Please tell me the joys you have of living alone

I left an abusive relationship when pregnant and although I don’t live ‘alone’ in the sense that I live with my child - I live with no partner and no other adults. The freedom is wonderful, I know I’m safe and can do what I want essentially without treading on eggshells in my own home.

I know this is not the point of your post, but you saying that he made you feel crazy when you knew he was cheating - my ex did the exact same. I got to the point where I collected ‘evidence’ to show him to prove that I wasn’t crazy and he still scoffed in my face and told me I was insane and going crazy and making it up to ‘accuse him’. I literally thought I was losing it, he really made me believe I had some undiagnosed mental disorder.

Are you in the same home that you endured the abuse in? If you are, as hard as it is, my advice would be to move and start fresh to enable you to heal. I initially still lived in the home after I left and it had so many negative memories attached to it that I constantly was triggered and it felt like I was stuck in a place where I was unable to heal. Since I moved, I could start ‘fresh’ and any memories made in my new home are positive without the cloud of trauma attached to it.

It may take time, to discover who you really are, without the shadow of anxiety and fear, caused by mood swings, the silent treatment and gas lighting.
But you will be able to breathe deeply in your new safe space and enjoy the peace and solitude and the simple pleasures of choosing how to spend your time, without having to second guess and tread on eggshells.

Doing what I want, when I want.
I have a little dog and she’s great company. All the company I need really.
what don’t I miss - picking up the dirty laundry, clearing up the kitchen, living room you name it. Place stays much tidier when you live on your own.
Embrace it and enjoy

It's a great opportunity to rediscover who you and what you like.

You can create a haven.

• Watch what you like on TV
• Decorate to your taste
• Sleep on whatever side of the bed you like (with NO snoring!)
• Kitchen is free to cook what you enjoy and clean when you want to
• Listen to your own music
• Invite who you like over
• Get a pet if you'd like one
• Read
• Have a little yoga area or meditation area
• Put up photos of things that matter to you
• Creat a vision board and put it up

It sounds like an exciting time!

I’m happily married but my god I would love to not have to compromise on everything all the time.

Decor, holidays, meals, restaurant choice, which cleaning products they like… I could go on.

You can eat what you like whenever you like, watch and listen to anything you want, stay in the bathroom for as long as you please and take up the whole bed to yourself 😊

You can do what you like, when you like!

You can have everything just the way you want it, no compromises.

You can really get to know yourself again. You only need to consider your tastes and what works for you, it’s up to you what happens when and who’s allowed in.

This new home can be your haven.