to ask for a shopping spree for my birthday?

Are you serious?? “£500 isn’t a lot of money”!! I don’t know what planet you’re on but I think £500 is a great deal of money. If that isn’t how you see it, I feel a little sad for you. You must be quite hard to please and I thank my lucky stars I don’t have to buy for you!
I have no issue with you asking for money for your birthday. Lots of people do that, including me. The issue I have is that you had the cheek to specify an amount, a large amount at that. In fact, specifying an amount at all is not on in my book and asking for £500 is very greedy in my opinion.
If people want to give you a present, it should be up to them how much they spend!

Was DH happy?
are YOU happy?

if so, your friend’s opinion isn’t relevant so don’t make it relevant.

She’s probably secretly jealous.
Sounds like a great day out to me and I’ve not been shopping in years!

Everyone's budgets are different though
I've never spent 500 on DH but if my teens have had a new phone for Xmas then it probably would be close to that (on a credit card) Its not a regular thing for us, but I can imagine people on higher incomes might spend that much normally.

I give myself a shopping spree every birthday and Christmas! We have set budgets for gift giving and I save that for specifics that I need but don't particularly enjoy sgopping for, like a phone, or wouldn't ordinary splash out on, like a fancy shower gel. Hope you have fun op!

I don't think there is anything with wrong with asking for money so you can go shopping and buy what you actually want. I personally wouldn't disclose the amount I am receiving to others. If you did to your friend, maybe it's the fact it's £500 she's shocked/jealous about? I understand he earned it and I'm happy for you to be in that position, but I personally don't know anyone who would receive a present of that value for their birthday so maybe she is the same. She definitely handled it badly though and should not have called you a cheeky cow!

Your friend is suggesting you pay for your own b day gift instead of your husband. That doesn't make sense, I think your fine.

I prefer nights away, good memories

£500 is a ridiculous amount of money to ask someone to spend on a birthday present. As is £350 for a child!!

I think it was a tad cheeky to specify the amount but no it sounds sensible.

My husband does this every year and I go to John Lewis for a personal shopper experience super fun and don't end up with things that don't fit properly or suit me

It depends on your friends circumstances surely? She'll only be looking at it from her own perspective. If she's minted then I would probably lean towards your way of thinking like.

Personally I'd find a shopping spree stressful. Husband has to drag me kicking and screaming for clothes as it is. As long as your happy and husband's happy then it's nobody else's business.

Probably wouldn't mention it to your more skint mates like.

angelcake20
We’re quite comfortably off but I’m shocked that anyone thinks a £500 birthday present is normal unless it’s something that is explicitly needed, eg phones and laptops.
But they came into some money and instead of using it for a bill or because a phone finally went or a laptop broke, when you’re cursing having to spend that amount, how lovely will it be to just go buy all the things you’ve been thinking of?

Huge difference between taking money out and spending it and someone giving you the money and off you go-enjoy op!!!!

edited to add: the money we all spend on bills without thinking- fab to just go mad with equivalent for something you really want!

I think going shopping together to get something you want is great, but an expectation of £500 seems a bit steep personally. We usually spend about £100 on each other for birthdays but it's down to the person too, regardless of this lump sum he has just had, he should be the one to decide how much he will give

Your friend is very clearly incredibly bitter and jealous. Your only mistake was telling her!

I agree with your friend! My husband is well off but no way would I ever even suggest this...it sounds grabby.

If you can afford it then why not. My oh has paid for a holiday which is over 3k for my birthday 😅. It's no one else's business !

It's a great idea and none of your friends business !
We often give each other money for Birthdays/Christmas unless there's something we particularly want. What's the point in wracking your brain to think of something for the sake of it !
It's not something you can afford to do all the time so enjoy the treat, and maybe a nice lunch with a glass of fizz if that's your thing.
Have a fab Birthday !

Only you know your own finances and marriage dynamic. how the joint account works etc
i would personally prefer to spend my own money not my husbands.

Sounds like your friend is jealous! For my birthday last year and this year my partner took me shopping! As a couple you know your finances and what is and isn’t affordable, I’m sure he would have said if he thought it was too much however he probably knows it’s not and is happy to treat you!

You don’t need to justify yourself to people on here. Enjoy the birthday treat regardless of what other peoples opinions are.

Kind of a cheeky remark from your friend, but I don't think I'd have been so specific in what I told her.

We’re quite comfortably off but I’m shocked that anyone thinks a £500 birthday present is normal unless it’s something that is explicitly needed, eg phones and laptops.

You are married, it is (or should be) joint money. Doesn’t matter if he earned it or you did. I assume your friend keeps totally separate finances?