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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be concerned about this joke?

55 replies

Happydontiknowit · 12/05/2024 19:56

Preface: I’m pregnant and very hormonal so there’s a chance I’m being sensitive, please tell me if so!

DH was on his way to work earlier. I called through to the kitchen, ‘oh, I forgot to take the bin out, would you mind?’

He replied, ‘yeah, don’t worry, already on it’. I went into the kitchen to get my glass of water as he was putting the liner out the bin and I said, ‘I’ve just been shoving the stuff down all day, hope it wasn’t too messy’

He smiled and just said ‘I’ll add it to the divorce list’

He was smiling/laughing while saying it but neither of us has ever joked about divorce before or anything like it. He does always banter about other things as he’s that kind of person who doesn’t take himself too seriously but it really caught me off guard. I asked him why he said it and he hugged me and said he was joking and sorry for the bad joke.

AIBU to still think it was weird to say?

OP posts:
MistyGreenAndBlue · 12/05/2024 20:48

Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 12/05/2024 20:44

Very outing... however I once got upset because my hormones needed to be annoyed but I couldn't find anything to be upset about. So in my desperation I called my friend moaning how Mr bloody perfect has not done anything to annoy me. I then got worked up cos she said 'isn't that a good thing'
In that moment I hated him and her.
He then popped his head through the door saying 'I don't fancy cooking tonight, fancy a chinese' (my fave takeout'
Never hated him so much!
I laugh about it now. He 10 years on is still smug his hormonal partner couldn't find anything to moan about!

Heat and hormones, he could have asked you if you wanted ice in your water and you would still have thought he said something wrong.

Maybe tell him that being pregnant you are sensitive so may need to be careful about divorce jokes.

Hope you are ok OP

You sound like me 🤣. Husbands should have the decency to be annoying twats when we are hormonal and need a good rage.

Mind you, I can normally find SOMETHING to whinge about 😂😂

WhatFlavourIsIt · 12/05/2024 20:48

I've said similar to my husband. I have no plans to divorce him, but it really gets on my tits when he continues to push the rubbish down in a clearly full bin.

MonsteraMama · 12/05/2024 20:46

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 12/05/2024 20:26

Not the point of the thread I know but it shouldn’t it a done deal that he takes the bins out. Surely a pregnant woman shouldn’t be dragging heavy bins down paths.

Oh shut up, she's pregnant not dying. Illness and unusually high risk pregnancy notwithstanding pregnant women can crack on as normal for the most part. I was mucking my horse out and shifting straw bales about until the week before I went into labour.

Don't worry OP, you'll laugh about this once your hormones have chilled out!

ZekeZeke · 12/05/2024 20:44

Change the locks, he is a monster

Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 12/05/2024 20:44

Very outing... however I once got upset because my hormones needed to be annoyed but I couldn't find anything to be upset about. So in my desperation I called my friend moaning how Mr bloody perfect has not done anything to annoy me. I then got worked up cos she said 'isn't that a good thing'
In that moment I hated him and her.
He then popped his head through the door saying 'I don't fancy cooking tonight, fancy a chinese' (my fave takeout'
Never hated him so much!
I laugh about it now. He 10 years on is still smug his hormonal partner couldn't find anything to moan about!

Heat and hormones, he could have asked you if you wanted ice in your water and you would still have thought he said something wrong.

Maybe tell him that being pregnant you are sensitive so may need to be careful about divorce jokes.

Hope you are ok OP

MistyGreenAndBlue · 12/05/2024 20:43

I often tell DH "you can be replaced, you know?"
He knows it's a joke. This sounds to be along the same lines. I wouldn't read anything into it.

Cuckoochanel80 · 12/05/2024 20:42

Bumblebeeinatree · 12/05/2024 20:30

I think dropping the D word into any conversation is not OK particularly if your wife is pregnant. I assume just a joke but really not ok.

I agree it's not really what I'd want to joke about when pregnant, hormonal and already feeling vulnerable, no.

monicagellerbing · 12/05/2024 20:40

Ffs

FawnFrenchieMum · 12/05/2024 20:39

It’s a joke DH & use, we’ve been married 19 years so far so not another to worry about IMO.

