Otherhalf asking parents to temporarily move in?

He is the ultimate cheeky fucker! How dare he assume you will do this? You would have to give up work. Can you afford that? Not only that, your home would be completely squashed. And then you would be looking after his parents when you haven't even been asked? Honestly I would be livid and I would completely refuse to do it.

This. And it’s so unprofessional—leaving these working parents in the lurch when we all know that there is a shortage of childcare at the moment. Once you’re in a position to ramp bak up with childminding, your clients will have new provisions in place and your reputational damage for dropping clients on short notice will be done.

How can you do your job childminding and look after his parents at the same time? He didn’t respect you or your work. Tell him no to them moving in.

He's volunteered you to give up your job to care for his parents in your home and not even consulted you about it. What the fuck is he thinking.

Sorry but how would you look after children if you also had 2 elderly people in the house?!

What if his parents had a fall or medical emergency, would you just be expected to leave the children alone to deal with it?

Not a chance in hell would I leave my children with childminder in this scenario. Especially with the addition of an unknown male, DBS or not.

You need to put your foot down and say it can't work for you. He can move in there, I bet he won't though.

He is upset🤷. He should have discussed this major decision with you first. He is showing massive disrespect for you and shows he simply takes you granted. I'd tell him no because it doesn't work for you because you work from home with DC and need the space for them. If they have toys on the floor what would happen if this elderly parent tripped over them. Your partner invites them he needs to be home running after and caring for them.

He needs to sort out care at their own home or residential care. Just say no.

If he wants to help his parents I would be suggesting he moves in with them. Categorically state what he has proposed will not work and cannot happen.

Doesn’t sound like it works for anyone? They will be surely driven mad by kids all day and you in an impossible position unable to properly work?

As a side note I wouldn’t be happy as a parent to send my child to a setting with dependent elderly people in the care of the person looking after my child simultaneously. Nor would I want my child feeling “hushed” and tiptoeing round in that setting which I imagine is what would have to happen?

I’d also be wary there was no end point to them ever moving back out?

Plus the knock on implications for bills, council tax or the mortgage (you need to declare longer term lodgers). I’m horrified for you that your DP didn’t run this by you first?!

@Fafreak this would certainly not be happening on my watch!! how is proposing to care for them while you work??? are you actually married? if he proposes to pay you the full wages of what you would normally earn would you do it?? I certainly wouldnt. this is just the thin end of the wedge. if one of them passes away then you will be left looking after the other one too!

Just say no it doesn't work for you.

Tell him not to be so bloody ridiculous! If needs must he can go live with them for a while.

This is a plan with so many flaws it's laughable.

And also insulting to you that he you could and should look after his parents while you are working.

Why doesn't he take them with him to work?

Don't see how this can work.

You have a business you run from home which is not compatible with taking care of elderly people.

I would ask what is he expecting but I think he probably doesn't care.

Nip this in the bud - it sounds completely unworkable. He needs to go there and provide the care himself or do what other people do - employ carers. Absolutely do NOT agree to this.

If you would have done it if he had asked and I guess he knew you would why is it suddenly a big deal. Seems like he knows you well.

You need to say no-you can’t care for them plus work at home, it’s impossible. How old are they? What’s wrong with them? Might they move in and not ever leave?

Surely you can't care for them and do your job effectively. If you were minding my young child I'd be concerned if I learned you had parents moving in who required care from you.

As others have said, it's bad enough he offered without consulting you, but to assume you'll do the caring too is a step too far. My husband always assumed that because I was wfh I could do everything house related "because I was there". Used to really piss me off.

Don't be steamrolled or guilted into doing this OP.

Totally incompatible with your job. Does he not see your job as a proper business but rather something to keep you busy until he comes home? The DBS issue helps here too. Of course you will support him going to stay with them and maybe if his job is suitable he can talk to his work and wfh.

Surely if they are around in the day they need DBS checking if near the children. How can you look after them in the day when you are being paid to look after someone’s children who need constant supervision. What answers has he come up with?

You have a job. You’re a child minder.

Have you asked him how he’s going to care for them?

Ask him how he'd feel if you suggested your parents move in and he cared for them. I'm guessing he wouldn't be too happy?

Stand firm OP. It's completely unreasonable for him to expect this.

He assuming you’ll be happy for them to move in and is assuming you’ll be looking after them?

That’s a lot of assuming. He’s being the wonderful son by offering an amazing solution whereby they do t happy to worry any more as they’ll be cared for, but not appreciating that he’s offering your services not his!

Unless things have changed from situations I have been aware of, taking them in for a while will possibly make it much more difficult for them to get help at home, it could be assumed that family are always at hand and no extra help is needed.