Please tell me the joys you have of living alone

single parent with 3 kids here, also left an abusive relationship. Sometimes it’s physically harder, but you’re emotionally and mentally so much lighter. My exOH was bloody useless anyway so I’d rather have no adult around to help than the annoyance of an able bodied person not helping.

other benefits;

• do what you want, when the hell you want!
• my Sunday currently consisted of tea in bed, reading in bed, popped to the shops, fave breakfast, spot of painting (artistic, left all the brushes and material out because I CAN and I may do some more later ), spot of writing, spot of work.
• household feels lighter and more joyous
• no moody bastard around

To help me rediscover my sense of self after those relationships, I also have what I call “healing” days out, which may be history-focussed or an art gallery, etc. I do them consciously to reconnect with who I was before and importantly, to luxuriate in my own time and heal from being at someone’s beck and call, constant urgent texts, demands and “where are you’s”, which left me hyper vigilant.

Good luck, tell us how you get on!

I've been living by myself for the last 14 years save a few months here and there and it's bliss.
bed to myself
my own routine
no sharing bathrooms
everything set up just how I like it
no one else eating my snacks
watch whatever I want to watch

and the beautiful silence once I'm home. just being able to sit down with my feet up with no one else distracting me.

holidays etc. planned on my own time. sometimes I go away having only decided the day or a couple of days before.

and tbh after all these years, I can't really bear the thought of living with someone else. I'm very happy in my single life but at this stage even if I met someone, I don't think I would want to live with them. I value my own space too much.

I can't wait. Had a brief time by myself and thoroughly enjoyed it . Only my needs and wants to take onto consideration. My daughter and her DH are moving in temporarily while they self build . It is nice but will be even nicer when they go.

This is such a lovely thread.

I miss the mess being my mess and it being my choice whether to tidy up or leave it until later.

Doing basic life things when I want. If I want a sandwich or a cuppa I can just make it whenever I want. No need to be polite and ask if the other person if they want one. If I don't feel like cooking I can just take whatever from the fridge or have pot noodles without having a talk about it. If I feel hoovering I can do it right now. If I get an inspiration to sort put kitchen I can do it.

my bf would get really annoyed when I just started doing stuff. He would want to participate but if he wasn't feeling it, he felt like he had to do it cause I was doing it. But I want to do it when I feel like it and not make plans to do chores.

You wake up in a peaceful state of mind, no slept on arguments, no knot in your stomach, no stonewalling or moody silences... just quiet and calm. Stretch in the bed, starfish and relax.

You can't put a price on that. Enjoy.

Doing anything and everything I want.

Bed at 6PM? Why not.

Chocolate strawberries for dinner? Why not.

Cooking my own pace. Taking twenty minutes to chop an onion because I get caught in a daydream? Why not.

Oozing over my sofa with a large gin and topic at 2PM on a Sunday? Why not.

Having all the wardrobe space to yourself

All the freedoms mentioned above, but for me, the thing I cherish the most is the PEACE.

A hard day at work or elsewhere isn’t half as bad when you know you’re going home to a sanctuary.

Single 9 years you really get to know your self.
I love it and would never change it no dramas no mess dont have to cook.
Do what i want when i want how i want with who i want.
My home is spotless and no one to answer to no walking on egg shells.
My money is mine.
No compromising king bed all for me.
No asking for sex no piss on the loo seat.
And no fucking clutter im a minimalist.
No sulking man child or drinking around me.
Go on holiday with when i want no fucking inlaws to care about.
Not having to hear endless stories about his kids.
No moaning or grumpyness.
No shit tv.
The list is endless.
Single life for is NO MAN NO KIDS NO STRESS.

I did a year when I cooked one new recipe a week, that might be a good thing to do?

