Y6 teacher and death of parent

Most places I know you don’t go in for at least 2-3 days after a parent’s death.

Years ago my dad died suddenly and young. I was on a year’s maternity contract and took 2-3 days off but I think now I should’ve had at least a week or two off. They’d have arranged other cover for me though my direct boss suggested bereavement counselling (his wife was one). It really knocked me for six and we weren’t even that close.

I’d take as long as you need to take over this. Sorry for your loss. If necessary I’d go to someone like the deputy head if they’re more sympathetic than the head is, but you really don’t need guilt tripping over this. My DM was a teacher for many years and as PPs have said, they can be unappreciated so I’d look after your own mental and physical wellbeing at a time like this.

Are you needed for invigilating? Most of the week will be spent in exams and its only very poor heads who expect cramming in SATS week.

OP I'm so sorry.
SATS week should mean it's actually quite easy to cover you, as there's no actual teaching.
I was a teacher in a primary school for 13 years so I know how disgustingly leadership will manipulate the "for the good of the kids" to get you to ignore your own life priorities in favour of work, often in your own and unpaid time. Don't do it. If the kids don't know it by now, it's too late anyway.

Compassionate leave, 100%. I’m a nurse and I was off for 3 weeks when my Dad was on ITU and then 4 weeks after he died because I just couldn’t function as a human, let alone as a nurse. I needed those 7 weeks to rebuild myself a little bit.

I’m so sorry for your loss

I haven't read all the replies but I see most people agree with me that you should stay off work. Of course you should.

You feel guilty because you're a good teacher, and the children are important to you. This is also great. It shows you're meant for the job.

There are plenty other staff who can take care of the kids, but if it makes you feel better, could you record a video message to send to them? Or even just write something down. Tell them that you believe in them, they're amazing, but that you can't be with them this week. It's up to you if you tell them why. Perhaps tell them you're not well or something if you don't want to share.

Take the time to take care of yourself. You'll be a better teacher when you return for having taken the time to do this x

I think I speak for us all when I say that SATS are bullshit.
however, will it help you to be busy maybe? I’m sorry for your loss

I had a head teacher like this. Twenty years ago I missed my fil’s funeral because I was told I could not have another day off - I had had two because he was dying and he lived in a different country from us. It is something I have always regretted and I urge you to put yourself first. Your sacrifices will never be remembered in teaching, believe me. Thirty eight years done and I have seen it all.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Don't ring in sick though. Tell the truth.

This! With 💐

Please look after yourself - take time off, then find a new job your HT is disgusting 💐

You are completely replaceable. Your dad is not. Take bereavement leave.

Take the time that you need. Your Head can go whistle. No decent parent is going to begrudge you this time off. If you were ill, you would have no choice but to be off. This is just the same. Taking care of yourself right now will eliminate the need for a longer period of time off because the grief isn't managed and catches up with you.

1. They're tests that don't matter to the children (and any of us who have been teachers know this).
2. You've done all the preparation they need.
3. Other colleagues will ensure it all goes smoothly.
4. You've lost your DAD. This is time for you to take care of yourself and other loved ones.
5. Don't give SATs ANY more thought.

Please take time off. I’m a year 6 teacher and I would not (and def could not) go in to work and be useful after the death of a parent. The chn will be fine without you; in fact, if they see you are upset and not your usual self, it could wobble them. In a way, you’d be doing them a favour.
As teachers, we give so much of ourselves and time to work. It really is ok to be selfish and family IS important.

My child is taking his SATS this year.

I’d expect you to take the time off that you need.

So very sorry for your loss.
You need to take time off for yourself and to make necessary arrangements. If it were my kid in Y6, I would want you to do this.

Also, if you don’t take time for yourself now, you may end up taking even more time at a later date when it really hits. You.

Just get a phone appointment with GP and tell them you've just lost your father and cannot cope with being in front of a class at the present time. You can self certify for first 7 days so that takes some of the pressure off you.
I'm sorry for your loss, losing a parent is very hard

I'm sorry for your loss. You have to take the time off.

It really depends on how you feel. When my mum died I went back into work as a teacher six days later as it helped me cope by occupying my mind. Perhaps you feel you might be judged if you go in to work so soon or perhaps you need the time off to cope. Do what’s best for you.

Really sorry for your loss.
If you’re in work and not at 100% then you should staff off work. Some people like distraction of work and other don’t. Put yourself and your well being first. Your head teacher needs to value his staff and do what’s right for them and not just the students. Even if it is the first few days of this week take some time to process your emotions.

Ex SMT and advisory teacher here.
I'm sorry for your loss.
You go to be with your family this week. School will understand and won't expect you in.

I went back to work (not a teacher) just a couple of days after my dad died because I felt guilty about being off. I was a mess and had no business being there - they should have sent me home, but they didn't and I am still resentful about it now.

Take the time off. The school can get someone else to cover the SATS. You need to grieve.

If you have an app that you communicate with then if you're feeling Upto it maybe drop a message to them wishing them all good luck, that Miss can't come in but you know they'll smash it( or something similar).
Our school use seesaw so the kids can respond to their teachers messages.

The head has no right to be unpleasant about this. Your class and their parents will more than understand why you weren't in.
Of course to year 6 kids SATs are everything but you've prepared them as best you can and hopefully you have a TA that all the children are more than familiar with so whoever steps in, the kids will be fine.
Take the time off you need and don't give it another thought.

Take the time. You're still in shock and processing. I needed a month off work when mum died, and in hindsight longer would have been better. I'm just over a year in now, and just starting to feel more like me again.

Don't underestimate what grief can do to you physically. It's exhausting, all consuming and so, so painful. This is the time where you need looking after, by others and yourself.