To be upset by suggestion I am neurodiverse?

It’s really positive for someone to know they might be ND. It can explain a lot.

Do you see ND people as lesser?

YANBU. After ten minutes she has decided you might be neuro-diverse? And she thinks it's a good idea to mention this impression to you.

Her approach is ridiculous and totally unprofessional. She has dropped this on you, without making a proper assessment. Something which (if accurate) could totally alter the narrative of your life and then just left you to it.

I think it was really bollocks of her to suggest you are ND just because you never made mates at a baby group. It’s pretty normal for there to be quite a narrow group of people you ‘click’ with. We can’t all be gregarious social butterflies.

Some mental health professionals are just a bit crap. I’d put her down as a crap one and not give it any more thought.

If it’s even true, the psychologist only asked a question.

I'm not convinced you can diagnose after 10 minutes, if it helps.

It's upsetting her because she's ND and can't process the information that she is ND. Some people find a diagnosis useful. Some don't.

@RaggyDollsFan I've read your posts but not the whole thread so apologies if I'm repeating. I'm late diagnosed ASD, good in certain social situations (my job requires me to be highly attuned and talking to people all day about difficult things)

Through my assessment I realised that the issue I have socially is giving off 'I'm fine, don't talk to me' vibes. So not doing anything obviously odd or awkward, just not inviting people to be sociable. It's not unusual for women who are late diagnosed and who 'mask' well to be perceived as quietly confident, perhaps a bit aloof, or just independent.

The topics we were discussing that highlighted this for me were; finding it very hard to get served at a bar, or being ignored when queuing, people at work not sure when to come over and ask me a question because I always 'look busy'. It's very subtle for me eg re eye contact, body language etc.

Please don't assume that it's something drastic that someone has noticed in you. It may be nothing, it may be a sign that you're ND but it doesn't mean there is anything very obvious to the 'average' person. For me it really helped because quite simply I learned not to take it personally if I'm not invited to things, and to be a bit more forward in asking other people to things!

I was going to say the very same thing. Just because she's a qualified psychiatrist doesn't mean she isn't on the make. Private health providers, either mental or physical, don't always come with the best intentions.

Your reaction to the question seems over the top.

She asked because you made so statement that frequently, but not, exclusively to ND people. She just asked as it make gave an impact for the rest if the session. It seems like she was just seeking clarity.

I don't see what's wrong with asking the question? It's not offensive, it doesn't imply anything. It seems strange to be so impacted by it.

So you’ve come on to tell us that ND is ‘strange’ and ‘weird’.

Then you’ve responded to someone saying that ND is trendy without saying how bad that is to say.

Then you’ve responded to someone saying they’re just after money basically agreeing with them.

Nice.

You clearly have negative thoughts about people who are ND.

Without wanting to upset you when you're feeling low OP, these are very damaging stereotypes.
I have a ND son and have learned a lot since coming to understand the autistic community more.
Before I had my son and went through his diagnosis and got better informed I held similar incorrect views on ND people. I'm still learning.
Since my son having his diagnosis I've realised my husband is autistic too and it's made me realise how important the positive traits ND people tend to have are to me. I naturally gravitate towards people who are quirky,honest,have deep interests, are deeply loyal and loving. Those are all traits my husband and son have.
You may or may not be ND. It may be helpful for you to know. But noone is trying to change who you are, just to help better understand yourself.
I hope you're ok.

@RaggyDollsFan It would be part of an assessment to ask if a client had any diagnosed conditions but I would be surprised if that question got asked within 10 mins purely on the basis of your presentation/ history , unless it was part of the assessment?

BACP don’t have membership for psychologists. It may have been a psychotherapist, who would not normally be qualified to diagnose neurodiversity. If it was in the first 10 minutes of the session then I’m wondering if this was part of the assessment and a question that is asked of all new clients?
However, it seems to have stayed with you and caused you to ask questions of yourself. Maybe there is something to it, or your thought patterns or behaviours have changed due to trauma?
I hope the EMDR is helpful and you get the answers you need.

