Why are you married?

I agree that the romance of weddings and the legal protection and benefits of marriage should be seperated.

Then we could have just signed the legal financial contract when we bought a house after around 2 years instead of wasting 10 years to realise the importance of marriage for financial reasons rather than our silly idea that it was just a romantic piece of paper.

Once we got rid of that notion we got married within a month.

I wanted children and I don't trust anyone enough to do that with them without a legal agreement in place that (at least in theory) gives me additional rights and protections if they fuck off leaving me holding the baby.

I am not a romantic person who believes love conquers all.

I don't care what other people do. I just advise them to know the facts of whatever choice they make and go in with their eyes wide open. And choose with their head not their heart.

It is sad to be financially depending on a partner though.

You're conflating several different things here.
Marriage definitely provides more security for the more vulnerable party.
It doesn't prevent splitting up - in fact, that's when being married comes in useful, as it results in a more equitable division of assets.

Whether 'those that aren't' need to worry depends on their life situation. No kids, or already have significant assets each... no problem.

Parents (usually women) giving up work to care for children are a different story. In the event of a split they'd only be entitled to half the house (if they're even on the mortgage - a surprising number aren't).
Either owner of a joint account is legally entitled to clean it out. If married, the total would be considered as the property of both parties, and has to be divided as the court decides.
CMS is a piddly amount, and the SAHP has no right to any of their partner's individual assets, including pension! A big one!

HTH.

We'd bought the house, and had the kids. So after 11 years together, we thought we might as well.

Because:

• we owned a property and getting divorced would have given us a legal basis for dividing that in the case of a split

• we operated as a partnership but our earning potential was going to put us into different tax brackets and so I wanted the flexibility to put savings in the most convenient name knowing they were a marital asset and actual ownership didn’t really matter

• I’m divorced and didn’t want that to be my marital status when doing things like credit checks

• we will likely one day breach the inheritance tax threshold so being married was sensible.

But mostly it was to give a legal basis for dividing assets if we ever split.

If I’m honest, mainly because it was the ‘done thing’ in our social circles. And we planned on having kids so I believed it made us feel more of a ‘family’ and more committed etc. I don’t feel superior to non married people and it wasn’t because one of us was insecure. Just a natural next step!

u ok hun?

I got married because I love him, he’s my partner in everything and we both wanted to get married.

Because he asked me 😆 Second marriage, I wouldn't really have been bothered if we hadn't have got married, but we love each other, have a child together and we wanted to make it official and it does makes us feel more like a family. Nothing to do with financial or legal reasons, just plain old romantic ones.

It’s not sad to be financially literate. I’m not naive enough to think most marriages last.

60's, and if you could convince them to marry I'd be very impressed , never have I met two more stubborn human beings! 😂 We've all tried to tell them, but they're adamant that they're fine as they are and have dealt with the legalities their own way.

financial and legal reasons
moving between countries and having children gets very complicated without.

Many women get married for financial security. Which is very sad IMO.

I have lived in my HA bungalow for 25 years now. DP moved in around 6 years ago (we'd been together since 2002), We had a Civil Partnership purely in order that he would have automatic right to remain in the bungalow if anything should happen to me.

This^
and no, I don’t feel superior towards anyone who is in long term relationship and not married but tbh I never ask people about this so in some cases I have no idea if they are married or not.

I got married because I wanted a wedding. I got divorced when I realised I wanted a partner.

No I don't feel more superior.
Married because we love each other and wanted to?

I'm very much leftwing in my politics. To me marriage is about giving your relationship legal status. Things like next of kin, inheritance, parental responsibility, property rights etc can all be sorted out separately, but it's complicated and marriage is much more convenient. I think it provides security for our children. I'm not sure I'd have been too bothered about getting married if we hadn't been planning on having kids.

If we ever became unhappy and wanted to divorce we both agree that two things might stop us from divorcing. One is only getting half of the house value as neither of us could afford a house in London with only half the value of our current house . Two is our children and the damage it might cause them.

Because I love him and choose to share my life and home. Financially it makes more sense for is to have the legal protection of marriage for both of is.

I don't feel superior but I do think it makes more sense.

I like wedding cake.

On a more serious note financial reasons obviously and now we are older and established it’s going to save money via inheritance tax.

I like wedding cake.

On a more serious note financial reasons obviously and now we are in older and established it’s going to save money via inheritance tax.

Tax and other financial/next of kin reasons.

Had civil partnerships been allowed when we got married, DP and I would have gone for that instead.

I like wedding cake.

On a more serious note financial reasons obviously and now we are in older and established it’s going to save a lot of inheritance tax.

I'm 33. I got married at 28 after being with my now DH for 10 years and after buying a house together. I wanted to get married prior to having children. I knew that I wanted to cut back on my hours at work or be a SAHM as it made sense to have some protection in place.

I've never seen an unmarried person be judged for it. So many people choose not to get married, if someone looked down on unmarried people then they would get neck ache!