Would you date someone who was HIV positive?

Wow this is quite enlightening. Surely if they’re on the medication that stops transmission you should be ok? And if you become serious and want to do anything unprotected you can also take the one that stops you getting it. If I really liked him I’d be thankful he told me and make sure we used protection. But I didn’t grow up with it when there was the epidemic.

I don't care about anyone elses disappointment in my life choices.

You can, but that doesn't mean people can't be disappointed (or something stronger) in you because of it.

I wouldn’t risk my health for a new partner, no. But more significantly, I’d expect that person to share the information from the outset and not wait to disclose it. It may be that the person in question was upset by the failure to do that vs. blocking him on the basis of the illness itself.

I would. Easy to say when I'm happily married and not remotely considering dating anyone. I thought the modern medicines meant it can't be passed on.

Why?

I'm aware that you can't catch it if the viral load of undetectable, but it would still be a no. You can choose not to date someone for any reason you like.

I'm genuinely surprised so many people wouldn't! It wouldn't bother me at all.

No.
As much as I'd like to say yes because I know that treatment has evolved to the point that with medication there is no viral load etc etc but its not something I could ever find peace with as I'd feel constantly on edge the same way I did in 2020/21.

No I wouldn't.

And not because I think there's anything wrong with having HIV it's just you would have to fully trust the other person to be taken their medication and I just would never trust someone that much even if we had been together a long time, so there's no way I would trust someone I hadn't known very long.

I do feel bad for this man though.

I think I would (if they were amazing, and after lots of research). But I don't think anyone should feel that they have to. However, just blocking someone without any conversation (if that's what happened) is pretty bad behaviour.

Yes - Very disappointed in the number of people who have said no without doing any research etc.

Wouldn't bother me at all. As you say it's no different to any other chronic condition. If you don't trust someone to take medication then that's more of a reason not to date them . But of course everyone is entitled to their own opinion

As an old, heterosexual trout with my childbearing years behind me no, it would not be a dealbreaker. I would appreciate the honesty.

As a younger woman hoping to have children it absolutely would have been a line I wouldn’t cross.

I just want to make clear for your own personal safety. Straight woman can catch this virus to, it may not even be a problem for you if your in a long term relationship but I felt u should let you know just in case.

U=U

wouldn’t bother me in the slighest

I think I would if I was really into them

No I wouldn’t.

A close friend is HIV positive. He doesn't tell many people because the stigma is still very much there. His partner of course knows.

They have been very open with me about medication and treatment, and based upon what I now know, it wouldn't be an issue for me provided the person was rigorous about taking their medication. If I didn't know what I now know it would frighten me though.

That said, I am happily married, and DH is irreplaceable to me, so I'm unlikely to be looking for a partner.

Fair enough I was only a baby-young child in the 90’s 😅 maybe some postman pat, rainbow and Sooty and sweep on my tv 😂 moving upto wizadora and such.

What happened in the 90’s ?

Many people (predominantly gay men) died of AIDS in the 80s and 90s. It was a death sentence back then. The poster means that people do not seem to realize that HIV is now a chronic lifelong condition, it's very, very rare to die of AIDS now in the UK.

OP I'm quite surprised this happened to your relative as a gay man. I'd be more likely to expect this reaction to HIV from straight people.

I assume it was because it was seen as a death sentence in the 90,s those of us of a certain age will remember the Don't die of ignorance ,Tomb stone adverts ,which put the fear of God into a generation of people
And it's stuck in people's. Minds ,it's hard to understand that it's a far more manageable condition these days .

I am married to someone who is HIV+. DH is a haemophiliac who was told he was HIV+ when he was 11, and also diagnosed with hepatitis C when he was 13. Both were due to infected blood.

He told me on our first date. I took some time to think about it and spoke to a doctor who explained the actual issues rather than the tombstone ads. This was before combination therapy. DH started combination therapy that summer and it has worked. The Hep C was cured about 10 years ago. While he obviously still has health issues these are due to the haemophilia and arthritis caused by joint bleeds.

We have been married for nearly 30 years and have two children. The children and I are negative. I test annually but more from habit and for reassurance than anything else, as DH has had an undetectable viral load for a long time.

I would ask more questions first, but I wouldn't be totally against the idea.

I can't believe that people think this should be brought up on a first date though, that could be dangerous, and nobody else would be expected to divulge all their personal medical information on a first date. This is something that needs to be brought up when sex is on the cards.

No I wouldn't. I know some people can have a viral load that's undetectable but I still wouldn't.