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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask neighbour not to smoke in his own garden?

187 replies

fope · 14/05/2024 09:24

We live in a flat in converted townhouse. We are on the second floor. Neighbour is in the garden flat (not shared garden). Our bedroom is at the back of the house.

As it’s getting hotter, we need to have our bedroom window open all night.

Garden flat neighbour is a heavy smoker. He stands in the french doors of his flat and smokes “out” into the garden (if that makes sense).

The problem is, that the smoke rises up and it makes our bedroom stink. Three mornings in a row we have woken up to a bedroom smelling of cigarette smoke.

AIBU to ask him not to smoke in his garden? Or at least go somewhere else where it won’t rise up into other people’s homes. Other people in our building have also commented on this.

OP posts:
FangsForTheMemory · 14/05/2024 15:47

MsLuxLisbon · 14/05/2024 09:58

YABU. He is entitled to smoke on his own property. I disagree with those who say that it doesn't hurt to ask. If you asked, you'd be a CF imo.

Do you smoke, by any chance?

OP I would ask him if it’s possible for him to walk down the garden a bit.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 14/05/2024 15:38

I'd ask him if he would kilns moving down the garden a bit.

MargoLivebetter · 14/05/2024 15:34

You can definitely ask and he can definitely say no! You'd both be within your rights to do both those things and neither of you would be being unreasonable. It's got to be worth a shot.

GingerPirate · 14/05/2024 15:34

We are all human beings, some of us grumpy....
Me.
I would like not to have screaming children in the next door garden, however, I wouldn't ask.
I think this is similar.
As my late father said, it doesn't work with people and it doesn't work without them.
😁

EmpressSoleil · 14/05/2024 15:30

Myself and my next door neighbour live in converted houses, 1st floor upwards. As such, we share a fire escape at the back, leading down to our separate gardens.

It would be handy for me to smoke on the fire escape by my back door, but I don't do it because the neighbours often have windows open and I know the smoke would drift in. So I go downstairs to the garden. They've never asked me to but I think it's the right thing to do. So no, we're not all selfish.

OP, I would ask in a nice and polite way. It's true he could say no of course, but if you don't try you don't know.

The only people I don't care about bothering with my smoke is those who have the attitude of some pp's (you can always tell) who just see us all as inconsiderate assholes! I treat people how they treat me. I wouldn't refuse a genuinely nice request to move away.

Chocolatedinosaurs · 14/05/2024 15:29

I have this problem too but it’s not a flat. My next door neighbour sits on the wall in between our gardens. When my baby was born I asked them if they would mind smoking at the other side as it was a heatwave and wanted to have our window open a bit. They said yeah they minded as can’t sit at the other side and they smoke so much more now in the summer. I’ve just had to learn not to open my windows at the front of the house.

ThatLibraryDebate · 14/05/2024 15:22

No harm in pointing it out and asking him to smoke out the front door or at the end of the garden. I'm afraid if he doesn't change his behaviour it's tough luck for you though.

I'm so bloody sensitive to the smell of cigarette smoke that I am SO grateful that none of my immediate neighbours smoke. If you're like me you may find that him moving to the end of his garden won't make much difference and you'll smell it anyway. I'd keep the bedroom windows closed and see if you can get ventilation /air movement from elsewhere in the flat.

OPOPONAX4 · 14/05/2024 15:16

I doubt he will stop. But you can ask.

Buy a couple of Dyson fans and keep your windows at the back shut. The Dyson fan really does cool the air.

Look into getting an electrician to fit a fan under your window so the smoke blows back into his house.

At least it’s not skunk. Could be worse I suppose!

BettyBardMacDonald · 14/05/2024 15:13

As a former smoker, I wouldn't mind a polite request and would accommodate it if possible. I wouldn't hike to the rear of my garden for every smoke. But I would be more cognizent of weather, wind direction, etc. and try to minimize the problem.

Also suggest that a fan at the window could solve most of the problem. And it will draw air through the house.

qpid5tunt · 14/05/2024 15:01

Put a fan by your window so it blows the smoke away. This also works to stop warm air coming into your room😀

LordPercyPercy · 14/05/2024 14:59

*Smokes are selfish by nature. That’s just fact.

Inflicting your pathetic addiction upon everyone else is a selfish act.*

I totally agree. And not just that - they enjoy their eleventy-million a day fag habit and drop dread of a stroke and break everyone's hearts. Selfish fucks.

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 14/05/2024 14:55

Yellowhammer09 · 14/05/2024 09:49

I don't think you'd be unreasonable to ask if he can smoke at the other end of the garden. Any normal person would understand. Yes, it's a private garden but it affects his neighbours.

This. You definitely wouldn´t be unreasonable to ask.

Whether he´ll actually do it (and to what extent) is a different question, obviously.

RosieTheChi · 14/05/2024 14:51

@MsLuxLisbon There are many variables to consider but it would ultimately be up to the local authority whether a smell is considered a statutory nuisance as there's no quantifiable way to measure it.

If it is excessive and seriously impacting another persons life then it could be considered a nuisance. It all depends on the circumstances though.

MsLuxLisbon · 14/05/2024 14:47

RosieTheChi · 14/05/2024 14:36

It is a myth that you can do what you want on your own property. If it affects other people, whether that be noise or smell etc, it can be considered a nuisance.

