Could my adult son really have ADHD?

I was just about to say something similar. I read a post on Instagram saying ‘the parent who doesn’t see your neurodivergent traits as anything unusual is the parent you inherited them from’. This really struck home for me.

We are in the USA. My second child went off to uni and 6 months later asked if she could be tested for ADHD. I was also surprised but she told me the new close friends she had made had similar traits and struggles to her and they all had ADHD.

So she had a thorough workup and hours of testing with a psychologist, and she was found to need help in some very specific areas. She wasn't found to have any learning difficulties and had high intelligence. However the psychologist showed us that when she was tested on reading comprehension, if she was allowed as much time as she needed she achieved a very high score; but if she was on a tight time frame she made a lot more mistakes. So she needs more time to pour over information in certain forms to really understand and comprehend it. Also that she is an auditory learner and understands much quicker that way.
So she now has access at her university to student support services and can take her tests and exams in a controlled environment alone where she is given extra time for reading and comprehension. She also can borrow a device which takes notes for her so she can listen to the lectures and not be distracted by writing. She is also a very bright student and studies neurobiology. She is an interesting combo of glam and loves to do anything for fun with a love for STEM and is highly nerdy.

In fact she tested extremely high on her writing ability which annoyed her as her favorite subject is math.

She also did have low self esteem and could struggle socially because of it but has really come into her own at uni. She always seemed emotionally a bit slower to pick up of social cues and also didn't understand the often female form of aggression or conflict which involves social exclusion. She just seems completely mystified by it when she was a younger teen.

So her diagnosis has not only meant she is able to achieve her potential but has improved her self esteem as sometimes she didn't understand why she would struggle with subjects she really enjoyed.

You can
a) repeat the one ADHD stereotype that you are aware of, and also
b) believe the condition itself is largely made up label as a crutch for bad behaviour (paraphrasing your own words here)

The two are not mutually exclusive, in fact, to apply it to another example , one can
a) repeat the symptoms of Long Covid, and also
b) believe the condition itself is made up as a crutch for a lazy arse who wants to sleep and watch Netflix all day while claiming benefits instead of working

by The sounds of it, it may help to learn more about
INATTENTIVE ADHD - also known as ADD

Often Neurodivergent parents think a child is normal as they themselves have the ND traits so perceive that to be usual/normal/neurotypical.

This may contribute to the late diagnosis of Neurodivergent adults.

Please be careful how you converse with your child so this doesn't impact the relationship you have.

My DD1 was diagnosed early 20s. I have 2 younger and I see the signs in them much more clearly. To me my children are all 'normal' as I had no other frame of reference as when you talk to other parents about situations/behaviour, they can always relate.

ADHD affects executive functioning and is understandably different for each individual that has it.
In our experience, diagnosis just gives you the label, you're still left with having to find all the support you need for the individual symptoms that are causing problems, albeit with a better understanding of where to look and what might help.

Make your mind up. I didn’t believe in it in your last post. Now I recognise 1 stereotype.

These are the most obvious, in your face you wrongly assumed I wouldn’t recognise.

Ive also shown you that I do “believe” in ADHD. It makes no odds to me how you were diagnosed. If you needed that then fair play.

Does not mean you are right in your assumptions. If anything you were pretty ignorant.

I work with children with ADHD and the condition isn't always "constantly on the go" or "unable to sit still". One of the quietest, most 'sit still' children I've ever met has a diagnosis of ADHD. There are subtypes of ADHD and the whole bouncing off the walls stereotype helps no one.

It isn't a label and it isn't about medication, not everyone with ADHD will need medication or indeed want medication, it's not a one size fits all diagnosis.

As for it being used as a crux to explain behaviour, the assessment process is rather robust and ADHD tends to be under-diagnosed in the UK.

Where is it you're "seeing ADHD everyday"? I hope to goodness it's not in a professional capacity as you clearly don't know your arse from your elbow when it comes to neurodevelopment conditions.

Yes this can be an ADHD trait. ADHDers tend to be quick thinking and fast at grasping the bigger picture. So when others are rambling on, ADHDers have already a) worked out the point the other person is getting to and b) formulated their response.

The info dumping described in your OP would be more associated with ASD though. But there’s not enough to go on, from what you’ve put here.

😆 I definitely have ADHD (diagnosed when I was seeing a psychiatrist for something else so didn’t go looking for a diagnosis ) and I wasn’t like that as a school girl at all. All you seem to know is one stereotype.

Please stop using the word 'normal'. It's one of those weird words where no one wants to be 'normal' and no one wants to be 'abnormal'. It's bad either way.

I think ‘normal’ is complex when it comes from a parent. My sister and I both got diagnosed with ADHD and Autism as adults. My parents thought we were normal as they have some clear ND traits. We were also adopted, which clouds things somewhat as it’s always a ‘is this an adoption thing?’ that pops up. Equally, a parent’s view is based on their experience. A child may well have seemed very normal because they are their parent’s experience. Or because their needs were met easily (eg. A very active ADHD child leading a very active lifestyle).

I’m very like your son with facts and talking. I noticed little things with my own son - things like a messy room, putting everything where he can see it, emotional dysregulation, terrible sleeper, over worries, always fiddling and wriggling etc. He has meltdowns at a later age than you’d expect and can display some difficult behaviour, but to most he appears incredibly normal. I don’t think the majority of those with ADHD appear noticeably ‘different’ in general to others, though when you get used to it, you can certainly start to spot things. A lot of traits are written off as someone being ‘fiery’ or a ‘daydreamer’ or ‘really clever’, so when that happens they become a part of normal and aren’t easily recognised as being neurodiverse as such.

Feel
free
to in box me
xx

Certainly could be, OP. I was diagnosed in my 30’s. My Mum couldn’t get her head around it at all at first but I think her idea of ADHD in her mind was so far from the reality. Maybe ask him to chat to you about it, if he’s happy to?

And just like autism,
people can all
share the same
human experiences,
but it’s to the extent that they impact that makes them
an impairment , medically speaking … and an intrinsic part of a person,
not an ‘add on’
they are not a person who ‘ has’
got something ‘ they are that person

You’re kidding! I see adhd everyday. I recognise it and see how it is just impossible for children with adhd to sit still, not be distracted and be constantly on the go.

I also see parents insisting their child has it when it’s just a crux for them to explain away behaviour.

Just because the diagnoses is so big now and so wide spread does not mean everyone has it and needs the label or the medication. Sorry you don’t like my answer but don’t jump to assumptions so quickly.

https://adhduk.co.uk/adult-adhd-screening-survey/

You sound very dismissive of everyone with an ADHD diagnosis. It Is thought to be caused by actual physical differences in the brain. It is a useful diagnosis that only highly trained professionals can provide, not a label.

Having adhd does not make you abnormal. I think it is wonderful he has decided to get himself diagnosed, not labelled as most ignorant people refer it to, and for him to work out in himself why he has felt different all his life because we do feel different all our lives and getting a diagnosis, in lots of cases, can be a wonderful thing.

The jumping around between subjects in a conversation is an ADHD trait.
Your son may have ADHD. The stereotype of an ADHD boy is a very high energy boy with no impulse control that is constantly in trouble, can’t sit still and so on. But not everyone with ADHD experiences hyperactivity of the body, many experience it internally by their brains going non stop.

Moves from hobby to hobby
new skill to new skill
often task unfinished
messy
procrastinates
often shows understanding by giving an example of a time when they were
in a similar situation

Based on your post even the most severe ADHD wouldn’t scream ADHD to you You quite obviously think ADHD doesn’t exist.