Page 9 | Son has changed his mind about class party - doesn't want to go

VeryBusyDoingNothing · 2024-05-12T07:55:38+00:00

Wwyd. Came out with an invitation weeks ago and he said he wanted to. Announced now he doesn't know the child very well and he doesn't want to go. Turns out none of his close friends are going either. Feel rude not going but feel I can't force him?

Zone2NorthLondon · 12/05/2024 20:02

bloodyplumbing · 12/05/2024 20:00

@Zone2NorthLondon what about the sensitivity of the party child?

Not important, cause your brat has changed his mind and been enabled but his parents?

Let me explain, I won’t be drawn by your provocative language. It’s tiresome
you know my opinion read my posts ,try not to say Brat, or Flaky in response

SoreAndTired1 · 12/05/2024 20:01

bloodyplumbing · 12/05/2024 19:59

@SoreAndTired1 the child if he doesn't go is a spoilt brat, allowed by his parents and hopefully never invited to a party again!

Nothing in OPs post indicate the infamous "social anxiety".

No, he is not a spoilt brat, if you said that to a child you'd be an abusive bully.

We don't know it isn't social anxiety or more than we know it is.

bakewellbride · 12/05/2024 20:01

@FuckTheClubUp it might not be a 'holding your breath' scenario but at my son's 5th party I paid the venue £13 per child saying they'd attend, arranged what hot food they'd selected, checked for allergies etc and organised a party bag for that child. So it is rude and selfish to not turn up because your child doesn't fancy it, you accept an adult has put time effort and money in and you show up imo.

bloodyplumbing · 12/05/2024 20:00

@Zone2NorthLondon what about the sensitivity of the party child?

Not important, cause your brat has changed his mind and been enabled but his parents?

SoreAndTired1 · 12/05/2024 20:00

spriots · 12/05/2024 19:57

So if you set up a playdate and then your child didn't fancy it, you would just cancel last minute?

I wonder how many invites you get

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Yes, why would I force a child? Kids change their minds about going over to play with another all the time. It's no big deal. Then again when I was young it wasn't actually a 'playdate' we'd just go over someone's house after school or on the weekend if we felt like it.

bloodyplumbing · 12/05/2024 19:59

@SoreAndTired1 the child if he doesn't go is a spoilt brat, allowed by his parents and hopefully never invited to a party again!

Nothing in OPs post indicate the infamous "social anxiety".

Zone2NorthLondon · 12/05/2024 19:59

Monstersunderthesea · 12/05/2024 19:41

Err, because it’s taeaching your child to be a rude, disrespectful little brat?

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How articulately you explained that.your sensitivity to children just radiates on the screen

Concannon88 · 12/05/2024 19:59

I'd be forcing mine if they were 6. Either that or make an excuse and send a card with a tenner in it

SoreAndTired1 · 12/05/2024 19:58

bloodyplumbing · 12/05/2024 19:56

@SoreAndTired1 and what about the social anxiety of the child who is having a party?

You're one of those irritating flaky people who say yes, then pull the social anxiety card and cancel.

Really irritating and total bullshit.

Do not accept an invitation and then for no reason decline!

Your ableism is really disgusting. Some people's social anxiety is really debilitating. It's quite clear you are insensitive and have no thought for others who suffer really badly, it's bullying behaviour typical of extroverts.

spriots · 12/05/2024 19:57

SoreAndTired1 · 12/05/2024 19:55

Some of these bar the doctors and school aren't necessary. So no I wouldn't force them.

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So if you set up a playdate and then your child didn't fancy it, you would just cancel last minute?

I wonder how many invites you get

bakewellbride · 12/05/2024 19:56

I'd make him go!

SoreAndTired1 · 12/05/2024 19:56

This reply has been deleted

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And he's not going due to some anxiety, he's just changed his mind.

We don't know that.

Calling a child a brat for simply changing his mind says far more about you than him.

