Won’t you be hot in that? Aibu to think don’t ask someone this?

I agree, OP - it’s a PITA. The only reason I tend to feel chillier than dh is because I’m a chilly type, and he’s got inner central heating. I had to tell him very firmly to STOP! saying this! If I thought I’d be too hot, I wouldn’t be wearing it!

To retaliate, I started telling him he needed a jacket - on the sort of day when 999 people you saw out of a thousand were wearing one - because it was cold!

He doesn’t irritate me by saying it any more.
I have a dd with the same inner central heating, though - she still says it now and then.

All the way and as the hill I die on.

As Ricky Gervais says:

Everyone has the right to be offended. Everyone has the right to offend. But no one has the right to never be offended.

Having the right to offend people is the kerbstone of free speech. I don't want to live in a world where I have to unduly pander to the feelings of others, particular where it is clearly in an obviously well-meaning context and as mundane as "will you be too hot".

This. Your weight issues would never have crossed my mind or warranted a second of thought. People are just making conversation, that is all. It's not even a rude thing to say. People really can't win these days.

Oops, the quote disappeared from my comment. It was about only mentioning something like this to a child, not an adult!

I sometimes wonder how the thought process goes…

Oh look, Beth’s wearing long sleeves. I’d be boiling in long sleeves. If I wore what Beth’s wearing I’d be really uncomfortable. Beth must be really uncomfortable because all people are exactly the same. She must be boiling. But even though I’m certain she’s boiling, I’ll ask her, just to be sure.
“Beth, aren’t you boiling in that?”

I agree. I usually assume other adults know what they're doing without any input from me.

I mean now they ARE stupid comments 🤦🏻‍♀️ 😂

It’s not something I would say to anyone other than a child.

Where does that comment even go? Oh yes, I’m boiling actually. <whips top off and sits in bra>

This. I have scars too so stick to long sleeves or sometimes can put concealer on my arm wear my watch up my arm higher and wear some scrunchies round my wrist. But I hate the comments about wearing long sleeves

I was going to say similar. My SH scars are very old now but still obvious. I used to hide them with long sleeves all the time and people would make these comments. They made me feel so uncomfortable to the point I was just as worried about what people would think of my long sleeves as I was about my scars! These days I don’t care so much and generally wear short or 3/4 sleeves when it’s hot, but I still wear long sleeves when meeting new people as I worry they’ll judge me negatively straight off the bat. It’s very tiring.

It’s so annoying and frustrating though when an outing is ruined or cut short because someone has worn completely inappropriate clothing and then moans because they’re too hot/cold/can’t walk.

And pp who said that people who make these comments aren’t thinking about your self-consciousness are correct. I’ve never been overweight. I’ve never made clothing choices based on trying to hide bits of me, so it just doesn’t occur to me. I’m not trying to be thoughtless or insensitive, it’s just completely outside anything I’ve ever considered. I’ll be brutally honest, I do look at bigger women who are still in thick tights or leggings in 25 degree heat and think, bloody hell, I’d boil in that and I’m not carrying the weight you are, you must be so uncomfortable.

us hijabi girls get asked this ALL the time

Sorry, I meant to add, that all staff said, aren't you hot in those clothes?!

YANBU.

I completely understand as a size 16 woman, when I was a size 10.

I don't like my body. I'd never wear a vest without a cardie. It's only recently that I've started wearing shorts.
Looking back, I would still wear jeans even as a 12!

Ive started wearing shorts now, but I couldn't bring myself to wear a strappy vest.

I left a job after one day because I was so hot and sweaty that I was crying in the toilets. Other women all sorts of sizes up to I'd say 20/22 dressed for the weather.

My insecurities lost me what could gave been a lovely job.

I think YABU, fair enough that people shouldn't make comments about your weight, but stating that no-one should make comments about clothing and temperature because of your own personal insecurities is going too far. We can't expect the world to guess every possible trigger.

This.

I never comment on the clothing choices of another adult. I barely register them to be honest. If it’s obvious someone has made a real effort with their appearance I will usually compliment them. I just do not take that much notice of how people look.

I think your friend OP was rude and unhelpful. It was not as though you could easily change what you had on in any event. At best it was a fatuous unhelpful comment. At worst designed to make you feel a bit shit. You will know which it was.

I had this from a school mum. She went on and on at me saying, you should buy yourself some summer clothes when wearing a tshirt and jeans. I had summer clothes I just run cold. I used to wear cardigans in 25 degree heat when I was younger. We were not friends either just acquaintances and she is the most irritating busy body. Now I am menopausal I run hotter so I do wear more summer type clothes earlier in the season but I wouldn’t dream of commenting on what an acquaintance was wearing not wearing.

I know some people are but I don’t think it is necessary for someone to have to explain their clothing choices.

If they start complaining, it is one thing, but if they’ve not said a word and don’t anyway, why comment?

I get the irritation on both sides. I had a friend who would dress inappropriately for the weather and moan how cold it was. My mother asks this type of question to me that the OP is describing knowing I run much warmer than her, but because she runs quite cold feels that what I’m wearing is inappropriate.

Exactly this. Plus cotton and linen looser clothes are so much more stylish. I hate standing near people with all their flesh exposed with their arse hanging out of their extremely short shorts and their badly applied fake tan whatever size they are. There are very few women who look good in those very skimpy clothes, most would look better covered up more.

I'm fat and wear linen and cotton tops to cover my arms when in public. If someone asked me if I was hot i'd privately think none of your fucking business but to them I'd say I was perfectly comfortable.

To be honest there are far too many instances of fat women wearing too tight and too skimpy clothing, not a good look to have all the rolls showing.

These are of course my own opinions, people can wear what they like and shouldn't get any stick for it to their face, but they can't stop others thinking thoughts about it.

I've said it twice today to my children who are wandering around in thick hoodies and dressing gowns. I don't say it to adults, especially as I love in jeans and keep them on all through the summer if I can.