To be upset by suggestion I am neurodiverse?

Well the term should be neurodivergent so I am doubting her credibility unless she did say neurodivergent and you remembered incorrectly.

Apart from that once you've got over your shock maybe think about if you are maybe neurodivergent and whether a diagnosis might be helpful to your mental health. I have had mental health problems since early 20s and recently have been wondering whether I am neurodivergent.

I remember being similarly outraged to you, when the doctor suggested that I had a problem with anxiety relating to my health. In later years I realised he was probably right and I've tried to get a hold on my health anxiety.

I also didn't make any friends at baby/toddler groups or school playground. I made some amazing friends ,however , later at new job where we all shared similar values personality types and interests and interestingly many of them feel they may have a neuro difference too, undiagnosed.

Well the term should be neurodivergent so I am doubting her credibility unless she did say neurodivergent and you remembered incorrectly.

Apart from that once you've got over your shock maybe think about if you are maybe neurodivergent and whether a diagnosis might be helpful to your mental health. I have had mental health problems since early 20s and recently have been wondering whether I am neurodivergent.

I remember being similarly outraged to you, when the doctor suggested that I had a problem with anxiety relating to my health. In later years I realised he was probably right and I've tried to get a hold on my health anxiety.

I also didn't make any friends at baby/toddler groups or school playground. I made some amazing friends ,however , later at new job where we all shared similar values personality types and interests and interestingly many of them feel they may have a neuro difference too, undiagnosed.

I know it’s probably a shock if you’ve never considered it before, but it’s nothing to be ashamed of if you are. Do some research and see whether it resonates. I suspect there are many ND people walking around with absolutely no clue - ie - it is nowhere near as ‘divergent’ as currently thought.

I think it's completely normal to feel upset when someone suggests this to you. I say this as someone with ND kids and starting to wonder if I am myself.

Presumably you were already feeling a bit out of sorts if you were visiting a psychologist so to have a professional suddenly identify something about you that seems different from the 'normal' would make anyone paranoid! Of course she couldn't diagnose you after ten minutes anyway.

OP you can do what you like with the info. You can ignore it if it's not helpful to you. You can think about what it might mean if it is the case that you have a neurodiversity and if it might help you to know it. You can squirrel the thought away and come back to it later. It is not a case of an all knowing person categorising you as one thing or another and you've just got to accept that now you are this thing. You're an adult and you are in charge of yourself, and nobody can classify you as anything that you don't agree with!

To be honest OP, your response is confusing to me. It might be upsetting to know that you have a health condition that you were unaware of, that is understandable, but presumably by seeking the services of a psychologist, you were wanting medical help and part of that is exploring diagnoses. A psychiatrist is trained in neurodivergent conditions so it’s not a question designed to upset you, but to see what support you may need to help you move forward. You seem to be in denial that this could be an accurate potential diagnosis. No one thinks you are “strange” but you might have a different way of thinking that can be supported, but to access that support is it not worth listening and seeing if it applies to you?

Self doubt is normal if you have a new diagnosis but it doesn’t mean it’s the end of your life, in fact it could be the start of you understanding yourself more? And what works for you? And what does not work for you?

I don’t think it’s at all unreasonable to be upset by that in that context.

A lot of people hear the suggestion of ND as a criticism. I'm ND myself, I get it - it's like being told I'm visibly off, I'm not pretending to be normal adequately enough. The thing is though, I am a bit different to most people and I can't help that. I can feel better perhaps by owning it.

Up to you if you take it any further. It sounds like your OH is trying to leave next steps firmly in your hands, which is nice. Its not like they said "Well durr" (like mine did)!

Your husband's response does suggest perhaps he thinks she may be correct

Surely that is a psychologist's job though?! To diagnose and treat if needed.

Have you done the AQ psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum-quotient There's an interesting thread on here about the scoring but I can elaborate later.

I completely understand this must be a shock. My thoughts are in order to work best with you and your individual needs, it's a reasonable question to ask. Most therapy goals involve building a relationship and that's the vehicle for change. So I'm assuming the therapist was asking because something wasn't quite making sense.

If you are (and it's impossible to know based on anything you have said), it doesn't change anything about who you are and what you've done.

You are still the same person. And honestly, some of the most amazing people I know are neuro diverse - it's not a negative or a positive. It just is. It's not strange, just like having red hair isn't strange - it's just less common.

You seen to think that it would make you somehow 'worse'. But it doesn't. It changed nothing, other than possibly how your understand your own experience.

It's not an insult so I don't know why it would upset you.

I don't think she would have asked out of thin air.

If you don't think you are then you don't need to change anything, but if you do think there's a possibility, then you could always do some more research and pursue a diagnosis if you want.

I'm autistic and my diagnosis changed my life.