Y6 teacher and death of parent

I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand the guilt but honestly, you need time and space to heal.
I am sure you've worked hard to get them to a good place to take the tests, and I'm also sure there'll be a colleague who has a good rapport with your class that could check in on them and support them along with a supply this week.
Your class will be fine OP, trust me. Please look after yourself ❤️‍🩹

You can self certify for 7 days. Only then do you need a sick note.

SATS are not as important as demonstrating to kids that we are not robots and it’s absolutely ok to take time out to grieve.

Being bereaved does strange things to your brain. You can't think straight, you make weird decisions, you find yourself doing odd things, you lose the ability to concentrate on anything. And most of the time you don't realise this till much later.

Bereavement leave is not just a kindness, it's there because you may be genuinely unable to do your job.

You would have done all the teaching In preparation for the test so the import part is done. It doesn't matter what job you do the death of a loved one needs to take time off work it wouldn't be right to go back to work in my opinion. Take time for yourself and process what's happened and I'm very sorry for your loss 💐

Sorry I voted yabu because I took your message about teacher guilt and should be there meaning you were actually considering going in. Just in case you interpret that to mean I would think you were unreasonable to consider staying off.

Sp sorry for your loss, but school will be able to cope.

Primary headteacher here. I would expect you not to be in and would likely send you home if you came in. However, there's no denying that it's a headache and so I'd appreciate as much notice as possible to make a plan. Please don't go in.

Of course you can’t go in. In Jewish and the week after death you sit shiva so there would be no question of having the time off. Who would even expect that?

I'm a teacher; take the time off. The pupils will be fine, they will find cover. That's management's job to worry about.

It's a job; I think teacher guilt and over-dedication are a big part of why many 'burn out' in the job.

I'm sorry about your dad. Look after yourself.

Take the time off. There’s no way I couldn’t have worked following my mums death- take the time you need to.
I’m so sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you have people around you who you can lean on at this awful time.

As for school, every head I've worked for would not expect me in. They'd send me flowers and tell me not to give sats a second thought.

Let the head do their job while you grieve and sort things out. Try to message them today if you can to give them time to arrange what they need to arrange. Then give it no more thought. Family first, always.

Take good care of yourself.

💐

Edit: you don't need to be signed off for the first 5 days of illness. You self certify. If you feel you need more, then go to the GP.

I lost my dad this weekend too OP. I'm not going back to work this week and don't think anyone would expect it.

I'm sorry for your loss. You can self-certificate for a few days then get signed off if you need to.

He was your Father, take time off to process his passing without guilt. Work is really not that important and the kids will be fine.

Just telling the GP that you've just had a bereavement will be enough . . .

💐

Hmm I think I’d be inclined to go in tbh, I’m the sort of person who prefers the distraction. I’d explain to the headteacher that I’d like to take the days leave straight after. I really don’t think there’s a wrong or right, just depends on how much you can cope with right now

Perhaps I'm wrong, but I don't think the OP is concerned about the children not doing well (cf the 'these tests aren't important' comments) but is just being a caring teacher and worrying about how the children will be emotionally, and wants to be there to support them. Primary teachers can become very attached to their classes (as I'm sure secondary teachers can too).

Having said that OP, I think we sometimes overstate how much the children need us! I've had to take over from a teacher on sick leave during SATS week. It was great and the children were fine. I became the familiar face that week instead (they did already know me). It was very very doable. Some schools make you feel like you should never be off. Sometimes it is unavoidable. You are grieving and will probably need a chunk of time off. It's up to the headteacher to sort that out so contact them shortly.

I went back to work the day after my dad died, because I didn't want to leave the kids (mfl teacher, speaking exams week).
It was a mistake and I should have just been off.
So sorry for your loss.

I voted YABU because you shouldnt be considering going in. Absolutely take the time off xx

You've done the hard bit; the teaching. Other school staff can easily administer the tests.

It would be worse for the DC if you went in upset. They don't need to be worrying about you as well as SATs.

The HT may well be pissed off. Tough. It just shows they're not a compassionate person.

You have to do what is right for you. When our dad died on a Thursday. My sister and I had been with him since the Monday. I had already been signed off for a month to care for him. My sister who teaches was dipping in and out as she could. She went back to work on the Monday. She wanted to be busy. It helped her. And school had been very supportive every time there was a crisis she was there. I work in palliative services. My employer was also very understanding during dad's illness. I took the month off I had been signed off for. It was the right thing for me to do be kind to yourself.

You need to put yourself first at this very sad time, OP. There isn't any job I can think of that should exempt you from having some time to grieve

So sorry for your sad loss, OP . . . wishing you all the best

💐

Your long term mental health is much more important than sats. Please take the time you need.

It’s a personal thing some people the distraction of work would help them

others quite simply couldn’t function

Contact the head asap it’s far better to say you won’t be in so they can organise things rather than going in then having to come home

kids will be fine