Won’t you be hot in that? Aibu to think don’t ask someone this?

I wear cardigans in hot weather because I don’t want to burn. It wouldn’t bother me if someone asked if I’d be too hot, I’d just say ‘I don’t want to burn’.

I have clearly forgotten how to do friendship because I would take this as a compliment. I don't much like cooking, so if someone is that interested in the slop I dish up, I am pleased.

Currently on this thread we have as non-interesting topics:
clothing choices
what someone had for tea
how they made it
where they bought ingredients

I expect more to be added. Personally, I find other people's children quite boring, so I never ask about them.

I agree with you @soupfiend.
If a guest has so enjoyed what I have made that they want the recipe I feel very flattered.

I find this an incredibly odd attitude. You've invited someone round for a meal, presumably so that your friend enjoys it and likes what you've done, part of that is discussing what the meal is, where its ingredients are from, what methods you used to cook it. Its part of the interest in what you've done for her, all the effort you went to.

You say that you dont do this and find something 'interesting' to talk about, what is not interesting about food, and flavours and recipes and provenience ? Its part of the enjoyment of food surely

I've had it 28 years and mine got so bad. It's exercise/heat induced for me and comes up every single day since I was 12

I'm not in remission but as long as I take the Xolair, not a single hive. Miracle drug

I have a friend who, when she comes round for a meal, wants to know how I made it, where did I buy the meat etc etc. I find it infuriating. I will just say everything is delicious and leave it at that and talk about something more interesting!

@buffyslayer Thanks, no I haven't. I'm in remission thankfully, so don't need it at the moment. I was mostly managing it with hardcore doses of fexofenadine.

I'll look into Xolair for my next outbreak. I'm hoping it will be a while though as I can go 10 years hive-free. I've just got over a year-long unsightly outbreak.

Have you ever tried Xolair? Life changing

My friend often wears cardigans in heatwaves. It seems crazy to me to wear a cardigan in hot conditions but I guess it must be about feeling uncomfortable about her weight. I'm overweight too though and wouldn't be judgemental about weight

fieldsofbutterflies · Today 10:25
Differentstarts · Today 09:32

Now that multiple posters have explained multiple different personal reasons why they keep their bodies covered and how they don't like people commenting on it. Hopefully people will learn from this and not say this in the future.
Unfortunately I very much doubt it 🤷‍♀️

Because it is sometimes a form of low-level, below-the-radar bullying. I've seen it in action! The 'innocent' concern.

I cannot fathom anyone having a valid interest in what someone else wears (in terms of comfort, I mean). That's entirely a personal matter. Why is that so difficult to understand.

(Slightly different issue, but I've had other women fiddle with my bra straps when one has slightly slipped into view. I have annoying sloping shoulders. Now, I'm a modest dresser so this is when I'm wearing a jumper - so no issue of exposing myself! They are often surprised at the reaction they get from mild-mannered me when they reach out and adjust them! It might irritate you to see an exposed bra-strap, but it's none of your business. And I'm not talking about a formal occasion where they might be legitimately pointing out a clothing malfunction - this happened when I was in my own home!!!)

Unfortunately I very much doubt it 🤷‍♀️

I'd imagine if you and your friends all went for a day's grape picking in the south of France, they'd turn up in little tops and shorts and no hat. Soon enough they'd be exhausted and in pain from sun exposure.

A lot of people mistakenly think that hot weather must mean skin on show. I doubt it's to do with your weight.

Namechange4765 · Yesterday 20:26
Gwenhwyfar · Yesterday 09:46

So many adults can't dress for the weather.
Show quote history
But how does that in any way affect the person commenting? It's none of their business!

100%!

Gosh, the infantilising busy-bodies on this thread. Yes, for children, check...they might not have considered the weather forecast, but with adults, please have some respect and keep you nose out of other people's clothing choices.

I've actually witnessed this as a form of bullying. I've seen a situation where an unpleasant person has needled an overweight friend all under the guise of faux concern.

Now that multiple posters have explained multiple different personal reasons why they keep their bodies covered and how they don't like people commenting on it. Hopefully people will learn from this and not say this in the future.

Yeah - the idea that Stephen Fry was aiming his 'so fucking what' at someone he cared about and he'd chosen to spend time makes him sound like a total twat 😂

I have been not complimenting friends on huge weight losses, because I don't comment on people's bodies, but apparently that's wrong too, according to a pp. I think I am still better off not commenting on weight loss. Though I am happy to accept a compliment if someone comments on mine!

@RichardsGear

In the words of Stephen Fry:
"It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine. 'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what."

Again, as I said to the poster who quoted similar from Ricky Gervais...

They are talking about offensiveness in comedy and the arts. About pushing boundaries. They are not excusing being tactless in every day interactions.

My mind boggles at the number of posters who are wailing about not being able to say whatever the fuck they like to people. I'd like to think in real life that most people know how to navigate social interactions with more grace.

Someone cay "ooh aren't you hot in that?", or "how can you eat all of that, I'd never manage all that food", or "ugh I could never eat shellfish, it gives me the heave" all they like. No one is saying you don't have the right. We're just saying you're a gobby tactless cow if you do.

Agreed, it annoys the hell out of me. As a chronic urticaria sufferer, I wear long sleeves when I have an outbreak as it looks awful. I'd rather not have to explain my reasoning to anyone who disapproves of my clothing.

Except thats the opposite of that posters beef isnt it

She's sulking because someones noticed her partners weight loss but not hers. Presumably she wouldnt give it a second thought if someone noticed hers but not his, that would be fine.

In the words of Stephen Fry:
"It's now very common to hear people say, 'I'm rather offended by that.' As if that gives them certain rights. It's actually nothing more... than a whine. 'I find that offensive.' It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. 'I am offended by that.' Well, so fucking what."

I like Stephen Fry. Also Ricky Gervais who has been similarly quoted. I honestly don't believe that either of them were referring to small, everyday interactions with the people who purport to care about us. They are talking about the right to hold and express certain opinions on subjects that engage people's interest - politics, religion etc. You can't please everyone and all that. I don't believe for one second it's about telling Auntie Mabel that she should remove her cardi because the weather's very hot. Or any other personal, irrelevant remarks about a person's appearance. Find something better to say. 'It's lovely to see you' works well for me as an opener.

Except if you read the thread poster above me said she would like people to comment on her weight loss.

YANBU

Comment indicates that person thinks they know better than you what to wear. So yes, it can come off a little rude, even leaving aside body confidence issues.

Also not particularly helpful if you're already out and about and it's too late to change.

Are you in the UK? I think for Brits particularly, unsolicited advice can often sound like criticism (although in some other cultures I think giving advice is a way of showing you care, and people find Brits a bit touchy!).

It really isn’t difficult. Don’t comment on other people’s bodies.

Yup. And just because you are offended, does not mean that you are right.

God in heaven.
Compliment everyone who turns up but don't compliment weight loss because what if they lost weight because they were severely ill but what if you don't compliment them and they take offense because they have lost a stone but what if you do compliment them and they take offense because are you saying their only value is in being thin....

Life is too short.
.