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Original poster

Could my adult son really have ADHD?

91 replies

ADHDposs · 12/05/2024 21:02

Hi all. Posting here for traffic.

I have a son who is 28. He is just lovely, such a good man. He’s incredibly brainy. Has a Masters degree in a complicated subject. He has a very technical job. He also has a lovely girlfriend and is doing very well in life.

The last time we met up for dinner, he told me he’d been seeing a therapist, because he felt he had personality traits which were annoying him. I was quite shocked as this is the first I’ve heard of it. Anyway, he then went on to say that the therapist said he ticks a lot of ADHD boxes and she’s going to arrange an assessment.

I was quite shocked as he was an entirely normal child. The only thing I have noticed which seems out of step with other people, is that he is an information sponge. He reads all the time and retains thousands of facts. When we meet I often feel like I’m just being bombarded with facts about anything and everything, often things that have no relevance to me. I try to change the conversation to things more relevant or fun, but before long he is finding some way to turn that into some kind of statistic he can tell me about.

Is this an ADHD trait?

Thanks for reading!

OP posts:
titchy · 12/05/2024 22:02

ADHDposs · 12/05/2024 21:23

Thanks. I didn’t say anything about him being a normal child. I did say that he’s amazing whatever label anyone puts on him. I have some OCD traits but I do not label myself, I just get on with life.

Yes you did. You said he was a normal child in the second paragraph of your OP.

Sometimeswinning · 12/05/2024 22:00

Honestly if look into it enough I have adhd. Oh and my dds probably do. Because people can’t have certain quirks or behaviour anymore. It has to have a label. That label is always adhd and here is some medication which you pay for monthly to help.

If it makes ds happy then leave him with it. Your example doesn’t scream adhd to me though.

PointWriter · 12/05/2024 22:00

I was diagnosed as autistic in my 30s.

My mother took it negativity because (I think) she felt guilty that she hadn't realised I needed support. Instead I was a 'bad' child.

My life was hell at school, I struggled with so many things. She would shout and scream in frustration at me.

It must be hard as a parent to realise your adult child isn't neurotypical.

Just be supportive to him, as I'm sure you are; sounds like he's doing really well to be self reflective and seek support.

Winetastingtimewasting · 12/05/2024 21:58

You describe him as lovely
often adhd are lovely , sometimes people pleasers
often highly empathetic
often fixed on a subject, then the next, then the next
often ‘ scatty’ forget important dates
loose things
interrupt
struggle with a sense of rejection (‘rejection sensitivity disorder)
sometimes sensitive sensory wise

SoupDragon · 12/05/2024 21:58

fairymary87 · 12/05/2024 21:53

Why don't you research it, instead of asking Mumsnet.

No one is going to accuse you of being a bad mum for missing out.

Why do people post shit like this?

Why not ask Mumsnet? There's a load of people with real life experience of this sort of thing.

fairymary87 · 12/05/2024 21:53

Why don't you research it, instead of asking Mumsnet.

No one is going to accuse you of being a bad mum for missing out.

Original poster
ADHDposs · 12/05/2024 21:51

I did not say that there is anything wrong with it. I am looking to find out whether the fact finding and telling me facts all the time is something to do with ADHD.

OP posts:
dizzydizzydizzy · 12/05/2024 21:38

ADHDposs · 12/05/2024 21:23

Thanks. I didn’t say anything about him being a normal child. I did say that he’s amazing whatever label anyone puts on him. I have some OCD traits but I do not label myself, I just get on with life.

ADHD is a diagnosis not a label. I'm sure your son will get in with life, whether he has a diagnosis or not.

I recently has an autism diagnosis. I am still getting on with life as normal but it has been a great relief because it has explained a lot of things.

I know this has come as a shock but there is nothing wrong with having an ADHD diagnosis.

Original poster
ADHDposs · 12/05/2024 21:25

Sapphire387 · 12/05/2024 21:16

My mum reacted in the same way when I was diagnosed (at 35). Please be cautious - I found it quite hurtful when my mum was saying things about me being a 'normal' child (she also used that word), and it took her a while to believe me and accept the diagnosis.

Yes, he could have ADHD. It's not always obvious to other people, and several people expressed surprise when I told them.

How does this affect you, if you don’t mind me asking?

OP posts:
Original poster
ADHDposs · 12/05/2024 21:23

Thanks. I didn’t say anything about him being a normal child. I did say that he’s amazing whatever label anyone puts on him. I have some OCD traits but I do not label myself, I just get on with life.

OP posts:
Blueberry40 · 12/05/2024 21:19

In answer to your question op, yes that can be an adhd trait. Hyper fixating on specific topics is common, as is information dumping. Unless you know and understand the myriad of ways that adhd can present itself, there is no reason why you would have picked up on it during childhood.

Individuals with adhd can often be very good at masking to try and fit in with the world around them, so it’s not unusual for people to go undiagnosed until they reach adulthood.

Sapphire387 · 12/05/2024 21:16

My mum reacted in the same way when I was diagnosed (at 35). Please be cautious - I found it quite hurtful when my mum was saying things about me being a 'normal' child (she also used that word), and it took her a while to believe me and accept the diagnosis.

Yes, he could have ADHD. It's not always obvious to other people, and several people expressed surprise when I told them.

Original poster
ADHDposs · 12/05/2024 21:06

That made me laugh. I get what you were saying, that it is not uncommon to be diagnosed in adult hood.

OP posts:
ICanFixHim · 12/05/2024 21:05

I give up. 😄😄

ICanFixHim · 12/05/2024 21:05

Sorry sausage fingers...
Impossible to say based on what you've said here but the therapist has clearly picked up on something.

It's not at all unusual to get to adulthood before any

ICanFixHim · 12/05/2024 21:04

Absolutely impossible to say based on what t

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