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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you post pic of your children's faces online / judge people who do / don't and why ?

159 replies

sicklye · 12/05/2024 08:48

I occasionally post pics of my kids on FB and instagram.

Maybe once or twice a year. I occasionally do stories too. Maybe 3 to 4 times a year.

I decided that if it wasn't too often, it would be fine.

Some people never post at all or some blur out the faces.

Others post daily.

What's your stance on this and what are you reasons for posting / not posting / blurring out faces ?

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456pickupsticks · 13/05/2024 16:10

I don't really mind what people do individually - although do feel some pictures are very unwise (bath pics etc).

What does drive me mad is when schools, clubs, influencer foster families, etc put pictures online and just partially cover the faces of children who clearly don't have permission to be shared online (eg the picture is of six kids doing an activity, but little Billy has a smiley emoji half-covering his face, half of it is still visible, you can still see his shoes and his special personalised jumper with his initials on it).
Absolutely fine for schools, clubs etc to share photos, including online, as long as parents have given permission (and kids of a certain age too), but this winds me up so much, as clearly they haven't!

Willyoujustbequiet · 13/05/2024 10:19

I do but not that often and I'm careful with my settings and the types of photos.

Yellowhammer09 · 13/05/2024 10:17

I do, but only on IG and FB which are both very locked down in terms of privacy. I have family spread far and wide, and this way they occasionally get an update about what the kids are doing.

I'd never post anything which might be seen as embarrassing for them when they grow up a bit. Snapshots of sweet daily life only!

Chocolatepeanutbuttercupsandicecream · 13/05/2024 10:10

The thing is, the mumsnet demographic is broadly older, better educated, more middle class, mums. Those aren’t the ones who are generally posting their children’s lives all over social media. So you’re not really getting a representative response here to what happens across the wider population. If you look at this thread, probably 90% are either saying they don’t post or only post mindfully / occasionally, so you end up with a self selecting sample, and those who do post more are unlikely to admit it given some of the harsher comments.

romdowa · 13/05/2024 08:20

I rarely post my ds on social media , maybe the off shot from behind while he's walking , never his face , I don't allow anyone else to post him either. I'm just not comfortable with it.
I see a lot of people who really overshare their children online and either don't have their profiles private or have random people in their friends list. It's crazy really but I suppose people don't want to think about the consequences of it.

pamplemoussee · 13/05/2024 08:14

I don't post again just due to consent / I feel cherished photos of my dc are for close family and friends only, and can be shown to my DC when they're older without every other tom dick and Harry on my Facebook having seen them

Also just anything you post on the internet no matter how private it seems you don't really know who else could share something on etc so why would I knowingly do that ...

There is one person I know who was extremely judgemental about people posting their kids online - as they found it triggering due to infertility - now they're posting their son online all the time which I do find abit hypocritical !

entiawest · 13/05/2024 08:14

I think as @AnnieBuddyHere writes, people who do frequently post photos and other stuff about their kids must surely be doing it for some sort of approbation, however much they deny it. If you wanted to just show a photo to maybe a relative or friend you rarely see, surely you would send in a private message not on your insta or FB? Lots of people have 50 or 100 friends or more on their social media, you can't possibly know who ultimately may be able to access these images and info.

Maybe people aren't specifically doing it for the number of 'likes' or comments but it must be for some sort of recognition exposing your children's lives like that otherwise why put it out there? Many parents don't seem to think through the reality of the digital footprint they're imposing on their child. Once a person can make an informed choice then it's up to them how much, if any, of their life they want to put online but until then their right to privacy should be respected

professionalnomad · 13/05/2024 00:24

I don't post any pictures online of my kids because I believe it's up to my kids as they get older how much they want to share of themselves online. Not me. I work as a secondary teacher and tl am deeply uncomfortable enthusiasm the levels of trolling and cyberbullying that seem to be the norm these days. I don't want to add fuel to any future fires

orangeleopard · 12/05/2024 23:10

I don’t judge people who post on private social media accounts where it’s just friends and family that they know, but when people post on public accounts or accounts they have random people on - it’s not ok and you’re exploiting your child. I don’t post my child at all, as I think the whole concept is a bit odd. I send photos to family and friends privately.

It stresses me out when people post their children’s entire birthday, full name and what school they go to. Then they have that god awful trend on Facebook where people ask their kids questions about their ‘favourites’ and the parents post all their kids interests. Strangers can get all this information and it could be so dangerous - so why take the risk??!

catlady7 · 12/05/2024 22:46

FilthyforFirth · 12/05/2024 21:48

Is that not what whatsapp is for? Sorry, still seems to be for the likes.

