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Original poster

Why are you married?

256 replies

Aquarius1234 · 12/05/2024 13:05

Why did you bother getting married?

Do you feel one or both of you are insecure hense the marriage?

Do you feel superior to those in long term relationships but not married?

OP posts:
Notreat · 12/05/2024 13:48

Aquarius1234 · 12/05/2024 13:14

I have often felt that vibe. Everyone knows the type of people I'm talking about.

Show quote history

I have no idea which type of people you are talking about.
I married because I wanted to. Either get married or don't, it's not really a big deal to anyone other than the individuals concerned

SaulHudsonDavidJones · 12/05/2024 13:48

Aquarius1234 · 12/05/2024 13:26

We could talk about Men with wedding bands all day long. Or that like multiple marriages.

So weird. This is definitely your problem, not married people. I barely wear my rings so don't look married anyway. My husband always wears his. I imagine IRL people who know you think you're bitter and insecure.

Mothership4two · 12/05/2024 13:48

Aquarius1234 · 12/05/2024 13:46

Am I right in thinking being married is more on the Conservative side.
( don't follow politics)

Are you trying to wind people up?

Not in my case, but, like you, I don't follow politics either.

trainboundfornowhere · 12/05/2024 13:46

Legally it firmed up my position in DH life. A friend of my father died of stomach cancer at 52. He and his partner never married and nor did they write a will and even though nobody else made a claim on his estate it took over a year for it all to get settled.

Original poster
Aquarius1234 · 12/05/2024 13:46

Am I right in thinking being married is more on the Conservative side.
( don't follow politics)

OP posts:
DanielGault · 12/05/2024 13:45

Aquarius1234 · 12/05/2024 13:27

So many reasons that aren't romantic.

We got married for our daughter and for tax. Tiny wedding, legal stuff sorted in case of the worst

YaWeeFurryBastard · 12/05/2024 13:45

Isitisit · 12/05/2024 13:42

I wanted to feel able to make decisions based on what was best for us as a family rather than each of us individually.

For example, when our child is born, I will take the full years maternity leave and might go back on 4 days a week if we feel that will work best for our family. If I wasn’t married I would be more insistent about us taking equal time off, making sure that I am not the one taking a bigger career hit as I would not have any legal protection if we were to break up.

Also this, we’re TTC and I want to enjoy my maternity leave knowing DH has my back financially (legally, not just with words) and be able to go part time to look after our (hopefully) future family.

Needmorelego · 12/05/2024 13:45

@Aquarius1234 why do strangers need to know if you are available or unavailable?
Why is it their business?
I mean if someone flirts/asks you out or whatever you'd just tell them "I'm married/in a relationship".

SaulHudsonDavidJones · 12/05/2024 13:45

Married because we wanted to. I don't feel superior because I couldn't care less about other people's marital status. Why would I waste a second thinking about it.

Mothership4two · 12/05/2024 13:44

Aquarius1234 · 12/05/2024 13:27

So many reasons that aren't romantic.

Well life's complicated isn't it? There are lots of reasons why we do things. I doubt marriage was invented for romantic reasons. A marriage certificate is a legal document.

However, most people I know got married primarily because they loved each other at the time.

UnctuousUnicorns · 12/05/2024 13:43

Why aren't you married (assuming you have a SO), OP? Do you think you're so liberated and forward thinking, cocking a snook at The Establishment? Do you look down your nose on us dull, conformist sheep who think a piece of paper is so important to our relationship? 🤷‍♀️

Btw I don't really want to know, just throwing your questions back at you.

Hermittrismegistus · 12/05/2024 13:43

Perhaps I'm curious why the young generation do it. Each to their own..
I thought it would die out

Why would it die out? Throughout history and across many different cultures there have always been ways for a couple to formalise their relationship in the eyes of their community.

Isitisit · 12/05/2024 13:42

I wanted to feel able to make decisions based on what was best for us as a family rather than each of us individually.

For example, when our child is born, I will take the full years maternity leave and might go back on 4 days a week if we feel that will work best for our family. If I wasn’t married I would be more insistent about us taking equal time off, making sure that I am not the one taking a bigger career hit as I would not have any legal protection if we were to break up.

Original poster
Aquarius1234 · 12/05/2024 13:42

Wasn't wearing wedding rings a way of showing strangers you are unavailable.
Without having to say anything.
Apart from those that have affairs of course.

OP posts:
Spendonsend · 12/05/2024 13:42

I wanted the benefits of the legal contract.

YaWeeFurryBastard · 12/05/2024 13:41

Because I love my husband very deeply and it was important to both of us to be a legal family unit and make an active commitment to our relationship.

Neither of us are insecure, what a bizarre comment, the most insecure relationships I know are unfortunately when one of the couple (usually the woman) wants to get married and the other doesn’t.

I don’t “feel superior” at all but I do wonder why/feel sad for people (again unfortunately usually women) who stay with people who don’t want to marry them, when they want that. If neither party wants to get married then good for them, but my overwhelming experience is usually the woman does deep down or is making herself financially vulnerable.

LetsGoRoundTheRoundabout · 12/05/2024 13:40

Aquarius1234 · 12/05/2024 13:27

So many reasons that aren't romantic.

Well, yes. Marriage isn’t just romantic. It’s a legal contract with major financial implications. Not to be entered in to lightly!

Surprisedbuthappy · 12/05/2024 13:39

Aquarius1234 · 12/05/2024 13:34

Wedding rings.

Show quote history

What about them? They're just a piece of jewellery. Some people wear them and others don't. Some people have their ears pierced and others don't! 🤷🏻‍♀️

WalkingonWheels · 12/05/2024 13:38

Because we wanted to.

Original poster
Aquarius1234 · 12/05/2024 13:37

Tagyoureit · 12/05/2024 13:28

Should we have asked your permission first?
Is this the new thing to be offended by? Others being married?

What an utterly bizarre thread!

If you know people that grate on you or make you feel inferior, I strongly suggest getting some new people in your life.

Thanks for the laugh. I like your humour.
Your right it could be the new thing to be offended by.
Perhaps I'm curious why the young generation do it. Each to their own..
I thought it would die out.

OP posts:
LetsGoRoundTheRoundabout · 12/05/2024 13:37

Aquarius1234 · 12/05/2024 13:14

I have often felt that vibe. Everyone knows the type of people I'm talking about.

Show quote history

Those people will always find a way to feel superior to others, it’s nothing to do with marriage.

obsessedwithfreshbread · 12/05/2024 13:36

Financial reasons
If anything happens to him, his pension stops unless married on last day in service (to the same wife at death!) being married gives me a spousal pension which in turn will be used to support his children. They'd get nothing otherwise.
We only found out a few weeks before he "retired" so we booked the first available slot at the registry office for £50!!
Plus he's a pretty decent guy! Wink

OnehundredStars · 12/05/2024 13:36

Sorry the reason why - I didn’t want kids outside of marriage and didn’t want to be used by a man

OnehundredStars · 12/05/2024 13:35

Did not want to live with anyone til I married and I didn’t live with dh until we married

in catholic but wasn’t really that although both of our parents wouldn’t really have liked it

regret it now though and think it would have been better to life together as I fell into a really old fashioned set up

Original poster
Aquarius1234 · 12/05/2024 13:34

Aquarius1234 · 12/05/2024 13:26

We could talk about Men with wedding bands all day long. Or that like multiple marriages.

Wedding rings.

OP posts: