How do I stop my kids (2 and 4) running around / away from me ?

Reins as already suggested.

I wouldn't take kids of that age on my own out for lunch unless it was to a play cafe. Not enjoyable for me or my kids.

2yo is often in the buggy or on reins when out, depends on the situation. Basically always have the buggy with me even when he's not so if he runs off or causes a problem I give him a warning that he is going to have to go in th buggy if he doesn't stop and I follow through if that happens.

Mostly we go to kid friendly places though like parks, fenced in playgrounds, playgroups where youngest can't open the doors to get out, same with soft play and so on. So not a big issue really.

Theres 15 months between my two and when they were that age I stuck them on leashes like puppies.

Reins.

Best thing ever for keeping a pair of slippery little fuckers away from danger.

As an alternative approach you could teach STOP! ?
Play it as a game everywhere, begin at home.
Whenever you shout/say/whisper stop they must stand very still looking in your direction... Then treat with - praise, small prizes dare I say it sweets 🙈 encourage good behaviour and even a star chart for the STOP competition between siblings.
When STOP is established begin with Come which they must return immediately for game purposes you can add different actions... Arms up, crouch down, and so on to release there must be GO.
For context I have looked after many children as a childminder/nanny/nursery officer and a mum of 4 ( my beautiful blended family) .
Just thought I would share 🤩

I find it easier now the eldest won’t run, I just keep some form of contact with the youngest “hold my hand or I hold your hood” seems to work.

Reins, buggy or little backpack with lead attached for parent control.
And speak firmly about road safety. Every single time.

Mine were the same and I’d just avoid places where I couldn’t keep them safe.

4yo tried it once on the school field and I just carried on to the exit and without reacting (he couldn’t have got out). He freaked out and never did it again!

Picnics in safe spaces, enclosed parks. Practice allowing them some freedom in a safer space first, it is important that they learn to hold a hand. Change up buggy, reins, scooter for the 4 Yr old.
Take another adult with you to help them stay safe. Older kids are also great for this they love holding big cousin/ neighbour's hand.
Nothing encourages children to run like an open space!

My kids are the same age and my 2yr old did manage to run onto the road before I caught him and it's a busy road. It was pure luck nothing was coming or he wouldve been a goner.

I bought reigns. He wore them once, hated them and now I just take them with me so if he refuses to hold my hand I say "if you don't hold my hand, I will put the bag on" and he usually just gives me his hand. He walked nice as pie today :D

Reins.

Bribe the 4YO. Sitting nicely, listening to mummy etc gets to order an ice cream at the pub after they’ve had lunch. I probably wouldn’t take them out to eat solo if they’re not very used to restaurants. Build up by doing it more as a foursome so they know exactly what it is expected. Take a yummy snack they can have for leaving the park nicely. Pushchair is your friend with the younger one. Any running away, not listening and they get strapped it, doesn’t matter if they’re kicking and screaming. 4YO gets their warning that it’s almost time to go as the youngest is being manhandled! It’s old enough to understand that it’s dangerous to run away and if they don’t leave nicely I’d expect consequences at home eg loss of TV time.

Make it clear if they run off you you go home

And follow through

Reins and buggy

When mine were that age the 2yr went in the high chair and 4 yr old sat.
I did bring things to do colouring or small toys.
Id ask for the kids food to come as soon as it was ready. And have snacks to keep them going.
It wasn't perfect and they did play up.
Good on you for going out for lunch. It will get better.

How big is the park you go to? I stuck to smaller ones where I could see my 4yr old and stick with the 2 year old.
Firm rules with your 4yr old ie if I call you, you come back. Set the expectations about leaving - put the baby in the buggy even if you have to fight and he screams… he’s safe.

Explain to your daughter that you will warn her five minutes before you are due to leave and then tell her you are putting her brother in the buggy and then going. She can have a last go on something. If she runs away give her a chance to come back ie I’m going to ask you to come back, ask again then say nothing and try to catch her and hold her hand without speaking try to get them both out the park.
Then distract, distract, distract - ohh look at that tree/flower/bird. Snacks at the ready.

I would then maybe later have a chat with your 4yr old ‘didn’t we have a nice time in the park although it was very hard to leave’. Repeat the rules.

I don’t know if any of this is right, it’s just the sort of thing I did. By the time no3 was born I had a 7 year old to push the buggy 🙈

Good luck 🍀

I would use reins. Especially near traffic.

Reins or buggy until he learns to do what you’ve said.
Same goes for the older one. If she’s going to behave like a 2 year old she can be treated like one.

No lunches out, picnics from now on

Parks, with a fence. It's the only way.

Definitely use your pushchair for the 2 year old whether walking with your DD or not, and I'd have her on one of those wrist straps that join you to each other.

As mentioned use reins for the 2 year old when they're playing in the park/at the pub, leave them on and just hook the strap through the back of the reigns so little one doesn't trip over.

Just before you go out a chat about behaviour and consequences, whether they understand now or not make it a habit to get into and do stick to any rules you make, counting to 10 and giving chances is a no.

The park is for them to let off steam but when it's time to go tell them you're off in 5 minutes but I certainly wouldn't chase them If they're in a safe space that's just another game to them.

They'll soon tire of it when they know you mean what you say, so no lunches out if they run around at the pub and can't do as you ask and no play ground fir a day ir so if they ignore you when it's home time.

What was the consequence for running off?

Reins. If they keep doing it they will either end up causing injury to themselves or someone else.

You don’t need reins but you take a buggy and you get firm. They either hold hands or they go in buggy/get picked up. Rinse and repeat and follow through. No biscuit after the trip etc if silly.

YANBU because you see a lot of children running near the roads and it’s so bloody dangerous.

Reins and play the stop/go game where you say go and they can go then stop and they freeze. They think it's fun and it has the added bonus they get used to freezing when you say stop. Still works on my 9yo 😆

I'd get reins or one of those backpack reins type thing.

Yes, this! I have 4 children, and my youngest (3) will run off sometimes, or ignore me if he's having too much fun. I warn him if it happens again, he's either going in the pushchair, or will have to hold my hand and have no freedom, and I mean it, and carry out the 'threat'. He's learned pretty quickly that it's better to not run away!