To think only my baby doesn't sleep

Big hugs - this stage can feel absolutely endless!! My first two slept ok from about 9 months onwards, the third didn't sleep through til 3 and my youngest STILL wakes in the night at nearly 6. He's even worse when it's a full moon - raging night terrors. He does go back to sleep pretty quickly when it isn't full moon, but my God I've aged so much this last few years!!!

Keeping everything crossed things settle for you.

My 19 month old will wake up soon and we just put him between us now as we need sleep. I figure that he's growing and developing at a rate of knots. He wakes himself up talking in his sleep. When he's older he'll understand the concept of lying cosy in his own bed 🤞🏻

My 5yo has slept through less than 5 times. Last time I went into labour with his little sister, who is now 2... At least he doesn't wake up for the day at 3am anymore though...

I empathise op. Hopefully yours is just disrupted from holidays and will settle again in weeks/months and not years. Make sure each bed is well equipped with extra pillows, blankets, chargers and snacks if you're bed swapping. I keep 2 rooms fully equipped at all times in case of teeth/illness ;)

My child finally slept through at 11 months. I was so happy! It lasted 4 nights. She's now approaching 18 months and apart from the odd ok night, her sleep has been consistently appalling since then. We've gone from night weaned and drifting off in her cot to feeding on demand throughout the night. I wake up every morning with her in my bed and no memory of how she got there because I was so tired.

It feels disheartening but I think it's linked to separation anxiety so I go easy on her and hope that giving her what she needs right now will help her in the long run.

Yes, it is OTC in other countries. GPs don’t generally prescribe it without diagnosis, unfortunately. (Believe me, I’ve tried! It’s a catch 22 on the waiting list.) The sleep clinics can though.

I just think it’s worth being very cautious advising people to give young children anything to sleep unless advised. It can mask other issues, interact with some medications, cause problems like psoriasis and can stop being effective after a while and then you’re back to square one. If your child doesn’t respond well to it and you’ve bought it in another country, it’s not as easy to seek help and a UK hospital might refer to SS. For children who genuinely have sleep concerns, it’s worth trying the sleep clinics which can be self referred to. For children who are just poor sleepers, it’s better to try different things first.

I say this as a mum who had a very ill baby who didn’t sleep properly for nearly the first year (and went on to have ADHD related sleep issues). However non-risky it is, readers should be aware of the risks when not given under medical care.

It is over the counter in the US and Singapore! But definitely worth exploring with a GP here. There’s a wealth of studies showing it’s efficacy and safety.

My almost 17 month old has never slept through the night. She’s generally up every 2-3 hours throughout the night. The last two nights she’s slept 8-4 though so I’m hoping this is the start of better nights!!!!

Your baby is 7 weeks old? They are supposed to be Nocturnal!

Not only your baby, but babies can be so different. My 2 yesr old isn't a great sleeper. Has only slept through the night a handful of times. Doesn't really matter what I do, he just rarely sleeps more than 4 hours.

On the other hand, his baby brother, who I have done much less with sleeps the night through, and has done for the most part since he was 7 weeks old- rarely even wakes for a bottle until 5:30- but he has slept until 7 a few times this week.

Just do what you can to get support with sleep, but it does also tend to slightly improve with age.

I feel for you. I'm glad i didn't know how long it was going to be when my 2nd and youngest was born. The health nurse used to say you're feet are up what are you complaining about. I almost hit her.
I will say my last baby is now 15 - not months..15 years!! and Just started sleeping LOL still some nights it's mid night bed, but she doesn't keep me awake just lays in bed.

I think, along the lines of what others have said, it's an individual thing.

I had two babies, one was a dream, sleeping and napping as per Gina Ford (with very little effort on my part) the second never slept. With him, I struggled for the first few years and then let him sleep with me. He still wasn't great but it was better and saved our sanity and relationship.

As adults the elder is still a great sleeper and will easily sleep over 12 hours 😮
The younger is up early and bouncing around all day but still won't go to bed until the very last minute.

As with the other posters and everyone who's had a non sleeper, you have my sympathy.

Mine was the same but suddenly hit age 2 and started sleeping overnight like someone had flicked a switch. It's exhausting OP, you have my sympathy

In the UK, it’s prescription only. There are sleep clinics that can prescribe for children with sleep issues.

DS woke every 45 minutes - 1 hour from 10pm - 5.30am from 4-18 months. I was broken. Took a week off work, slept for a whole day while he was at nursery and sleep trained him from that night. It was like having a new child, wish I'd done it sooner.

