4 year old getting pierced ears at Superdrug

I'd love to hear stories from other mumsnetters who have had years of trauma therapy on the nhs for having their ears pierced at such a young age. Like you say il wait for them all to start rolling in on this thread as I'm really interested to hear about it

Precisely @Jc2001
Why is it culturally acceptable to pierce a baby's ears? What is the history behind it?

I'm not sure anyone is really comparing the seriousness of FGM to ear piercing it's just when people start using 'its a cultural thing' as a reason for doing things to young babies who have no choice, it's not unreasonable to point out that for many reasons that's not an excuse.

I'm sure all the people with real- life examples on this thread of the life -altering trauma they've experienced due to ear piercing would beg to differ! I'm sure a few will be along soon to tell you how much deep-seated trauma they have and counselling they've had to undergo. I'm sorry for what you've had to go through and hope the therapy is helping🙏

Well, dropping babies off at nursery for the majority of their toddler hood, or underage sex, drinking or smoking don't cause half as much damage as baby ear piercing perhaps

Dont be ridiculous it doesn't even compare iv spent most of my life in therapy because of childhood sexual abuse/rape I assure you I have never discussed my piercings with a mh worker as its just not that big a deal or had any impact on my life whatsoever. I also can't imagine their is anyone having years of trauma therapy because they had their ears pierced as a young child.

A person does not have to live in a culture that is perfect in every way in order to hold an opinion on child assault. That is an irrelevance.

This is actually quite thought provoking. I don't think banning piercing up to a particular age is the answer. Likewise its not the same as vaccination as benefits outweigh bad etc, but I don't think its child abuse either. There also may be negative consequences for not getting piercing done, depending on the culture. However I 100% agree the procedure needed to stop there until the child was calmed down, whether that was 10 mins later with lollipop in mouth or 2 days or even a year later. That responsibility lies both with the parent and the shop, the shop should have a duty to the child if the parent doesn't do the right thing.

I worked in a shoe shop and toddlers would scream blue murder getting feet measured or putting on shoes. I was asked to hold a child down once. My own child screamed when restrained in a buggy, literally pulling hair out and scratching his face. I gave up leaving the house with him unless by car, most people thought I was being soft but they hadn't witnessed the severity of his reaction. I left a hairdressers twice, he had an aversion to people touching his hair or head. However I strapped him down while he screamed and clawed when getting anaesthetic for a procedure. These are my own examples but all could be debated at to what response was right.

I love how people are acting so superior over other cultures who pierce their babies ears, like their own culture is perfect.

In my country, dropping off a baby to nursery for 8 hours a day would be looked at with disgust. Some of you are just so ignorant that you can't open your mind up to other ways of living.

Anyone who gets their kids ears pierced (without the kids asking for it to be done) is awful imo. Even worse for babies! Only people I know who did it are chavs.

I don’t think it should be done until age 8 earliest ideally 10.

I doubt anyone would be ok to hold down a small child to get a small cute tattoo yet it’s ok to put permanent holes in their ears?

You absolutely did the correct thing. It is a disgusting practice and I will write to Head Office in solidarity asking why children that are not old enough to consent are allowed to be subjected to this barbaric abuse in the name of profit.

My mum just said no. I could have them done at 16 and that was the end of it
I didn't dare ask again as I knew what the answer would be
I held off until a week before my 16th birthday and was terrified she would go mad

I don't agree - any assault on a child is fundamentally wrong. We cannot say that we will allow little assaults and only mind about the big ones that have longer term consequences - an assault is an assault.

In the situation quoted by the OP (and I have witnessed similar), the child was terrified and trying to fend off the assault. This cannot be right in anyone's moral code.

Parents have a duty to protect their children both from outside assaults and from their own immaturity and inability to make wise decisions.

I had mine done at 5yo. Asked for it for my birthday as mum had hers pierced. It really wasn't a big deal - apart from being excited about getting it done.

I don't agree with pinning kids down, but also don't think it's a drama if the kid is happy to have them done. I don't agree with making kids wait till they're in their teens to get their ears pierced.

Ear piercing is not painful

Yes is it, especially when done with a gun. I still remember the pain when I was forced to have mine done (it was my sister who wanted them but as the eldest I had to go first apparently).

FGM is not cultural - it is a practice with roots in deep seated misogyny and is violence designed to oppress women.

FGM is not an acceptable comparison in terms of the physical damage done. But piercing young girls ears (especially without consent) is rooted in misogyny and oppression. It’s just part of a million paper cuts of misogyny - it’s far easier to excuse the ‘little’ things when yes, there are other practices against girls and women that leave far greater impacts. Doesn’t make it right though.

I'd say 16 would be right.

THAT would be common sense.

I have not read the full thread, but this debate seems to be gaining traction (and I’m not sorry about it). I know that Lucy Beaumont has been very vocal about this on Twitter recently.

As for the cultural excuse - this does not hold water - we would legalise FGM if it did.

You need to stop conflating earrings with FGM. It is utterly ridiculous. Ear piercing is not painful and does not result in a lifetime of being unable to have sex without pain and never being able to experience sexual pleasure.

FGM is not cultural - it is a practice with roots in deep seated misogyny and is violence designed to oppress women.

Where's the best place to go? My daughter wants hers done for her11th birthday but I don't want it to be anything like this horrendous experience!

Ear piercing is something mumsnet goes bananas about but in real life it’s just not a big deal. Plenty of kids have their ear pierced from Year 1.

Quite. Common sense.

Our peirce fave a 30 minute appointment and sought consent between each ear.

I'd say that's a world of difference between that and a public shop using a gun going against a child's will.

I think we can agree some common ground without taking polarised black and white views.

Oh no, I'm actually agreeing with the OP and other posters. Just pointing out other harm that kids come through that I'm sure other posters will agree shouldn't happen as well

This isn't the place to discuss it but I disagree that Karen isn't a slur. But that's a whole other thread.

The thing to do is to stand in the shop and ring the police on your mobile phone. "I wish to report that a child is being assaulted."

As for the cultural excuse - this does not hold water - we would legalise FGM if it did.

It is child abuse.

Ah thanks for pointing that out. Perhaps piercing should also be 16 then as well