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I don't think smoking cigarettes in your own garden violates ordinances. It isn't like having a party until the small hours. If OP tried to complain she'd be laughed out of court, as it were. She needs to close her window.

Charmander67 · 14/05/2024 14:41

We have this problem, only it is the spare room (that ideally my son would move into) that is affected. Worse still, they're weed smokers as well. I keep the window shut all the time but you can still smell it through the vent. I've bought an air purifier which seems to solve the problem for now but I'm annoyed that I can't have my windows open without that shit stinking my house out. Long term, I'm planning to move. Hopefully into a detached house where my neighbours are further away.

SabreIsMyFave · 14/05/2024 14:38

Everanewbie · 14/05/2024 14:36

This post is a good one. You see so many posts of "they're within their rights" or "its perfectly legal". Yes, so is farting in a lift, it doesn't mean its good and right and that no one should ever challenge you on it.

Its a shame you don't have a garden. If he got shirty about a polite request to smoke elsewhere, every time he smoked I'd light a bonfire of weeds - it stinks. Eventually he'd get the message. In your situation I suppose you're reliant on the neighbour being neighbourly, unless you can get creative.

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Farting in a lift. 😆

newmenewday · 14/05/2024 14:36

I think you can politely ask but he's well within his rights to say no

Everanewbie · 14/05/2024 14:36

SabreIsMyFave · 14/05/2024 14:04

This.

I think this about people parking on the bloody road to (in a residential area,) when they've got a driveway. I know it's a free country, and it's perfectly legal blah blah blah, but sometimes it's a case of 'just because you CAN do something, it doesn't always mean you should.'

As for smoking in the garden though. Tricky one. Where is the person meant to go to smoke? Are they meant to go for a walk in the woods where there will (probably) be no humans to offend?!

It's a tough one ... Thankfully smoking is becoming increasingly anti-social. I don't know anyone who smokes now truth be told, except for 2 neighbours. None of my friends, family, or work colleagues, or anyone in my hobby groups. Same with both my adult DDs. They don't smoke, and neither do their partners. My 2 DD have around 20 friends between them. Not one single one smokes.

30+ years ago, it seems like every third person smoked.

Edited
Show quote history

This post is a good one. You see so many posts of "they're within their rights" or "its perfectly legal". Yes, so is farting in a lift, it doesn't mean its good and right and that no one should ever challenge you on it.

Its a shame you don't have a garden. If he got shirty about a polite request to smoke elsewhere, every time he smoked I'd light a bonfire of weeds - it stinks. Eventually he'd get the message. In your situation I suppose you're reliant on the neighbour being neighbourly, unless you can get creative.

RosieTheChi · 14/05/2024 14:36

MsLuxLisbon · 14/05/2024 09:58

YABU. He is entitled to smoke on his own property. I disagree with those who say that it doesn't hurt to ask. If you asked, you'd be a CF imo.

It is a myth that you can do what you want on your own property. If it affects other people, whether that be noise or smell etc, it can be considered a nuisance.

Growlybear83 · 14/05/2024 14:33

OLDERME · 14/05/2024 12:36

I think you would be wrong to ask him to move, because for him it would involve having to get dressed etc. If it was me, I would keep the bedroom window closed and open all the other windows and doors to allow any breeze to waft through.

I agree with this. Given what the weather is often like here, there's a good chance that the neighbour wouldn't want to go out into the garden in the rain or cold for a cigarette.

Someone suggested earlier in the thread by that the OP should put a note through his door rather than speak to him, but if anyone didn't have the decency to try to discuss a problem with me, their note
would go straight into the bin.

SabreIsMyFave · 14/05/2024 14:32

saltinesandcoffeecups · 14/05/2024 12:48

@fope Is there something preventing you from putting a fan in the window to blow out?

I wouldn't be very happy at having to use my electric credit (for a fan,) because of someone else's selfish stinky habit.

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 14/05/2024 14:27

LBFseBrom · 14/05/2024 13:19

Presumably your neighbour only smokes one cigarette at a time. I doubt your problem is as bad as you perceive it. You cannot stop him smoking in his own garden.

In England (I am presuming that is where you are), we have some fine weather but an awful lot of wind and rain, during which time I doubt the smoke wafts up to your bedroom window. I think you could put up with a little passive smoke, it is hardly likely to do you harm. Keep your clothes well away and use some febreeze if necessary.

I'm with the OP 100%
The vast majority are with the OP

Coconutter24 · 14/05/2024 14:24

If you were to ask him and he said no it’s my garden I’ll smoke where I want
but then he asks why don’t you shut your window? Would you also be thinking it’s my home and I want my window open it’s warm so I should be able to? You’d both be coming from the same viewpoint on your own circumstances. YABU to expect someone to stop doing something in their own home to accommodate you, I personally feel in this situation if you have a problem your the one that needs to make adjustments

GoawaySunrise · 14/05/2024 14:21

I'm an outside smoker as well and if someone tacked a very polite note to my door about it bothering them, I would definitely try to accommodate them. I smoke outside because I do find the smell awful. It's a noxious habit to have and I would understand.

crazyBadger · 14/05/2024 14:12

Both side neighbours of mine smoke weed... I can never open my window without the whole house stinking .

We bought a Aircon unit