DD slept through the night from 12 weeks, I didn't tell a soul because I know how horrific having a non sleeper is. Same routine, same feeding, same environment, very different children.

I think when you have babies this age, those who have good sleepers shout the loudest. I was feeling like only my baby slept so badly, until I spoke to a few of my NCT group individually and found theirs were the same, they just didn’t join the sleep chat on the group WhatsApp. I also don’t think people are always truthful, one mum in our group claims hers sleeps 10-12 hours at a time, but then recently mentioned waking for feeds but doesn’t seem to count those as breaking her babies stretch of sleep

Awww poor you! It's tough sometimes and shit sleep can make us mums feel so alone
The first 2 years with ds he never slept through. Getting up after 3 hours for an hour at a time.... every 3 hours (then 2, then 1) every night
My friend had a baby at the same time as me and she has different struggles with her dd. She's always been an early riser (ds isn't bcos he's too tired from all the wakes) and her dd hasn't napped from about 14mo

Also I’ve had many hours watching my child/studying her sleep when trying to figure out what to do and once she started flipping on to her side she slept better.

they start to need less sleep at that age and the total sleep recommendation includes daytime naps so maybe consider a later bedtime and shorter daytime naps? I never wake mine from a nap tbf I just want the peace and think she obviously needs it. We don’t get big awake periods at night. If she won’t settle I go food, pain, discomfort (eg nappy/temperature ) then environment. Work through the lot each time and normally something works.

sleep training has exceptions for teething and ill so it’s normal for them to be up. They are suffering so need comfort. it’s really hard to be the one doing it.

my child is similar age and feeds twice between 8pm-8am which is medically normal according to the NHS so I’m not sure what evidence base so called ‘Sleep Consultants’ use to say babies don’t need milk overnight. Especially if ill or teething as their food consumption can be lower as they struggle to eat so of course need milk. Plus the heat.

i think there’s a mental leap around then coz they are changing so much. FWIW I haven’t sleep trained and I get like6/7 hour stretches and good naps, but then for no reason I can see, some days baby is up every hour or couple of hours , disturbed. I haven’t changed anything. It’s wild.

its mega hard. I’ve just found ways to survive as nothing lasts forever. Drugs for pain, consistent night routine (30min max inc bath), consistent nap times. Go to bed at 8/9 some nights until 2am - partner covers any wakes. You sleep spare room. Then from the wake around 2ish we swap And they sleep elsewhere until 7/8. So you both get unbroken sleep. I might put her to bed later if she’s been up and down a lot so at least we can eat dinner/watch a bit of tv without dealing with crying/resettle.

basically you are not the only one. I just think the good sleepers are born like that but it all evens out. I felt better when I dropped the expectations- my child has managed all other developmental milestones as expected so I’m sure sleep will come.

To all those with a truly nocturnal toddler, have you considered melatonin? If their body clocks haven’t set quite right, it could help. It’s natural and doesn’t have to be forever: even just a few nights can help reset their body clock. Sadly can’t use it on babies, but it’s ok for toddlers and children.

That's bs that everyone else's babies sleep it's just not true at all, most wake up

I'm sorry you felt you needed to sleep train

All babies are so different, I hate anyone that suggests it's to do with routines and the like. I'd say the vast majority of the time, it has nothing to do with the parenting and everything to do with them as tiny humans!

My 6 year old was shocking when it came to sleep. He'd stare at me wide eyed throughout the night for YEARS. There was also lots of screaming and fussiness - I tried my absolute best with routines and he had a fantastic bedtime routine from day dot.

I now have a 4 week old (early days, I know) but I've not had one troublesome night and the "routines" are in no way established and I'm nowhere near as on it.

What I'm saying is and it's probably not helpful but it's just pick of the bunch. Don't beat yourself up in any way because it's nothing to do with you. With my first I was convinced I was doing something wrong but I now know that not to be the case. Like another PP said, get some others around you that have "interesting" sleepers... having messages pop up in solidarity through the night definitely helped me. X

@MotherofWomen yep I am getting 30 min wakes over here and only if I hold her. She’s 4 months so I think I know what this is… fucking regression. Anyone who dares to say “it’s not a regression it’s a sleep progression!” can fuck right off.

I’ve got to look after a baby and a 3 yo all day by myself and we have no plans and it’s raining and the 3yo doesn’t nap and will be up any minute now. Also feel like this might kill me. I have visibly aged about 5 years since January.

The longest stretch mine has done tonight is 50 mins. This is her normal. I think I might honestly die.