minute she put food in her mouth.
It was revolting
And she ALWAYS seemed to sit opposite
Envy

Nanny0gg · 15/05/2024 00:54

ThatLibraryDebate · 14/05/2024 18:54

"food isn't designed to balance on a knife"

eh?!

Food isn't generally designed to balance on a fork either! 😂

I reckon I could eat plenty of foods with a table knife if I had to. Mashed potato wound be my first go-to, followed by a really thick stew.

Yep. I read that back and thought - what??

I meant that knives aren't designed to eat from - wrong shape!
Blush

Scrumbleton · 15/05/2024 00:30

Oh God - gives me the ick. My friends husband eats with elbows flying and u find that kind of icky never mind what you are talking about - how old is your BF?

CutthroatDruTheViolent · 14/05/2024 23:47

@JosephineCornwall

When I first met my husband, I was really not looking for a relationship at all, but he was keen so I gave him a chance.

He chewed with his mouth open. There's lots of stuff I can excuse, that is not one of them.

I was brutally honest. I told him this would go nowhere if he didn't learn to chew with his mouth closed, might be petty, but it's a deal breaker for me.

Pleased to say he took it well and 20 years later we're still together! So be honest, I say.

Greenme · 14/05/2024 21:54

I met a date once in a restaurant and he ate most of his soup with a spoon and then picked the bowl up and tipped it up to his mouth and started slurping the remaining soup.

I was mortified and people at the next tables were staring. That was the end of him.

HcbSS · 14/05/2024 21:41

JosephineCornwall · 14/05/2024 13:51

🤣🤣 The thing is my two Labradors have better manners around food!

Show quote history

Dump immediately and stick with doggo. I cannot bear humans with poor table manners. There is no excuse.

MotherofPearl · 14/05/2024 20:49

I am tempted to show your post to my DC, OP. I'm constantly drilling them in table manners, and they sometimes tell me I'm being ridiculous imposing these rules, but I try to explain what the consequences can be in later life of poor table manners. It really does matter.

Claricestarling1 · 14/05/2024 20:28

How has he managed to go through life eating like this? 😲

Yellowpingu · 14/05/2024 20:22

After only three months I’d be assuming he’s still on his best behaviour and that it will only get worse. Even though I’m struggling to see how it could possibly get worse!

whynotwhatknot · 14/05/2024 20:21

is that inpublic? my dh will lick his plate at home but not when we're wit other people

StormingNorman · 14/05/2024 20:20

You’ll never get past this.

It will only piss you off more and more over the years and you’ll have to deal with it at least once a day every day for the rest of your life. plus the embarrassment of eating in public with him.

Easy for me to say LTB because he wouldn’t have got a second date.

Can you learn to live with it??

TikehauLilly · 14/05/2024 20:18

My DH (when he was a BF) got a fish supper, proceeded to open it and eat it from the paper with his fingers in the living room

I am the kind of person to eat a burger /fajitas with a kife and fork so I couldn't abide that and he was told!

We don't have many carry outs now.... but if a fish supper was involved he knows cutlery and plates are needed

So you need to tell him or suck it up and live with it

WhereYouLeftIt · 14/05/2024 20:14

The first time a boyfriend of less than three months standing picked up his plate and licked it I would have been "What the fuck?".

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