I've never lived with anyone, and living by myself is blissful

Today I did a spin class in my spare room, had a shower with some loud music on, made a lovely breakfast, tidied a bit. Might have a nap later. I can binge watch law and order and do whatever I want

That sounds really lovely . . . . I'm sure you'll really enjoy that 😀

You'll have so much freedom to just be yourself and do the things that bring you happiness

I bought a new recipe book last weekend & I’m making myself one thing from it a week, double or triple portions so I can freeze the leftovers - would you enjoy something like that, OP?

(People will probably turn up on the thread at some point saying that they still have all these benefits even though they live with somebody else, by the way.)

I had no confidence left when I finally broke up with my ex. Living alone was the point when I started to remember who I was, what I thought and what I liked. I hope you get that from it too, OP.

No moaning at someone for using the last of the milk, something you'd bought and were going to eat, etc

I am so much more relaxed living alone. Reduced anxiety, can take as much time cooking or in the bath and not worry i’m hogging stuff. Can play loud -ish music without worrying if it’s to their taste. Don’t need to worry about my guests imposing on anyone since it’s just me they’re staying with and on the flipside I don’t need to deal with any guests I don’t want in my home! Also aside from guests I don’t need to clean up after anyone apart from myself.

Never lived full-time with a partner but I have had flatmates in the past and sometimes it was awful . I had one flatmate threaten me and years later another one remove a knife from the knife block straight after we argued (she done it to spook me). Also had one couple I stayed with who had their sister and both sets of parents come to stay most weekends. Their sister would stink out the bathroom 😵‍💫 and I’m pretty sure she was spying in my bedroom .

So I can empathise with the relief of leaving a toxic environment.

It’s also why I roll my eyes when people blithely suggest single people struggling with expenses can just easily “get a lodger”or housemate. Yes, it can work out but it’s not always that easy if you value your mental health. It can be hard enough living with someone you love and share a bed with let alone a stranger /friend.

I moved in by myself after a breakup. It was so much better! My place is a haven.
You can do what you want, when you want. Be alone if you like, or invite guests. Your choice of decor. When you clean, it stays clean. Your own choice of food and the food you buy stays there. You can be as naked as you like, as glamorous as you like, have a bed the way you like it. Watch/listen to what you like. Sleep as long as you need and then eat something nice from the fridge and take a leisurely shower in a clean bathroom etc.
It's strange at first but you won't look back. Get yourself a treat for the first night and enjoy!

Peace and tranquility

It took me a while to adjust but now I love it

I love having family members to stay with me but will also admit that it's a bit of a relief when they return home!

One of my friends said to me that there are three strands to living alone:- there are the practical aspects to running and maintaining a home, the financial responsibilities and the emotional aspects

My advice would be to take your time, how you feel the first week, month or even year may change as you adjust to all that you have endured and all the changes you are going through

Best wishes, OP . . . be kind to yourself and hope it all works out well for you

Well done on getting free lovely, I know how it feels. My home now is my haven. Granted it’s hard work with two kids messing it up constantly 😅 but aside from the simple pleasures - decorating how you like, eating/watching/doing what you like, starfishing across your bed etc… The biggest thing for me is living in peace. I am calm, mostly happy, mostly anxiety free. I do not feel I’m on eggshells all the time (or ever!). I’m 9 years on and still pinch myself at times that I can just be. The peace and safety and calm I have in my life and home is something I will never take for granted.
This is a wonderful new chapter in your life. Be proud of yourself, enjoy your freedom and most of all, don’t ever let anyone take your peace away from you again ❤️ xxx

I'm rather envious of people who live alone. There's a peace in solitude.
You can do what you want, when you want . You can use your time more efficiently. You can have peace.
Sleeping alone may give a more restful sleep, and your body may physically feel more comfortable.

Congratulations on leaving your ex , and on your new start.

I do and I love it
It's peaceful
I've decorated MY house MY way
No arguments.
No walking on eggshells
My kids listen
My house is tidy as I know its purely My responsibility for making sure that it is clean
The list goes on
I love my own company i so never feel lonely when the kids are at school/ nursery