They/them pronouns in primary school workbooks

That is just teaching children bad grammar. I accept that for someone who is binary there may be no alternative to "they", but it's probably better to leave that till they've got the basic grammar 100% secure.

Yes, we are heading towards this as a norm now. I think people need to just roll with the times and accept it. Children aren't confused by it, it's older people that are. Just like children aren't confused that there can be same sex relationships and families. When I was growing up I thought nothing of same sex relationships but adults were in uproar thinking that allowing children to know about it will confuse us.
Some people can be mistaken for the wrong gender even when they are the gender they are born with, especially young children so I think avoiding he/she isn't the worst thing. A lot of young children dress in neutral clothing so I tend to avoid saying boy or girl just in case.
There is an over representation of non-binary and trans people in the Autistic community, that may be why it is relevant to a book about Autism. The reasons for the over representation aren't clear but I would guess it has something to do with Autistic people generally doing their own thing rather than being hung up on social norms. Wouldn't life be easier for all of us if we could just be who we truly want to be without worrying about fitting in or people thinking we are strange.

Ordinarily I wouldn’t see any issue at all with using they to refer to children in a resource like this, or a children’s book for example. It’s positive for kids to be able to identify with some / all / any aspects of a character without being influenced by gendered stereotypes, or what they might perceive as gendered characteristics. However, I think that to use they for two twins is potentially confusing, more so than it needs to be. A better option would be to use a range of pronouns for different characters.

Things aren’t changing, there are still only two sexes.

I’d say the resource is inappropriate for two reasons - gender identity is a contested belief and it will cause confusion and uncertainty about the rules of grammar and how English language is correctly used.

It’s actually shocking that this is being proposed as suitable for children with autism. They need, like many children, unequivocal clear teaching examples that are designed with integrity (not TRA propaganda).

It is confusing. Imagine a child whose first language isn’t English dealing with this.

We do use “they” as a placeholder when we are not sure of the sex of the person we are referring to, but in the hotel manager example, I’d expect the staff member to say “she’ll be here shortly” or “he’s just coming” which would then clarify this for me.

Isn't this not just because there are two of them? They / them is plural

I might need educating... Suppose I'm at a hotel and make a complaint at the front desk. The staff member is unable to resolve my issue and tells me, "You'll have to speak with my manager." I do not know whether the manager is male or female, and I cannot see any other staff member at the desk so I respond with, "Where are they?", or, "Where would I find them?". Is this grammatically incorrect, and if so, what should I be using in this sort of scenario?

My autistic 7yo has yet to grasp the correct use of he/she. It wouldn’t be helpful to introduce more confusion at this point. Children need to understand binary before they can grasp nonbinary.

No, I don't think even my 8 year old (who does not have asd) would understand the concept of non-binary. So even if it was explained by the author as I suggested, it probably would still be too confusing for children, let alone children with asd.

As the parent of an asd child, my Ds would find this either confusing (when he was younger) or very irritating once he was old enough to know it doesn’t make sense.
if you’re trying to give asd children advice it needs to be absolutely crystal clear
“Stevie does things that might confuse people. They need to explain it's how they express themself.”
WHO needs to explain? Is it the people or is it stevie? It doesn’t make sense! If my asd son had come across this at primary level I think he’d probably have ripped it up in frustration. Ordinary life/social interaction was already confusing. If a book supposedly trying to clarify things for him was even more confusing he’d get distressed.

@SmartiesParty no that's not correct. The third person singular is he/she. They is the third person plural.

Singular:
I
You
He/she

Plural:
We
You
They

There is. Not theirs. Now I’m confused!

I take more offence to the tautology in liking their favourite subject if we’re picking holes in it!

I don’t think theirs any ambiguity that it’s Stevie that’s good at science.

Stevie likes their favourite subject at school which is science. They're really good at it.

sorry missed this one. Who's favourite subject does Stevie like? And who's good at it? Is there something missing from the start, like reference to a bunch of other kids?

Stevie likes chatting to their friends at school about their weekend. They need to remember to ask their mates things as well.

Stevie does things that might confuse people. They need to explain it's how they express themself.

*so stevies friends need to also remember to ask their friends how they are?

And the people Stevie confuses need to explain their confusion is how they express themselves?*

Surely they is not grammatically incorrect. If you were referring to someone and said 'they went to the shop' that would be correct

Based on what you've written, that both names are ambiguous in terms of gender, I think the book is written so that the characters could be male or female depending on how the text is being used for teaching. I wouldn't assume it's because these characters are non-binary. I think it's to make the text flexible as a resource, so that teachers can use it as boy twins 'Stevie and Alex' or girl twins 'Stevie and Alex'. Or maybe one of each. Because there could be instances when having particular characters of a certain gender or mix of genders is advantageous.

it impacts comprehension.
is science both twins favourite subject at school? Or just Stevie’s?
it’s not clear
ate both twins really good at science or just Stevie?
again could be either

it’s not a good thing at all
if we want kids to understand what they are reading!

@KellyMaureen There are a couple of excellent Facebook groups where professional editors ask others' advice about this kind of thing. One is Editors' Association of Earth (EAE), which has contributors from the US, UK, Australia etc. Another is the CIEP, which is British. They may not be public groups but since it's an editing query (imo) you'd be able to join, I think. Or message CIEP. In your position I would ask for advice from these knowledgeable people to help you come to a decision.
My own feeling is that it's likely to cause confusion for primary kids.

I don’t see an issue really. Things are changing and gender is becoming seen as more fluid now. I don’t subscribe to the idea that children will be confused or that they’ll be influenced to become transgender or gay, it doesn’t work like that. I know I’ll probably be in the minority here!

One of the (many many) problems with all the non-binary 'inclusive' language is it's grammatically incorrect to use they/them pronouns in the singular, so it's not teaching children the correct use of the English language and I imagine must be particularly confusing to ND children (and also anyone learning English as a second / foreign language). So not particularly inclusive after all.

I might be against the mould but I think it’s perfect. It allows the reader to infer the child’s gender as they prefer and could help identify with them. I have a mild preference to reading books where the main character is a women or shares certain characteristics with me.

Also my son has long hair and despite wearing very ‘boyish’ clothes constantly gets referred to as she / her. As a rule now I have started to refer to other children as they / them until the child or adult specifies. I also do the same with dogs if I don’t know.

if you’re not sure you could always politely question their reasoning in the feedback 🤷‍♀️

This is so confusing!! The text should be as clear as possible, using him/her. Plenty of time later to learn about non-binary pronouns!

I think it is confusing and ambiguous particularly because it is about twins. As a reader, even as an adult, I’m wondering if Stevie likes chatting to the friends Stevie shares with their twin, Jo/e etc, or with their own, individual friends.

Using their doesn’t necessarily mean the person is non binary because we would always have said “that person is wearing their jumper back to front” just as easily as that man/that woman his/her, but in the context of literacy and confident reading for young children, using twins AND nonbinary children is needlessly obscuring the meaning.

Technically there is of course a clear link between autism and trans/nonbinary identities, but as a parent it would annoy me to have this assumed already at this age for my ND child.

If you are reviewing the book, why can't you ask what the purpose of this approach is and what the purpose is in general based on your examples.