I’m a NT woman, I don’t like baby groups either, I feel like other mums can be different in their acceptance of little ones behaviours. Different parent styles from myself (not a bad thing, I’m me and they are not) so I never really felt like baby classes and groups were for me, a stress I didn’t need. I’m not saying this is the case for you, but some people who have experienced child abuse, da/dv, and even shy people or people with anxiety can say things that aren’t seen on first impression as socially normal, those of us who have had times of social weirdness (how I describe myself when younger) can be nt or nd, it’s no indication of the rest of your life

I’ve not heard neurospicy before, I love it though, fits my daughter and partner to a T

I’ll read this thread further in a mo, first thought was “do you feel nd people to be strange?” If not why would anyone think this of you? Therapist probably noticed something that is fairly typical of nd people and asked for this reason. Have you since looked up most common lists of attributes of nd people, to see if you yourself feel you tick a good portion of the boxes.

even if you suspect you may be, there is no need for diagnosis if you do not want one.

@RaggyDollsFan And the prob with being neurodiverse is....?

God someone else who's unconsciously bias, but now knows it and wants to share it with MNrs.

What the F has the world come to?

BTW yoyr choice of name suggests you may be ND but why are you bothered? Noone who knows you cares!

But it’s still relevant. You can surely see that if you were neurodivergent that would have a bearing on how you think and feel about things? Your therapist absolutely did the right thing to ask you about it.

Seeking help from a therapist about an emotional/mental health issue isn’t like seeing a doctor about a sprained ankle. The things we see therapists for can’t be compartmentalised like that.

I scored 41/50 on the AQ test so presume I am practically Rain man but I never suspected I was autistic which is all the more ridiculous given I am a registered learning disabilities nurse.
In my defence autism in my clients (and everyone bar one person I ever worked with who was diagnosed autistic was male) presented much more overtly.

That's not true of all Neurodiverse people. Mainly because a lot of us have eventually learned Social skills and we worked on it ( even before I knew I was ND)
I am interested in whether this was a private psychologist. Psychologists/ Counsellors aren't qualified to diagnose ND. It was an NHS Psychiatrist who diagnosed me with ADHD. Sounds as if they were trying to get money from you.
It gave me answers to things that I struggled with throughout my life, but I'm still the same person.
Am glad you are working on your trauma.

I was on the cusp on that test too.

I did eventually seek out an autism diagnosis. I was seen by 2 psychologists, one of whom also works for the Lorna Wing Centre (place owned by National Autistic Society where you can be diagnosed).

They said it was obvious to them I was autistic. For most of my friends and family and work colleagues it came as a surprise.

I'm so glad I went through with this. It has explained a lot.

No, I wouldn’t be offended. It’s strong in my father’s side of the family - I’m likely ND myself, undiagnosed. Brother was adhd, but being a quiet, introverted girl I was overlooked. Dh’s side are ND too, neice is diagnosed with ASD, other neice, ADHD.

I am a psychologist: I think it’s a bit inappropriate to raise the issue of neurodiversity until you have got to know someone properly and even then it doesn’t always go well and should be done with caution.
I think therapists / psychologists have been learning more about ND issues over the last few years. Maybe some can get carried away. I do think there is a sense that ND clients feel let down if they have seen several professionals over the years and no one has ever mentioned their neurodivergence. So in a sense therapists can easily get it wrong by not saying something as well as by saying something.
A first meeting though, is definitely not the right moment, unless the client themselves have raised it.

I understand why the idea might be unsettling, OP. It's not easy to think that you are noticeably different. However for those of us who are ND that is our daily experience and finding out why and having self awareness and understanding can be life changing.

If you are ND, it is relevant to everything in your life: your birth trauma, the way you process difficulties, your relationships, your inner life, everything. So she was absolutely right to explore that if she thought it was a possibility.

I'm autistic and I am very pro-diagnosis. You don't need to go private unless you need the answer urgently. You could ask for a referral and take it from there. And meanwhile read more about autism - specifically women and autism - and see if anything speaks to you.

Thank you. Yes I am now seeing another psychologist and we’re doing EMDR. It’s just that the first one’s comments are still bothering me.

I think I understand why. I have experienced trauma and someone qualified (but with whom I was in a personal and not professional social relationship with) suggested the same of me. My symptoms are trauma related and it felt so dismissive of this experience. Plus, it was totally out of line. The individual you saw, in my view, was also totally out of line in asking you based on your response to one question and especially when your reason for seeing them (trauma-related) was ignored.

An issue too is that any form of denial is seen an an insult so you are kind of trapped into accepting the 'diagnosis' for fear of insulting others.

And then you get paranoid - which exacerbates the effects of the trauma.

Honestly - let it go. After you have health with your BT try and see old friends or colleagues where you can remember your old self and you will know you are fine.

This worked for me.