Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to go to my brothers graduation ceremony?

237 replies

Whitelilacs · 13/05/2024 12:26

My brother is a bit of a perpetual student but this graduation means a lot to him.

However it’s on my daughter’s first birthday. I could get over that as her little party will be at the weekend but it’s my last week of maternity leave and I had a little class I went to with her and her brother and I don’t want to miss the last one.

It’s not a good enough reason, is it? No other family who could go so he does want me there.

OP posts:
Bigearringsbigsmile · 13/05/2024 12:57

I can't believe you're considering not going. Your poor brother. I presume you do love him?

Greywitch2 · 13/05/2024 12:56

So other people's reasons to not be able to go are acceptable? But yours isn't?

It's entirely up to you. I'm not that thrilled by Baby's 1st Birthday, given that they don't know it is, and would prefer to go the graduation, although I get that missing the class would be disappointing.

But if you would rather not, then don't. It's not obligatory. You just say to him, 'I'm really sorry, but I've already got something on that day. I won't be able to come'.

x2boys · 13/05/2024 12:54

Well you don't have to go
But if you are close to your brother and he wants you there ,personally I would go.

drusth · 13/05/2024 12:54

It is a faff because I’ll have to put DS in preschool an extra day then have DD in the ceremony with me and organise for PIL to pick DS up and they live a good hour away so they’ll do it but will moan a bit!

Why are you even contemplating this?

Don't let him hijack your last week!

Did family attend his first degree graduation?

Original poster
Whitelilacs · 13/05/2024 12:53

No, there’s no one else who can go. It’s not his fault obviously it’s just typical of him!

OP posts:
drusth · 13/05/2024 12:53

YANBU, just say you have non refundable tickets and can't make it.

vivainsomnia · 13/05/2024 12:52

Who would be going? It's normally to places per graduate. If your brother only has you and another family member who can go, then yes, you should. If however both your parents can go, it would make sense for them to go before you anyway.

Original poster
Whitelilacs · 13/05/2024 12:51

I know @toomuchfaff , it’s just that I want to make the most of every one (selfish I know but we can’t go next year as doesn’t fall on my days off.)

It is a faff because I’ll have to put DS in preschool an extra day then have DD in the ceremony with me and organise for PIL to pick DS up and they live a good hour away so they’ll do it but will moan a bit!

I know … I have to, it’s just such a pain!

OP posts:
umami89 · 13/05/2024 12:48

Wdym 'perpetual student'?
If it's the first degree of its level fair enough but I wouldn't be bothered otherwise.

toomuchfaff · 13/05/2024 12:44

Agree with both posters above. I was with you right up until you said you were the only family representative. As for the class; you can always say your goodbyes and the one the week before?

Waterlooville · 13/05/2024 12:34

I was with you until you said he'd have noone else to be there for him. I think you need to go.

thanKyouaIMee · 13/05/2024 12:32

Ooo it's a tough one.

If he has zero other family going and you're his last hope of having someone there, I'd really try to go. In your brothers shoes I might be hurt that you wanted to go to a baby group instead.

Is there no way with timings you could do both events? Or could someone take your DD to the class?

Swipe left for the next trending thread