Why are you married?

If I am honest in past I felt sorry for several women who were in LTR with children and it always slipped out or was palpable that they would have liked to have got married but the man did not. Outwardly you’d get the it’s just a piece of paper speech, but friends and family knew what had actually gone on.

I am generally pro-marriage but not in all cases. If you stand to lose more financially by marrying, I would advise not to for either side.
I also see no need to marry later in life after having had a family. It often just causes complications for dc.

Neither do we.

Because OH wanted to and I love him. It seemed the right thing to do (it was). Because the Forces were just not set up co-habiting couples back then. Because we were thinking about having children. Financial security. Because we'd spent 10 years basically living as a married couple anyway. Because it made our families and especially our parents happy (minor reason but was all part of it).

Incidentally neither OH or I wear our wedding rings ever.

I got married because I was in love and wanted to be a wife. For me, it was more for romantic and emotional reasons, rather than the legal side of things.

I don't care what other people choose to do or not to in their own relationships.

No, I don't feel like I'm better than people who aren't married, and I'm not insecure either. What an odd view to have

Neither DH or I wear wedding rings BTW... so odd thing to judge on.

Again, you’re not making sense. Wedding bands as in wedding rings, or wedding bands as in men in matching waistcoats playing ‘Rock the Boat’ in a function room? Either way, I’m not sure there’s a day’s worth of conversation.

I got married because it was expected of me, it was the only way my parents would ever be proud of me or think that I had ever achieved anything.

It was a complete disaster and bloody hard work to get divorced!

Sister didn't marry and still remains the apple of my parents eyes so 🤷🏼‍♀️

Should we have asked your permission first?
Is this the new thing to be offended by? Others being married?

What an utterly bizarre thread!

If you know people that grate on you or make you feel inferior, I strongly suggest getting some new people in your life.

Essentially we married for the legal reasons.
Who is that feels they are "superior" ?
If it's family just tell them to shut up.
Anyone else - how do they actually know?
I know many families where I just assumed the couple were married (been together years, mortgage, kids, dog etc) but it turned out they weren't.

No me neither.

We lived together for 10 years before we married and no-one looked down on us.

I married him for his money 😉

Because we wanted to be. Married three years after we met, now 25 years wed, only another 31 years to go before we match my parents' current record. 😅 Couldn't give a toss what others do.

I love my husband and he loves me, we wanted to make a commitment to one another, we wanted to celebrate and bring together our two massive families with a great big party, I wanted an excuse for a giant cake, take your pick.

Also more practically myself and our child have more legal protections should the worst happen.

I am not at all insecure and I don't think my husband is either, we're very happy together. I don't know anyone who got married due to insecurity, nor anyone who feels superior due to being married. My mam and dad are celebrating 50 years together soon and they never officially married. Their relationship is one of the strongest and most steadfast I know, I certainly don't feel better than them because I have a ring on my finger!

I have often felt that vibe. Everyone knows the type of people I'm talking about.

You feel that way because you are insecure.

Because we loved each other and, for us, marriage was the natural thing to do.

I don’t care what other people do.

Still crazy about that man.

Everyone? I have never met anyone like this. Perhaps you aren't married and that weird vibe is actually your own insecurity...

Weird questions! I'm married because I love my husband and he asked me and I wanted to marry him so I said yes! I couldn't care less about other people's civil status! (Unless they're deeply unhappy or in a DV situation, I don't mean to sound flippant about that.)

I honestly don’t know this type of person. Why would anyone judge such a thing?

I think your own insecurities are talking here. I don’t think most people have a dual track idea about superiority of longterm cohabiting vs marital relationships. We were together for almost 20 years before we married, and a good friend only recently said something that made me realise she didn’t know we’d married.

I got married because I love the man I married 20 years ago and we wanted to be married before we started a family plus the legal protection. No I don't feel superior to non married couples as it's none of my business

At the time, it was the only way for the Army to recognise a relationship. Giving rights to family accommodation l, death in service benefits, different allowances etc.
It also means DD is British by Birth, not British by Descent, which could have implications in the future for her.

And I kind of like him.

Why are you asking?

You sound petty and insecure yourself if the reasons you put forward for getting married are what you actually believe is why people do.

Do you feel superior to those you think NEED a spouse because you have decided you don't?

One day you may meet someone and decide they are the right person and want to be married to them. And then you will know why.

I am unmarried by choice for legal, romantic, financial and practical reasons.