Zone2NorthLondon · 12/05/2024 19:56

bloodyplumbing · 12/05/2024 19:44

@Zone2NorthLondon the child wasn't forced or cajoled or anything, he accepted an invite.....

Then flaked out, like a PP said like a brat!

Imagine bringing a child up like that.

cant take your posts seriously. The bombastic tone, brat!gotcha!flaky
it’s like you’re trying too hard to be o’er provocative
words but no content

bloodyplumbing · 12/05/2024 19:56

@SoreAndTired1 and what about the social anxiety of the child who is having a party?

You're one of those irritating flaky people who say yes, then pull the social anxiety card and cancel.

Really irritating and total bullshit.

Do not accept an invitation and then for no reason decline!

spriots · 12/05/2024 19:56

bloodyplumbing · 12/05/2024 19:49

The child got a say.......

He said yes!!

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Exactly.

I do give my children a say when it comes to these things. I don't RSVP to any parties without checking with them first.

SoreAndTired1 · 12/05/2024 19:55

spriots · 12/05/2024 19:50

Those people who say they of course wouldn't make their children do anything they didn't feel like, genuinely curious as to how you approach it when your child doesn't feel like:

Going on a playdate
Going to visit grandparents
Going to something you bought them tickets for
Going to do something boring but necessary like the doctors or the supermarket
Going to school
Going to extracurriculars they agreed to and you have paid for

Basically trying to work out whether it's that some posters just don't give a shit when it affects someone else or just have your children ruling the roast?

I must confess I thought of myself as quite a soft touch as a parent - I am surprised that some clearly feel that making your child go to a social event they agreed to is like sending them to a gulag

Some of these bar the doctors and school aren't necessary. So no I wouldn't force them.

SoreAndTired1 · 12/05/2024 19:54

bloodyplumbing · 12/05/2024 19:49

The child got a say.......

He said yes!!

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At the time! He changed his mind. And that should be his perogative. We adults all change our minds.

WhatNoRaisins · 12/05/2024 19:54

I think you can acknowledge a child's feelings and worries without just letting them do whatever they want to.

bloodyplumbing · 12/05/2024 19:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

spriots · 12/05/2024 19:50

Those people who say they of course wouldn't make their children do anything they didn't feel like, genuinely curious as to how you approach it when your child doesn't feel like:

Going on a playdate
Going to visit grandparents
Going to something you bought them tickets for
Going to do something boring but necessary like the doctors or the supermarket
Going to school
Going to extracurriculars they agreed to and you have paid for

Basically trying to work out whether it's that some posters just don't give a shit when it affects someone else or just have your children ruling the roast?

I must confess I thought of myself as quite a soft touch as a parent - I am surprised that some clearly feel that making your child go to a social event they agreed to is like sending them to a gulag

bloodyplumbing · 12/05/2024 19:49

SoreAndTired1 · 12/05/2024 19:48

There are a lot of people on this thread who really don't understand children and expect them to have no agency and no say. They're just an accessory of the adult. It's really sad. These are the parents that cause social anxiety. Giving a child a say in their life won't make them a 'brat'. It tells them you have their back and they will feel that they can come to you and that you are a safe place for them.

The child got a say.......

He said yes!!

SoreAndTired1 · 12/05/2024 19:48

There are a lot of people on this thread who really don't understand children and expect them to have no agency and no say. They're just an accessory of the adult. It's really sad. These are the parents that cause social anxiety. Giving a child a say in their life won't make them a 'brat'. It tells them you have their back and they will feel that they can come to you and that you are a safe place for them.

Onthemaintrunkline · 12/05/2024 19:46

If you have rsp’d in the affirmative, barring genuine illness he should attend.

bloodyplumbing · 12/05/2024 19:44

@Zone2NorthLondon the child wasn't forced or cajoled or anything, he accepted an invite.....

Then flaked out, like a PP said like a brat!

Imagine bringing a child up like that.

Pin0cchio · 12/05/2024 19:43

How does he "not know the child" well if he's been in their class at school all year

Mine would 100% be going