4 year old getting pierced ears at Superdrug

I passed Claire’s the other day, it’s placed in the middle of our local shopping centre with their awful ‘piercing’ set up at the very front of the shop. A woman was holding her toddler as the poor girl screamed the entire mall down, overhead a couple of people say how disgusting it was. The mother didn’t have an ounce of shame about it.

Yes I absolutely judge about these things, and again ‘culture’ is trotted out as an excuse for shitty behaviour. It is one of the many ways girls are taught from a young age that their bodies only exist to look good/pretty for others, the first of many ways consent is taken away. It may be ‘a flap of skin’ but no one has a right to modify and harm a child’s body even in the smallest way without damn good reason. ‘Looking pretty/make sure everyone knows you’re a girl’ is the most piss poor reason.

It’s absolutely time that ear piercing was highly regulated with a minimum age of at least 5 (though I’d personally say 10) and the child in question is fully able to understand and consent to a piercing.

My DH is a manager for Superdrug. He would have stopped his team from carrying out the piercing if the child was so distressed. I'm sure that's meant to be the practice in all stores. Parents are told to take their child for a walk etc until they calm down and are confident enough that they do actually want their ears pierced. Certainly no holding down and piercing a screaming child. That's awful! I would have complained too. I hope at the very least the team are reminded not to pierce someone who is so distressed.

You were witnessing child abuse.

It flummoxed me, why it is legal to make holes in children’s flesh to put decorations through.

We are quick to condemn other ‘cultural’ reasons for modifying children’s bodies.

We absolutely do get to decide how other people and cultures do things. There are lots of cultural practices that are illegal in the UK. Similarly, common UK cultural practices may be illegal in other countries.

Just because something is a cultural practice does not render it immune from scrutiny.

Ear piercing of small children against their will appears to be culturally acceptable among some people in the UK - that does not mean it is generally acceptable, nor does it mean that it should be legal in the future, indeed many of us think that the whole area of cosmetic medical procedures (from piercing to botox) needs a lot more regulation and oversight.

I have mixed feelings on this.

I’m willing to bet that the Sales Assistant was feeling very uncomfortable with the situation and probably didn’t want to pierce the child when they were so upset.

I work for Superdrug and my team would have the confidence to refuse to carry out a piercing on a child that was clearly distressed and I would back them up.
However, many parents are very pushy and insist their child really wants it and threaten to put in a complaint if it is not carried out. And the company come down harsh on stores receiving complaints.

We offer piercing from 3 years old (personally I think it’s too young but it’s company policy) and parents should all be offered the opportunity for both ears to be pierced at the same time. But if they say no, the child will be fine with one ear at a time and then the child gets upset after the first one has been done, the parents are often insisting the second ear is done and they will hold the child.

My team will refuse until the child is calm and actively want the other ear done. They have often gone for lunch/a walk/shopping before returning for the second piercing.

My daughter waited until she was 17 to get her ears pierced and chose a tattoo/piercing place as she wanted a needle. However, they pierced her with the earring as is standard for them with lobe piercings apparently. Only cartilage and nose are carried out with a needle.

How do you know what colour/class MN contributors are?

Can someone with a better understanding of the law than me explain why pinning down a non-consenting child and sticking needles into her for non-medical purposes isn't common law battery? Or does it somehow pass the test of 'lawful force'?

Yes it is an ableist slur. Maybe you need to school yourself on offensive terms instead of thinking it's beneath you.

If you were so confident in your opinion then you wouldn't have felt the need to name change. 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's not snobbery, it's being more progressive by not treating a baby or very young child like a doll for the benefit of the parents.

I actually think that most parents I've come across who have a thing about ear piercing are far from progressive and tend to be controlling and authoritarian.

@Childpiercinggate - it's ironic that you are frothing about ear piercing and see yourself as having standards, then in the same breath you're slinging out ableist slurs at people.

Your daughter told you herself she regrets it. You, as the parent, should have been able to make the judgement that 5 is too young for her to fully understand what she's asking to have done, and told her no. The fact she regretted it after shows she wasn't ready but you did it anyway 🤷‍♀️

I'm sure many 4 and 5 year old would nag their parents for ice cream every single meal or 6 months straight if they thought their parents might cave in simply because they asked for long enough. But any sensible parent wouldn't simply go "Oh well, she asked for ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner for 6 months straight so clearly she is mature enough to make that decision herself so I'll have to allow it"

Gosh you're a bit of a snowflake aren't you? Where exactly did I accuse you of lying?

I know that Claire's almost always pierces both ears at the same time.

My 3yo asked for well over a year and I sourced a professional, reputable body piercer who refused until she was 5.

During that time, we didn't raise the topic and DD asked again at 5 so she was booked in. We laid on think how painful it would be and once one ear was done, she had to either have the other one done or the first one taken out before we left she was surprised how painful it was but the professional piercer had booked her in for 30 mins so she had time to calm down and make a decision.

At 5 I think its right to include them on reversal decisions about body autonomy if they have the capacity. My daughter absolutely did. However, I'll be upfront and say that she said that whilst she's please she has them done, in hindsight she wouldn't have had it done knowing how painful it was.

It doesn't sound like the 4yo or the piercing place were making the right decision.

You see babies sitting in prams who have pierced ears - what can these parents be thinking?

It is child abuse plain and simple. I can't imagine how it is even legal.

@Childpiercinggate Yes, that's exactly what I suspected too!

@Dollenganger333 Why the heck would I lie about this? I saw it with my own eyes. It was a few years ago and maybe they've changed the way they operate since then, but my mum and I saw it happen and it was very distressing for the poor child. Other posters have also witnessed something similar at Claires. How dare you say you accuse me of lying!

A four year old might express an interest in having their ears pierces, maybe because they've got an older sibling who's had it done and that might convince some parents that it's okay to do it (although if the parent had half a brain they'd know that 4 is far too young for the child to really understand what they're asking for, and that 4 year olds ask for all kinds of things that aren't good for them)

A baby having their ears pierced is the parent willfully having it done, without any possible influence from the child wanting it, simply because its what the parent wants

I don't compare it to FGM, which is a hundred times worse, I might not classify it as strictly abuse, but it's still terrible parenting choices

I'm from a culture where this is done very young and sometimes as young as a few months old. Thankfully this is dying out now and more rare in my age group (40s) to be doing this. In fact if I see a young child with ears pierced it really puts me off the parents. Such a horrible thing to do to a child all for the sake of vanity.

I think that's awful, yes the mum gave consent but how could the person doing the piercing carry on, I just couldn't!
I think stores should have an over 5 policy tbh

Yuk.

Child abuse.