We also joke we’re still married as we made a pact who ever leaves first has to take the kids with them.

Both harmless jokes.

Asterales · 12/05/2024 20:35

I agree with the pp who say you'll look back on this and laugh. Pregnancy hormones plus heat are quite a combination, just drink lots of fluids and take it easy!!

Winnading · 12/05/2024 20:32

crumbpet · 12/05/2024 20:00

I’ve just been shoving the stuff down all day, hope it wasn’t too messy’ I would be seething. So you've not emptied it ALL day and just kept adding to it? Why?!!!

Huh? Does everyone empty the kitchen bin every day?

What the hell do you put in it?

Bumblebeeinatree · 12/05/2024 20:30

I think dropping the D word into any conversation is not OK particularly if your wife is pregnant. I assume just a joke but really not ok.

McFuckers · 12/05/2024 20:29

Oh bless you. He sounds really lovely, and it was definitely 100% an innocent joke.

Agree with a PP, you will think back and laugh one day 😁

UnderMyUmbrellaEllaEllaEllaEllaElla · 12/05/2024 20:28

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 12/05/2024 20:26

Not the point of the thread I know but it shouldn’t it a done deal that he takes the bins out. Surely a pregnant woman shouldn’t be dragging heavy bins down paths.

Have I just gone back 200 years?

I was pumping heavy weights a week or so before I gave birth.

She's pregnant...that's all.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 12/05/2024 20:26

Not the point of the thread I know but it shouldn’t it a done deal that he takes the bins out. Surely a pregnant woman shouldn’t be dragging heavy bins down paths.

Didimum · 12/05/2024 20:22

crumbpet · 12/05/2024 20:17

Then ask him to empty it when it's first full. Otherwise you're basically knowingly making it worse. It's lazy.

Show quote history

I always shove the rubbish down to squeeze more in. And I never do the bins, my DH does. Quick, better call disease control.

Why on earth co you care about someone else’s bins??

Didimum · 12/05/2024 20:20

Definitely just a joke, OP.

Original poster
Happydontiknowit · 12/05/2024 20:19

crumbpet · 12/05/2024 20:17

Then ask him to empty it when it's first full. Otherwise you're basically knowingly making it worse. It's lazy.

Show quote history

Thank you for that. It wasn’t the point of my post though.

OP posts:
crumbpet · 12/05/2024 20:17

Happydontiknowit · 12/05/2024 20:02

I usually empty it long before that point but I’ve felt under the weather today so haven’t. That’s why

Show quote history

Then ask him to empty it when it's first full. Otherwise you're basically knowingly making it worse. It's lazy.

HoneyChilliChicken · 12/05/2024 20:14

YABU OP.

StarbucksQueen1 · 12/05/2024 20:13

Yeah it’s a joke. You’re being sensitive.

TheAceWoman · 12/05/2024 20:12

I think he probably meant it was no big deal, hardly grounds for divorce.

AuroraAnimal · 12/05/2024 20:11

It was just a joke, I really don't think you have any reason to be concerned based just on that.

It's the type of comment dh and I make to each other often. Along with 'oh wow, this must have taken you hours!' (dh to me on getting home from work and seeing our bedroom which I'd seriously deep cleaned and de-cluttered). Then me: 'well there was no way I was inviting my Steve into this room until it was sorted'.

SillyLittleWoman · 12/05/2024 20:07

You're being overly insensitive. But you're forgiven for your hormones! Its nothing to get worked up about, promise.

I remember constantly being shitty with people if my food or drinks weren't just the right temperature, even if it wasn't them that prepared or served it. It just put me in an irrationally grumpy mood. I practically had a breakdown when I was delivered an Indian takeaway that wasn't lava hot.

I sound like such an insufferable entitled brat...but that's not the real me. Far from it. I hate bratty attitudes. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to fight those god awful hormonal urges and stop being such a twat.

Those pregnancy hormones are bastards, OP. Don't listen to them. It was just a lighthearted silly joke and nothing more.

Muffin101 · 12/05/2024 20:03

Oh dear. In the nicest possible way, get a grip 🤣

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