Won’t you be hot in that? Aibu to think don’t ask someone this?

I don't think anyone who says this is linking it to your weight, simply how they'd feel if they wore the same clothing. They are either just curious or they care about your comfort. I think you're projecting your own feelings onto this comment. However, it has made me realise we shouldn't be commenting on people's clothing, in the same way as we shouldn't comment on people's food/portion sizes etc.

Yeah same. I actually don't understand adults who comment on other people's clothing choices. The only acceptable thing to say is compliment something if you like it, otherwise stay quiet!

Workplace rules excepting of course for managers.

I agree. I find it patronising when people comment on other people's clothing choices like that.

This definitely bears repeating. I think the exact same thing every time
Even when I was v slim I never wore short skirts/tiny shorts or minuscule vests. Much happier in a light fabric maxi dress and floaty shirt. Beach cover ups are ideal for this actually.

Pop one over a strappy dress and you're good to go. I've never had anyone say "won't you be too hot in that?" I'd think they were an idiot if they did too. 😉

I feel your pain...some people just can't help themselves. As an overweight teen I wore cardigans in summer to cover my body, I'm not as bothered as I get older but I have hardly any summer clothes at all and it's such a struggle at this time of year.

I’m with you op, but from the opposite side. I hate wearing tights, the moment it’s vaguely above freezing I’ll go bare legs - the amount of ‘aren't you cold’ comments I get is insane- I’m an adult who can dress themself!

i assume people are imagining the clothes / lack of clothes on themself and how they would feel, but why say it?!

Sounds like a normal conversation to me - I’m often asked if I’m not too cold in winter.

Unless OP secretly stinks because she’s layering up so much, and they’re trying to find a nice way to say so, it’s just a normal discussion between friends IME

Weight has nothing to do with it.

I do agree with you that there's no need to comment negatively on someone's choice of clothing - but equally I think most people are just making small talk and aren't thinking about it like you are.

I work outdoors and cover up as I burn easily and have lots of moles so I'm at risk for skin cancer. People always make comments and while I know they don't mean anything by it, it can be really frustrating!

Dear God. Pretty soon nobody will say anything to anyone for fear of offending. What a very boring time we are living through (socially).

I think there's a lot to be said for accepting that people (even friends) can be variously annoying and irritating; they might put their foot in it and inadvertently say something which can be taken the wrong way and generally aren't mind readers.

I get what you're saying op. But I think it shows they don't 'see' your weight really, otherwise they'd probably make the connection as to why you chose that top.

I'm mindful of this when I see some colleagues wearing scarves and long tops in the office when it's a million degrees (no aircon) and never comment with this type of thing, although I really want to tell them to fuck it, stick a vest on if you want ffs, be comfortable, anyone with an issue can 🖕

I always think a comment about how you must be too hot or too cold in your clothing is a bit 'you cannot be trusted to dress yourself'.

Why on earth wouldn't another adult be able to judge what clothing they require for the current temperature?

My mum absolutely hated tattoos and my son had got one on his leg. He was too chicken to confess that he'd had it done. On a very hot day he would not wear shorts if he was going to see her .
She and I would see him and he'd be wearing long trousers. She would say " aren't you too hot" I thought the whole thing was hilarious and I couldn't help myself. Once she'd ask him I would then follow up her suggestion by saying " yes you must be dissolving in those etc etc" . He would give me some serious dirty looks.

She never did find out, although there were some very close shaves. On one occasion she popped in to see him unannounced and he opened the door in shorts and had to somehow wedge his leg against the door then quickly ran upstairs to change.. the funny thing is about 2 years ago he decided he'd didn't like the tattoo anymore and got it ( at great expense) lasered off. She died 5 years ago and I like to think that she's looking down saying " well I told you they were awful"

Really? How far do you want to carry that?

It's the kind of think I would think, but I'd never say it to someone!

I went for a weekend away with someone who didn't want to burn/tan but also wouldn't wear sun cream. This meant heading for the shade in MAY when it wasn't hot. Never again.

You are completely overreacting and thinking about this more than you should. It's a very British thing to comment on, as we are obsessed with the weather, and once it's warm, we then berate it for being too hot. And some people do wear inappropriate clothing, jeans and a long sleeved top in 30+ degrees eg isn't sensible. Loads of overweight people just buy bigger short sleeved T shirts that fit.

One of my friends always asks me if I have a brolly. I could take that as a searing indictment of my personality. Dies she think I am top stupid to carry a brolly in the rain?

Or I could do what I usually do: tell her I have a thin Pac- a- Mac in my handbag because I don't like brollies.

YANBU. As a very fair skinned Irish person I genuinely have to cover up more in strong sunlight, and I get this same comment a lot.

If you go somewhere in a group it affects others. I resent having to pay for a taxi because someone wore stupid shoes or having to go home early because they didn't bring a jacket.
If someone runs warm or cold they can just explain that.

Are these your friends making comments? I don’t understand the sensitivity to be honest. They say “aren’t you hot” and you say “no I’m fine” but then I like my friends.

I actually find it sad that these people are your friends and you can’t actually tell them the truth.
Surely friends would be encouraging, positive if you said you were self conscious about your appearance?

Same here. I am regularly asked whether I am going to be warm enough in things because I tend to run warm and am what other people might consider underdressed in winter. I take it as concern for my wellbeing, it wouldn't occur to me to go looking for some deeper meaning. How do such sensitive people make it through the day?

I am baffled at how much many people overdress in hot weather. How can they do that. Even skinny Africans in Africa walking fast, in puffy coats & wooly hats, when it's blazing sunshine and 28 degrees C. HOWWWwwwwwwww ??

People should only comment on another's outfit if they have something positive to say. I am also overweight and cover my arms. And I bet all the people on here who say ' no one cares' but I do - that's the point!
I don't wear sleeves and then complain about being hot. And if someone says something I could respond that I could be naked and still hot! I mean if it's hot out even the ones in tank tops and shorts complain about it. I also do not comment if I think someone is underdressed - they may run warm and not need another layer. They may like showing off their arms! I may THINK they must be cold, but if they are adults I give them the benefit of believing they made a conscious decision to dress that way and it's not my place to comment. One shouldn't have to defend their sartorial choices.