Won’t you be hot in that? Aibu to think don’t ask someone this?

I agree with you OP. I've got several areas of my body I need to cover for personal reasons and someone drawing attention to it makes me feel really uncomfortable. It also feels patronising as though I'm not an adult who can decide what's suitable to wear.
I also agree being covered up in long sleeves and long skirt or trousers is a better way to keep cool. People in hot countries aren't usually wearing vest and shorts - it's not practical.

It’s a dopey, insensitive comment, not an innocuous remark about the weather. It really doesn’t take much to recognise that there are all kinds of quite personal reasons why someone, especially someone overweight, might be quite covered up on a hot day.

Could be a normal question, I sometimes ask "how are you not cold" when my friends go out without a jacket. I genuinely wonder if they just don't feel it or maybe I'm the weird one.

See also "are you not taking an umbrella"?

A long flowing dress is far cooler than denim shorts etc, it also allows one to go commando, I have such a dress for gardening, blissfully cool.

I might say that if you were wearing a wool jumper or a very fitted top in heavy material.

But clothes that cover you are not inherently hot, in very hot countries people tend to wear loose clothing that covers their legs and arms, it is cooler.

It only seems to be Northern Europeans who seem to think that it is cooler to wear tiny scaps of clothing in hot sun.

This is why everyone on MN has no friends and think of friends as " drama".

. I realise I sound horrible but I really do not have the time to think about other people's poor body image. I would never comment on their weight, but a harmless comment like this would probably escape my lips. Because friendship shouldn't be such hard work.

You’re being ridiculous OP.

People should be able to chat away without having consciously to navigate around non-point, over-sensitivities like this.

(Also fat)

I agree with you.
On the summer hating threads there are always posters complaining that they hate summer clothes.

They seem to be unable to get past the idea that summer clothes don't have to be revealing and skimpy.

Loose cotton or linen trousers, a loose long-sleeved cotton shirt, a maxi dress, a cotton midi skirt, sandals- these all cover you up and are much cooler to wear than skinny jeans, trainers and tight T-shirts and jumpers.

And if you are worried about your weight these summer clothes don't make you appear any fatter or thinner than winter clothes.

Rather than dictating how others should think or speak, why not focus on strengthening your emotional resilience to disregard any perceived 'hurty' words.

You must have read my mind, OP! I considered starting this thread the other day (and have done for the last few years!). I hate being asked these questions. I’m not hurting anyone, so leave me alone!

So many adults can't dress for the weather.

A lot of women seem to be convinced only a strappy top and short skirts will keep them cool as soon as the temperatures hit 20C. So anything with more coverage would stand out to them as different. I mostly live in linen shirts and long dresses and find them much cooler.

I think it depends on how close you are to the person, because it could both be said and interpreted in different ways.

Yes, this. It’s a passing comment. If they push the point, it’s bad. But a casual “Aren’t you hot in that?” is normal conversation between people who know each other, not an intrusive interrogation.

Yes, I've had those conversations where people decide to leave one layer in the car. It can be useful.

I’m a warm creature, I wear vests in the winter.
People ask “are you not freezing” it’s just conversation, no need to take offence.

Well done on tackling the weight issue.

I find covering with cotton or linen far cooler that wearing a scrappy top anyway.

I would it that it's coming from a good place. They're just showing that they are concerned for you. It's your low self esteem that's getting wound up and reacting. I'm sure they mean well.

Wear light clothes that cover you. Not wanting to show flesh should not mean wearing clothes that are too warm.
It's very annoying when people don't dress adequately for the temperature and then end up complaining eg going out all day without a jacket because it was warm at lunchtime.

There's a lot of projection here, for sure.
Banging on yes, but an odd comment about the weather is not worth this angst.
People often ask me if I am cold in the winter. I never am, but I take it as kindly meant.

@Wishlist99 you make a perfect example of when someone is saying it to be bitchy or draw attention to their own clothes/body.

Context is everything. I would be fine with people saying it genuinely but not if they're having a secret dig.

People are just talking about the weather.

We quite often meet up with friends for a walk. If we are dressed as if for different seasons, one of us will probably comment, because it means one set of us has probably not read the weather forecast, or missed something on it.
And then our comparing of notes usually leads to a general adding or shedding of layers all round.

I burn very, very easily. I am also at increased risk of skin cancer for a number of reasons.

add to that I don’t like sun cream, and I like pale skin, I am generally well covered up in warm weather.

my stock answer for those struggling is “I can burn in the shade, i find it better to cover than have to faff with sun cream”

You can talk about the weather without needing to comment on someone else’s clothes. How much is making a comment like ‘won’t you be hot dressed like that?’ really going to move the conversation on? It’s unlikely to lead to riveting conversation! At best the person is going to say ‘Yes, I didn’t realise it was this hot when I got dressed.’ or ‘No, I don’t feel the heat.’ But at worst you will make them uncomfortable because they are dressing in that way to cover up because they are uncomfortable with an aspect of their body. It’s really not hard to avoid commenting on other peoples appearances and to still make conversation.

I get what you mean OP. During the heatwave last year I was wearing a maxi skirt which was absolutely fine for me and I thought appropriate for the weather. Another mum at the school gate kept on banging on and on and on about how I must be SO HOT and how could I bear to have anything covering my legs. Said mum had on teeny tiny denim hot pants and a vest top size 6 figure and the disdain directed at me was palpable. It was incredibly irritating. Don’t tell me that I must be feeling hot, over and over again!