Won’t you be hot in that? Aibu to think don’t ask someone this?

People say this to me all the time because I'm rarely without my arms covered because I feel the cold. I just reply 'no, I'll be fine'. I never thought of it as rude or intrusive, just a casual remark, and I certainly don't think people intend it that way. You're sensitive because you're not confident about your appearance, but in the nicest possible way, that's not your friends responsibility, and I think its U to expect other people to self censor all the time in case any throwaway comment is triggering.

But it's not your business either way, so there's absolutely no need to comment and potentially make someone feel self-conscious or upset.

I cover up to protect my skin. I hate the smell/feel of sunscreen so I'd rather wear long sleeves.

So, you're not one of those people and you can explain it.
Some people really are like that though and as I've mentioned above, their poor planning can affect other people so people may point out that they might want to re-consider what they're wearing either for the particular person's good or for the group's.

When I go walking, the organiser looks at the weather in much more detail than the rest of us and is well placed to give advice on what to wear. Of course, you then tailor that to your own needs.

I agree with you op, although I wouldn't show my irritation to anyone who said it, as they rarely mean anything bad by it. But those saying it's just commenting on the weather... No it isn't, it's commenting on your choice of clothes for the weather, giving an opinion that you're inappropriately dressed.

Like a pp, I'm extremely pale skinned (redhead), and I prefer to cover up. I was wearing a very light poncho thing the other day, and another school parent came over and said 'aren't you boiling??'. She then looked at my friend, and said the same, sounding even more shocked. My friend is Muslim, and was wearing long sleeves and a head covering. The woman who said it is nice enough, and I'm sure didn't mean to offend, but it was a little inappropriate!

I’ve always found shorts incredibly uncomfortable. They dig into my crotch and the legs ride up between my thighs. Cotton trousers or maxi all the way.

I cover up, if at all possible with long sleeves and preferably a midaxi-maxi length. I do this for multiple reasons -

1. It genuinely feels cooler.
2. I'm not a fan of sunburn/skin cancer/looking any older than I absolutely have to or spending valuable sleeping time covering myself with sunblock every morning to be able to go out without burning to a crisp (and still missing a bit).
3. Psoriasis flares - in a flare, anything on my skin other than petroleum jelly based emollient ointment stings - and that's not a good idea to have on your skin in the sun, especially when I've also used coal tar derivatives to try and ease the burning sensation.
4. I can wear compression sports stuff underneath and not look weird - I've got EDS and it helps me not faint, eases varicose veins and wicks away/protects skin from sweat and chafing.
5. It stops various skin surfaces from sticking together.
6. I prefer to feel a little bit 'dressed' for work.
7. I'm not keen on getting everything out for all to see as a general rule in any case, not because of my size, but because of personal preference.

I have had different comments ranging from my personal favourite from a Muslim colleague 'You look so elegant!' (Ha! As if!) to 'You shouldn't be ashamed of your body, everyone's beautiful' (too many well intentioned people in the crowd at Brighton Pride) and my least favourite <insert random Anti-Semitic shit from some prick in a vest top>.

A white British person asking the bog standard 'Aren't you hot in that?' doesn't really bother me, as the 'I find it cooler' or 'Sunburn sucks' is usually enough for them to go 'Oh, OK. It's a nice dress, I just thought you'd be a bit hot in it' - with a quick joke about at my age, I'm hot everywhere.

I'd far rather get the 'You look so elegant' or 'That's a lovely colour/print/etc' than the others.

It's not always about size and is rarely ill-intentioned.

And? What does it matter?

I’m probably considered one of those people. I’m heat intolerant, run warm and being out in direct sun coupled with heat for 5-10 minutes makes my skin feel like it’s burning.

In the winter, I’m in a t-shirt and leggings or light layers that I can easily remove.

Warm days like the past few days, I wear something covering my arms and legs with a hat or umbrella.

If I don’t and get too hot, my blood pressure ( healthy but on the lower end) drops and I faint.

@StMarieforme What disability is prejudiced by this comment?

You get used to the temperature where you live.

After living in Queeensland for a year, I'd be thinking of putting on a sweatshirt if it got below about 18 degrees.

Even now in the UK I look at people in the dead of winter who are just wearing maybe a light gilet over a normal sweater and I wonder how they are not cold, when I'm in a thermal baselayer, thin fleece, thick fleece, big puffa jacket, hat, scarf, gloves and am still freezing.

this. If you are not my mother and its not a compliment then do not comment on my choice of clothing

"She's a grown woman and knows if she's going to be cold."

And yet so many grown women can't dress appropriately for the weather.

Another ableist comment.

What an ableist remark.

That depends on the state of your mental health and what affects it.

So people could just not comment on another person's choices.

Would you say "Doesn't that grey top make you look washed out and ill?".

Same inference.

No they're not. They're making personal comments about another person's choices.

Commenting about the weather is "isn't it lovely".

This.

It really isn't a reasonable comment. My daughter gets this all the time. She's a naturally hot person and is on many meds that maker her even hotter. She's a grown woman and knows if she's going to be cold.

So no. As OP says, stop commenting and making people feel like shit. Please.

I'm sure some people are just making conversation (fucking dull conversation in my books- I never comment on people's choice of clothing unless to say something complimentary), but there are absolutely nasty people who do it to stick the boot in.

Absolutely this.

I think some of the responses are being a bit disingenuous tbh - there's no need to say anything negative about anything anyone chooses to wear. So what if you think they'll be too hot or too cold?

There are also medical reasons for people to cover up (like cancer or being at risk of cancer) and those people don't necessarily want to discuss it with anyone else. That's why I cover up (I have atypical mole syndrome which puts me at increased risk) but I don't feel my medical issues are anyone else's business.

I normally lie and just say I'd rather cover up than wear sunscreen but even so, I shouldn't need to explain anything to begin with!

I think this, to 99% of people it is passing thought or had previous issues with sick of people moaning

If you overthink that is not really anyone else's issue, people can find fault with every comment if they want to think like that

Your issues are yours alone

Absolutely. I was quite overweight in my young teens, and I remember always struggling with what to wear in the summertime. One particularly warm day, I wore a long skirt and a long sleeved top. My delightful older sister said to me “you’re not showing much flesh” and then added “and you’ve plenty of it to show”, in a sneering manner. I’ve never forgotten it, nor the humiliation, and it’s one of many reasons I’m now NC with her.

Yes. And of course those who are genuinely too insensitive to grasp why pointing at an overweight friend’s clothes on a hot day and exclaiming ‘Poor you! You look absolutely melting!’ is going to cause the other person discomfort.

Agreed. I’m in my mid-40s. I know how to dress myself appropriately for the prevailing weather conditions.

I had this a few months ago when I met my SIL at the beach for a walk. It was winter time, cold and windy. I was wearing a fleece and without even saying hello she launched into “aren’t you wearing a coat?”. The fleece was perfectly comfortable and appropriate for the weather and planned activity.

There absolutely is a certain type of woman who comments on what overweight women are wearing on hot days.

They know why she is wearing the clothes she has chosen to wear. They are drawing attention to it because they're oh so pleased with their slim figure, vest and short shorts.

I'm sure some people are just making conversation (fucking dull conversation in my books- I never comment on people's choice of clothing unless to say something complimentary), but there are absolutely nasty people who do it to stick the boot in.