To be upset by suggestion I am neurodiverse?

Without wanting to upset you when you're feeling low OP, these are very damaging stereotypes.

She’s taken them directly from the ASQ questionnaire linked upthread. She isn’t just pulling stereotypes out of thin air.

OP I struggled with baby groups too. I, probably naively) thought it would be a lovely supportive place to go where I could chat about how much love I feel for my baby but how hard things are too, turn up with wet hair, not care how I look. I was completely wrong! I ended up mainly taking my kids to activity groups as I didn't find the supportive side of groups at all for me. I don't think it's essential to engage in baby groups. The baby, for a start, will not mind.

The same thing happened to me, I went to my therapist for OCD in January and last month she gently suggested I might be neurodivergent and we did some assessments together, where I scored quite highly. Having done a lot of research, it's not only clear that I'm autistic, my unmasking was triggered by perimenopausal symptoms that began last year. Hormonal fluctuations and imbalance in women is a HUGE factor in exacerbating autistic symptoms, causing the ability to mask (some people do this completely subconsciously) more challenging. I wonder if your pregnancy/birth had a similar effect with Oestrogen levels dropping? Neurodivergent people often have several comorbidities, such as trauma, PMDD, OCD, social anxiety etc and is much easier to miss in females. Your therapist could be wrong and may have misdiagnosed you, but it's probably worth exploring more. Feel free to DM me, happy to chat more x

*medical not mental, stupid phone!

I would have thought asking someone if they were neurodivergent in a psychology session is like asking a mental patient for their past medical history?
Anxiety is common in autistic people and additionally the treatment approach is different.
I would have taken it as thorough history taking and definitely not been offended. Lots of adults are undiagnosed and a diagnosis can help many.

Oh great, another thread where an OP feels insulted at being asked if they're ND. It's been a minute 🙄

NEURODIVERGENT!!!

You have consulted a psychologist to help, and she gave you a possible explanation for some of your issues.
Surely that's her job?

Think you have to be really careful here as ACEs get chucked around in a very unscientific and problematic way which can be stigmatising for families.

If we are talking autism, environmental factors usually refer to epigenetic influences on the expression of multiple genes rather than the way a person is brought up.

10min into appointment she asks if you are neurodiverse?! I’d ignore anything she says - she does not sound professional nor competent.

@5475878237NC do you have to pay for this one? I've done one before, got right to the end and it wanted me to pay for my results.

I don't mind paying if they are upfront about it but I didn't like the fact they didn't say anything until the very end!

I mean yes it's a vicious cycle obviously, nobody is denying that

In terms of trauma originally causing/leading to ND (eg affecting early brain development) I was referring to ACEs though

It's more often the other way around and the experience of neurodivergence leads to victimisation and trauma. There's a school of thought that this includes endemic microtraumas from living in an environment which is profoundly uncomfortable.

IME the free online tests give a pretty good indication and will lead you to other resources for more information. I'd definitely do this before paying a lot of money for a formal diagnosis.

Also IME those getting diagnosed late in life have already worked it out for themselves - the actual diagnosis is confirmation of what they already know. Often it comes after their children are diagnosed.

Psychologists are a funny breed. Sometimes they are so wrapped up in their sense of prowess in 'reading' other people, they can be shockingly unaware of the impact of their own behaviour.

If you hadn't gone along to seek a view on neurodiversity, there are much gentler and more open ended ways to explore with you whether that is a question you'd be interested in. Hit and run uninvited pathologisation is not terribly ethical.

Trauma and not just genes can cause ND so it's a legitimate possibility

there’s nothing wrong with being neurodivergent so it isn’t something to be offended about. it’s the same as someone asking if you’re english/american, or tall, or if you like pop music. just another facet of identity. additionally, within the context it seems necessary for the professional to determine in order to provide the most appropriate service.

Neurodiverse does not equate to being 'strange', OP.

Just plain rude.

Maybe there's a reason for that social anxiety, huh?!

Highly inappropriate of the psychologist. I'd ignore it entirely and carry on with your life. And see someone different about the birth trauma!

Hey OP. I’m sorry you found this suggestion so confronting and anxiety inducing. I am a psychotherapist and I struggle whether to bring up suspicions I have about ND with clients who clearly don’t have it on their radar. I can imagine how difficult that would be to hear.

I wanted to share my personal experience, as someone with ADHD (diagnosed in adolescence). Becoming a mother creates a major crisis for people who are ND. All the strategies you have for managing it go out the window. Children don’t give you plenty of sleep and let you factor in a lot of time to maintain a structured routine. I would definitely class myself as socially anxious now!

Women often get diagnosed after having children or during menopause. So it wouldn’t be unusual, if you were ND, for it to be manifesting now. But that doesn’t mean you are. If I was you I would find out because this uncertainty is causing anxiety for you. Good luck x

Well for one, you can't be neurodiverse as a person. It's neurodivergent.

Two, I can understand you being shocked. Offended? No. I am neurodivergent though, so perhaps that's why. It feels insulting to read someone offended at the idea of existing like me.

I'm autistic and ADHD and I'm awesome. You could be too 👍

A lot of people won't even notice. I married into a family with a lot of ASD. I just thought they were good at maths! I just had no experience of ASD at the time. I can spot signs of it sometimes in people since I've been around a lot of it.

This. It’s just a question

ditch her+her credentials?
IF you were (knowingly)ND ...surely youd have identified this diagnosis from off set.
Trauma(any level)can have an immediate impact on perception annd affect how you may"normally" handle it.
i KNOW that AND am not a psychologist.
Im (guessing\suspect ) trauma to point realise seeking help with it...=not your "typical"self.
seriously- ditch her.

These tests seem very flawed to me. They don't take into account which questions you answer in either a strongly autistic or strongly non autistic way. For example, you could answer all the questions regarding social interactions in a very non consistent with autism way (prefer working with others, enjoy social events, enjoy meeting new people, good at making new friends, prefer group activities to solo pursuits, find it easy to read others intentions, find it easy to understand and pick up on sub texts in person and written situations, enjoyed pretend play as a child etc) but if you answer enough of the other questions in a way consistent with autism, you'll get a positive for autism result.

The tests don't analyse which questions you score in each direction. There are some fundamentals in autism and you could have none of these but lots of the less fundamental ones and yet still score highly for autism.