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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask neighbour not to smoke in his own garden?

187 replies

fope · 14/05/2024 09:24

We live in a flat in converted townhouse. We are on the second floor. Neighbour is in the garden flat (not shared garden). Our bedroom is at the back of the house.

As it’s getting hotter, we need to have our bedroom window open all night.

Garden flat neighbour is a heavy smoker. He stands in the french doors of his flat and smokes “out” into the garden (if that makes sense).

The problem is, that the smoke rises up and it makes our bedroom stink. Three mornings in a row we have woken up to a bedroom smelling of cigarette smoke.

AIBU to ask him not to smoke in his garden? Or at least go somewhere else where it won’t rise up into other people’s homes. Other people in our building have also commented on this.

OP posts:
NeedToChangeName · 14/05/2024 12:11

SacreBleugh · 14/05/2024 10:00

"Dear downstairs neighbour, I appreciate that you are well within your rights to do as you wish in your own garden, but I just wanted to let you know that your cigarette smoke drifts up into our bedroom. Would it be possible for you to smoke further out in your garden?
Many thanks
Grateful upstairs neighbour".

If he ignores you. I'm afraid you'll have to put up with it.

This is polite and friendly

Worth a try

But, if he refuses, there's nothing more you can do

I sympathise. I'd hate it too

TinaYouFatLard · 14/05/2024 12:05

Could you get a fan and point it towards the open window to blow the smoke away?

TinyYellow · 14/05/2024 12:05

Your neighbour is doing nothing wrong by smoking in his own garden.

You would be doing something wrong if you tried to dictate how someone does something completely legal in their own home.

You live in a flat, it is normal to expect to have to put up with other peoples habits when you share a building.

BoobyDazzler · 14/05/2024 12:04

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

Oh give over.

ILikeReadySaltedCrisps · 14/05/2024 12:03

I despise smoking but unfortunately he's within his rights to smoke in his garden. Are you on friendly terms with him? If so, maybe you could ask him to smoke elsewhere as it bothers you, but he doesn't have to agree to this.

ForAPicnic · 14/05/2024 12:03

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ForAPicnic · 14/05/2024 12:02

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Comedycook · 14/05/2024 12:01

MalbecandToast · 14/05/2024 09:29

I get that its gross and I would hate it too, but you really can't dictate what people can/can't do in their garden.

This

BoobyDazzler · 14/05/2024 12:00

You could ask him, if he’s a decent person he’ll move down the garden a bit - it’s hardly a hardship!

Aquamarine1029 · 14/05/2024 11:52

It's like me asking my neighbours to stop cooking their incredibly pungent food in their kitchen with their back doors open

It's actually nothing like this at all.

too much pearl clutching over smoking.

It's not 1950 anymore.

Growlybear83 · 14/05/2024 10:11

There's nothing to stop you from asking your neighbour to move to a different part of the garden but I can't imagine he would agree. It's like me asking my neighbours to stop cooking their incredibly pungent food in their kitchen with their back doors open - I can imagine what their response would be. I do think smokers must find it quite difficult nowadays and to have someone complaining about smoking in their own garden is going a bit far in my opinion.

mactire · 14/05/2024 10:11

If he says no and you can’t cope with it, get a fan instead of opening the window. I hate the smell of smoke too and I don’t think you’d be unreasonable to ask but I also don’t think he’s unreasonable to refuse

rainbowbear10 · 14/05/2024 10:08

Even worse when they are smoking dope we can smell our neighbour across the back smoking it outdoors..Apart from a polite request asking them to.smoke further up the garden don't know what you can do unless someone has asthma in the house and contact environmental at the council.cant be expected to keep your windows closed in the.good weather.

CountingCrones · 14/05/2024 10:06

SplitFountainPen · 14/05/2024 10:04

Don't you think smoking where its blowing into people's windows is being a CF? It's not like its just a waft of a normal smell, cigarette smoke lingers around after and is probably one of the most unpleasant smells you could get.
I'm sure smokers wouldn't like people wafting manure under their windows 😂

Show quote history

He can’t control wind direction 😂

Also, smokers rarely see a problem with cigarette smoke; they honestly don’t get how much us revolts non smokers, nor how it lingers.

ComtesseDeSpair · 14/05/2024 10:05

Plenty of people are perfectly reasonable is asked: our neighbours always go to the end of their garden to smoke. But ultimately, annoying things like smoking, cooking smells, children playing, barbecues, lawn mowers etc are all just part and parcel of living in close proximity to other peop.

SplitFountainPen · 14/05/2024 10:04

MsLuxLisbon · 14/05/2024 09:58

YABU. He is entitled to smoke on his own property. I disagree with those who say that it doesn't hurt to ask. If you asked, you'd be a CF imo.

Don't you think smoking where its blowing into people's windows is being a CF? It's not like its just a waft of a normal smell, cigarette smoke lingers around after and is probably one of the most unpleasant smells you could get.
I'm sure smokers wouldn't like people wafting manure under their windows 😂

PenelopeTitsdrop1990 · 14/05/2024 10:03

You can only ask as he may not be aware that the smoke goes into your bedroom,but he'd be perfectly within his rights to say no.

treesaregreat · 14/05/2024 10:03

you could try and ask nicely for him to move away from the windows and hope he's reasonable, but that's all you can do.

MrsSkylerWhite · 14/05/2024 10:01

Yellowhammer09 · Today 09:49
I don't think you'd be unreasonable to ask if he can smoke at the other end of the garden. Any normal person would understand. Yes, it's a private garden but it affects his neighbours”

Yes, this. It’s probably not occurred to him.

ns87 · 14/05/2024 10:01

He won't change, but I totally sympathise.

SacreBleugh · 14/05/2024 10:00

"Dear downstairs neighbour, I appreciate that you are well within your rights to do as you wish in your own garden, but I just wanted to let you know that your cigarette smoke drifts up into our bedroom. Would it be possible for you to smoke further out in your garden?
Many thanks
Grateful upstairs neighbour".

If he ignores you. I'm afraid you'll have to put up with it.

HooleyB · 14/05/2024 09:59

Pop in one of those window fans pointing out so it blows the smoke away from your house.

MsLuxLisbon · 14/05/2024 09:58

YABU. He is entitled to smoke on his own property. I disagree with those who say that it doesn't hurt to ask. If you asked, you'd be a CF imo.

Loubelle70 · 14/05/2024 09:56

Ask him. But its in his own space...i don't care if people smoke or not..its their life..too much pearl clutching over smoking. I would ask if its possible for him to smoke whereas it doesnt gravitate up to your window. He probably won't if hes on a balcony.

GoFaster83 · 14/05/2024 09:52

I had this with our neighbours in our shared garden. They stood at the garden door and the smoke seemed to be dragged up the walls of the building. I spoke to them politely and they had no idea. They smoke further down the garden now and it's very rarely an issue. Depending on your neighbour, it may just be an oversight and they don't realise. You can but ask?