Y6 teacher and death of parent

So very sorry for your loss.
Please look after yourself and take time away from school. I regret that I went back before I was ready to face a class after my Dad died.
Teaching is a difficult enough job without personal grief added to the mix.

Sorry for your loss.

I understand your concerns, but you need time to grieve and the children will undertake that.

At the end of the day they are more important things than SATS, you wellbeing is one of them.

Your school will manage.

You'll also be teaching the children a life lesson too, which is nothing is more important than your own well being and even super heros need to put themselves first sometimes. 💐

Just to add, you have the significance of SATS completely out of proportion if you think they trump you looking after yourself in this time of grief. If you think the children will be too stressed to deal with these tests without you, the school has done you and them a disservice by putting such pressure on all of you.

Take some time off if you need to. I don't feel that taking a few days off really makes any difference to how you grieve because grieving is a long process which changes and develops over time and eventually you need to fit your grief in alongside the rest of your life. But if you need space to process the immediate emotions then definitely take some time off work.

And you know = even if this was GCSEs or A levels, then it's fine to prioritise yourself.
Let alone SATs - which are ultimately not significant or make/break for children.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please take the time off.

Please tell your headteacher/slt. They'd need to be a very unpleasant type of person to not realise the impact the death of your parent will ab e in you.

Telling them as soon as you can gives them chance to put things in place. There just be other teaching staff your class are familiar with and with some juggling then plans can be out in place before Monday - last year's teacher, a HLTA who regular does PPA cover in your place, a member of SLT, a familiar TA to support in class, etc.

Sometimes you have to put yourself first. You are human. Right now you are an adult child grieving the loss of a loved parent. And that is allowed to come first.

Very sorry for your loss. You need time to grieve.

Don't give it a second thought and take the time off - as much as you need. As a teacher you are never indispensable. The children won't mind, someone else can look after them. It really doesn't matter. I'm so sorry for your loss but I think you'll really regret it for the rest of your life if you don't put your life before the job. I'm speaking as a teacher and I have taught Y6.

There is no reason the OP should feel guilt. But she said that she did. And I understand because I am like that with my work, I’d find feeling like I’m letting people down hanging heavy on me. I manage loads of people and I’d be happy with them doing whatever felt right FOR THEM.

I'm going to go against the grain here and say maybe you should go in for the tests. Not for the schools sake or the kids, or the head, but for you. Speak to the head and ask if you can pop in and out as needed and as you feel up to it. Little windows of normality in the grief might be helpful.
Take care OP and sorry for your loss.

You can sign yourself off for the first week anyway - see how you feel by Wednesday ..

Personally when my dad died, after a week I needed the distraction. (My dads death was sudden but not unexpected due to various health conditions).

i think I’m repeating what a lot of others have already said.
I am also a Year 6 teacher and understand why you even had the thought of coming in.
please don’t go in and take the time to grief. If you were my colleague, I would make sure that everything is managed at school and tell you not to worry about anything at all.
The children will sit the tests and get the mark they get.
You only have one dad and I think you deserve to be able to grief with your family for him.
please don’t go in.

As a year 6 parent I’d say, take the time off.

I’m a parent and a teacher who line manages staff. Please take the time off. You are more important than the job.

I'm so sorry for your loss. You are a lovely caring teacher but you need to put yourself first. The HT will have to sort it - it is their job as the senior leader. Send a message of good luck and love to your students - you don't have to say why. Take as much time as you need x

You need to take time off.

You've already done the work that will get the children good results. They will be fine without you this week because the school will need to ensure that the tests go ahead just as if you were there. It's up to your headteacher to put plans in place to cover your absence.

I'm so sorry for your loss. There's zero chance I could have gone into work the week my mum died. Your Head will have to fill the gap - that's his job (and I say this as HOD of a large dept secondary school, who very regularly has to deal with the logistics of staff being out of school for a variety of reasons, and various lengths of time).

So sorry for your loss.

Just explain the situation but you might not need to. In the NHS you get special leave from the date of the death to the date of the funeral, after that you need a sick note.

Look after yourself. You will be on an emotional roller coaster for a while. 💐

You need to do what’s right for you
not school, headteacher or kids
only you know how you feel
let them know early tomorrow or today and take each day as it comes

If you belong to a union, make contact with them just as a bit of back up if the school starts being difficult.
Don't feel pressured to go in. You are being responsible for staying off.

I'm sorry for your loss 💐. I work in a school too and went back too soon after my dad passed away. I thought it would help and ended up crying in front of the children. Take the time you need and don't worry about SATS as I'm sure your head will be able to get another member of staff to support - you should be entitled to a week of bereavement leave. Take care X

They've passed or failed already with the work you've done over the last year/4 years. It won't make a big difference now. Just look after yourself x

Of course you don't go to work! This is not even a question. No need to feel guilty.

Y6 teacher here too. In the kindest possible way, if you were my colleague and you went to work this week, I'd wonder what on earth you were doing in!!

If the children aren't ready now, they probably never will be so you have already done your bit.

As SLT, I'd immediately tell you to take some time off. If your head is that unsympathetic, I'd seriously be looking at leaving. If he is moaning about it, that is outrageous. Presumably he'll be in with the kids anyway this week - he can bloody supervise them!!

I'm so sorry for your loss. Take some time to grieve - just tell the doctor what's happened and they will sign you off.