Why are you married?

I’m not sure feeling “superior” is the right word. I think it depends on the long term relationship. Some you know neither are interested in being married. Others you know from talking them that to one of them (usually the woman) want to get married and the other is dragging their feel, promising to do it eventually or otherwise refusing. I do feel that my relationship is probably more secure and happier than theirs in those instances.

The opposite. By knowing we are married, I know I'm entitled, by law, to a better 50 50 starting point.

No. But having a shared mortgage, shared finances, a dog and shared friends helps prevent us splitting up (not that we've ever wanted to!)

Because administering an intestate person was difficult and we weren't ready to do a proper Will to work out childcare if we both died. By default we can now access eachothers money in death.

We expect to benefit from the combined inheritance tax threshold at some point.

We never wanted to get married when we saw it through the lens if romance. As soon as the financial benefits were clear, we did it. We didn't have a wedding, we didn't have guests. It is purely a financial decision.

Neither of us are jealous types or insecure and both are financially responsible. After 6 months we moved in together and a year later we bought a house. He put in 75% of the deposit and insisted that we would be joint tenants (equal ownership).

We are extremely happy and neither of us would tolerate a bad relationship (gambling, debts, cheating etc). We can both afford to walk away so there is no pressure to be together which I think makes for a low pressure, happy relationship.

I will sound smug and patronising here: when it's right and it's easy, it's so easy. Which makes it really hard to see people throw good after bad in a relationship.

Not really. I'm left of communism and also married.

I am married through personal choice. I found someone I loved above all others and married her. We have a beautiful child together. We have the legal protection of marriage. We're also both Christian and so marriage is important to us. I don't "look down" on people who aren't married, that is their choice as marriage is ours.

Love being married. Wanted big party and to hang out with all my favourites. Legal reasons helped too and we both wanted kids, i do love it that we all share the same name.

We were anti marriage for the first 10 years of our relationship. We didn't really see the point.
But we have never wanted kids and didn't want unnuanced people thinking that is in any way a reflection of our level of commitment to, and love for, one another. So we did it as a show of unity.
I also love that, once married, people can say "We've been invited for dinner at the Sloth's house", "We're having Christmas drinks with the Sloths" etc. Well, in my case they can, as I took my husband's name.
We're celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary next week!

In our circle we know:

• Married couples with kids
• Married couples without kids
• Unmarried couples with kids
• Divorced couples
• Couples where the wife took the husband's name
• Couples where the wife kept her own name
• People on second marriages

I'm not!

I was happy being unmarried for many years until a friend pointed out to me how stupid I was being financially. So we married and if we ever divorce I’ll now get half of our not inexpensive home.

No, but I do feel superior to people who start goady threads trying to shame people for making a personal decision about their own relationships! 🙄

And it's definitely not a Conservative thing!

Visa reasons only. Put me off marriage even more. I do understand the Financial and protection reasons some people have but it shouldn't need to be that way. The laws are ridiculous in mu opinion.

As a single childless older person who has read lots of mumsnet stories, i wouldn't advise any young woman who is going to live with a man and bear his child or children, to be anything but married, unless they are entirely financially secure in their own right.

So I can get my sexual needs met

I got married because I adored him, a baby was on the way and I wanted to. 30 years on I'm still happy to be married to him even if he does annoy me sometimes.

Why wouldn't anyone want to be married, it's the legal and financial aspects that I think become more important the older you get.

'One day you may meet someone and decide they are the right person and want to be married to them. And then you will know why.'

This comment does give the op's post some support on her smugness of others point.

Because we loved each other and wanted to make it a for life thing really! No I don’t feel superior, all of my single or non married friends lead much more exciting life’s than me (but I’m happy with my lot and lucky)

Ive nerver been married and i never want to be.
Its up to others what they want to do.
It goes against my religion.
Is it now 1 in every 4 marriages that end with divorce looking at mumsnet it looks like 1 in every 2.

I've never viewed getting or being married as a bother. I also don't think whether or not one feels young has anything to do with relationship status.

I'm married because my now-husband and I spent time talking about what we wanted for our future and those discussions led to discussing marriage. Same reason I have kids.

We weren't conservatives then nor are we conservatives now. We married as teenagers out of love and consideration of all the options before us. This is the one we wanted to have together.

Were either of us insecure? If I was insecure in my relationship then, I would not have married him then. While I've heard of people marrying to save a relationship, I genuinely do not understand what insecurity has to do with marriage or otherwise legally attaching yourself to another person. Even after discussing marriage and the future for months, I took a day to weigh pros and cons and different ways it could go when he proposed. I knew there were risks - I was a teenager, but I wasn't entirely foolish. I was as confident in that relationship as it was then and that choice as I think I could have been, and decades on, I view my decision to marry my husband as 100% the best choice I've ever made.

Do I view myself as superior to those unmarried in long term relationships? No. There are pros and cons either way. It's more important to be intentional and prepared for inevitable like death to protect one's loved ones than doing that one specific way.

Do I view it as an accomplishment to have been happily married for over 20 years and take some happiness and pride that I have a healthier marriage that outlasted those who taught me as a child that girls like me don't marry, shouldn't marry, shouldn't be dated, and a host of other vile things many disabled children to this day still sadly get told? Yes.

love and legal protection. I wouldn't want to have DC outside marriage. We didn't have a party and don't wear rings. Hth

We got married because we thought it was romantic and we love each other. Also the legal stuff making things easier if something happens to one of us. We got married ten years into the relationship and eloped so it was literally just about us.

I don't judge unmarried couples, I don't care what others do. Some people are always going to be judgey. I get judged for being married but having no kids (by choice). People are weird.

Loads of reasons. I was in love, wanted children, wanted to go on MAT leave, and reduce my working hours whilst my children were little, and I wanted the financial security being married offered during this time. I also wanted a wedding, a wedding dress, bridsemaids, a cake, a big party, a honeymoon. It really was one of the best days of my life. If not the best day. I don't wear a wedding ring, nor does my husband. Although we do have them. I didn't get married because I was insecure. I was and still am a great catch. I don't really think much about if other people are married or not to honest..it makes no difference to me.

That was meant to say getting married wasn't a bother 🤣

Because I wanted to

No

No