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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to not see an issue/not consider it blackmail

129 replies

ARichtGoodDram · 14/05/2024 11:23

I’ve been contacted by the parent of my DD’s friend (they’re both 11) ranting about my DD “blackmailing” their DD.

Their DD wants to go somewhere. My DD doesn’t fancy it, but has said she’ll go if her friend then goes with her to an event she wants to go to.

Both events are similar length of time and cost.

To me this is an entirely fair swap. However, the other parent is raging because DD can easily (in their opinion) ask another friend or one of her siblings to go with her whereas her friend can only ask her.

When I said I don’t see the issue in them both attending something they don’t massively fancy as a swap thing I’ve had a ranting message back and been blocked. This parent is normally very level headed so I’m just checking I’m not missing something

OP posts:
IbisDancer · 14/05/2024 11:32

you are right OP, it’s not blackmail but tit for tat, as in a compromise.

blackmail would be

  • you come to my event or I will tell on you/bully you
emotional blackmail would be
  • you come to my event or I won’t be friends anymore
Original poster
ARichtGoodDram · 14/05/2024 11:30

I just said to the parent that I don’t see the issue. Dd doesn’t want to go to X but wants to go to Y. Her friend is the opposite so having originally said no thanks to going to X, DD then followed up with “hey. why don’t I come to X with you and you come to Y with me???”

The friend said she really didn’t want to go to Y so DD said ok and thought that was the end of it. No forcing or pushing at all.

The parent has exploded.

OP posts:
Haydenn · 14/05/2024 11:29

Just get your DD to go to the event she wants to go to with someone else. Leave this lunatic to calm down.

Cas112 · 14/05/2024 11:26

Have you advised that her DD could have said no, I dont think it sounds like your DD is forcing her to the event? Just a reasonable compromise which the other DD doesn't have to accept.

I guess it all matters on the tone in which your daughter suggested this. I dont think its really a massive issue/suggestion as long as your daughter wasn't forceful with it

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