No it's not. I don't care about the likes at all. Really sad that people do post for that but I really don't.

bakewellbride · 12/05/2024 22:40

For me it depends on the age of the child. If they're older and can understand/ consent then fine. If they're little kids then I disagree.

My kids are 5 and 2 and have never been posted online, no pic, not even a mention of a name. Absolutely nothing. It is up to them when they are old enough to decide for themselves about an online presence. It should always be the child's choice and that's why I judge.

AnnieBuddyHere · 12/05/2024 22:25

RadioGaGaRadioGooGoo · 12/05/2024 21:41

I post my kids all the time, on both Insta and Facebook. They both also get posted on the childminders page which is completely open, and DS is in the school video which is again public. I don't have a problem with them been on SM.

I don't judge those who don't want theirs online though do whatever is best for you.

I don't judge those who don't want theirs online though do whatever is best for you.

I think this is the problem.

Parents are doing what's best for them and getting an ego rub from the likes/hearts.

It's not best for the children.

alovelynight · 12/05/2024 21:53

Yes I do, however I know every single person that I have added to my accounts. Both my Facebook and instagram are fully private with none of her photos available to see publicly. Before she was born I went through and removed anyone I didn't know as I knew I'd want to post photos of her and didn't want strangers looking at her.

FilthyforFirth · 12/05/2024 21:48

catlady7 · 12/05/2024 19:29

Because my friends and family like to see her.

Is that not what whatsapp is for? Sorry, still seems to be for the likes.

RadioGaGaRadioGooGoo · 12/05/2024 21:41

I post my kids all the time, on both Insta and Facebook. They both also get posted on the childminders page which is completely open, and DS is in the school video which is again public. I don't have a problem with them been on SM.

I don't judge those who don't want theirs online though do whatever is best for you.

ASimpleLampoon · 12/05/2024 20:55

I put up photos occasionally, on special days , when one has an event or a show. In laws are overseas and as I am NC with my family this is The only way I have to keep in touch with those I still have contact with.

My account is private and I don't have loads on my friends list

Giraffesandbottoms · 12/05/2024 20:12

crumbpet · 12/05/2024 19:49

Yes please watch this and make your own mind up

I don’t know why but this video has always felt really off-putting to me in a way which detracts from its valuable message

hot2trotter · 12/05/2024 20:12

I do on my private FB but I only have about 40 friends - made up of family and close friends.
I do question (to myself) those who have open FB's and continue to share everything their children do but.. not my circus, not my monkeys.

IamSlave · 12/05/2024 19:58

I've stopped I did when they were younger.
I know someone who has quite a public role and she's always using the dc as a prop.

I find it deeply uncomfortable and part of a feeling of mother earth to 20 thousand insta viewer

Ladyj84 · 12/05/2024 19:52

I don't judge but can't be bothered with fbook or others so if people know me they can call and see us personally lol

crumbpet · 12/05/2024 19:49

smc2023 · 12/05/2024 09:51

I don't post pictures of my children, husband or myself on social media. I don't even have social media never found it appealing but have never judged others who did as I just never really thought much about it. However at my DCs's school recently they shared this video and changed forever how I feel about it. Won't give my opinion but do watch just food for thought at the very least.

Yes please watch this and make your own mind up

Pin0cchio · 12/05/2024 19:46

The only social media i use is Facebook, infrequently, mainly for a healthcare support group that i value.

I have my profile set to private, and don't have that many "friends" on there - only really people i know quite well.

I have posted the odd snap eg a holiday photo etc. Its maybe twice a year at most. I find it odd when people report constantly on their kids lives.

FrothyCothy · 12/05/2024 19:43

This thread has prompted me to go through my followers on insta and delete any that I’m no longer in contact with in real life. My account is private anyway but it had been a while since I looked at who was following. I don’t post kid photos on insta very often (it’s mostly the dog). Do post on Facebook though, I love having the memories come up over the years. But am more likely to post a funny thing they’ve said than a photo.

Scaredycat259 · 12/05/2024 19:42

I do, but my Facebook is only visible to friends.

SherlockHomies · 12/05/2024 19:41

The hypocritical thing is, I know so many adults who would hit the roof if someone posted a photo of them without their permission, even just on a night out.

Let alone if they were sick or vulnerable at the time.