Y6 teacher and death of parent

head Should have said ‘I’m so sorry for your loss, let me know if there’s anyway we can help. Don’t worry about the kids, it’s all in hand

you can’t go to work. I’m sure the head wouldn’t go to work if his parent passed.

I'm sorry for your loss.

And people wonder why teachers are quitting ... this shouldn't even be a question about needing some leave, but here you are having to stress and worry about what your headteacher will do/say.

op, I am so sorry for your loss.

However, please do not worry about being out of school this week. You have done all the teaching for those kids up until this point, someone else from the school can administer the actual tests. You are not letting the children or anyone else down.

Seriously, as a mum of 3 DC I would want you to take this time off.

Take it off and be prepared you will need longer. I lost my dad in Nov and took 2 months then a months phased return. It’s a really hard adjustment and you will likely find there is a lot to do this week/month. I’m sorry for your loss and your head should be supportive and nothing less xx

That is so utterly insensitive and plain awful. Sounds like the head is so married to the job/power hungry that he's lost his grip on reality. From my experience with working in schools, it's always the heads who roll their eyes and have something to say when staff have to take time off for completely legitimate reasons, that are off with a slight cold or when their best friend's neighbour's cat dies. I am so sorry for your loss. Please look after yourself and don't worry about work, as hard as that will be. I'm sure you've done a stellar job at getting your Y6s to where they need to be for SATs weeks and if they have even an ounce more compassion and empathy than your headteacher, they won't resent you for not being in. I would seriously consider taking this further and/or finding a new school if possible when you are feeling well enough to <3

A decent head would oversee the SATS. The dc will.all.be prepared by now anyway.

I have pm'd you 💐

It really would be an odd thing for anyone to be judgemental about you taking time off for grief like this OP.

And yes, your headteacher sounds awful, put him out your mind.

Sorry to read of your loss.

If your pupils are like most they will have prepared, practiced ad nauseam. They'll be fine without you. And if they aren't the sun will still come up tomorrow. No careers ruined.

Take time off as you need, see the doctors etc.

When my Dad's final illness and later his death my Head was fine - no notes needed. All sorted. As it was I didn't need more that a few odd days.

When I got the news, mid day, they told me to get off.

If all Heads were like this one of mine. (1 other may have been different.)

I'm so sorry for your loss.
You are perfectly entitled to do what you need to right now. The next few weeks will be busy and hard, and a good employer will understand that. The children will be fine, and the school will too.

I think that’s more to do with it wasn’t clear what the voting was (I didn’t vote because I didn’t know what was being asked).

My mother died recently, if I were a y6 teacher I wouldn’t be going in that week, the exams don’t depend on your being there.

I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. As a year 6 parent, please focus on yourself. You’ve put all the work in to get them to where they are now. You can’t take the tests for them and they’ll do just fine.
be Kind to yourself xx

As a parent I wouldn’t expect you in. But I know there are a lot of headteachers with unrealistic expectations. If you think going to work will be a good distraction and you can cope go with it. But more importantly you need to do what is right for you. I’m sure the teaching assistants/cover staff will manage without you.

Apologies OP I voted yabu in that I don't think you should even consider going in.

When my dad died I didn't think twice about sending my Head an email stating I would be off for a week. It meant a class going without parent's meetings and having to miss GCSE and A-Level classes but school were nothing but supportive.

That was over a year ago and I am not sure that I have completely got over his loss yet, it still hits you hard every so often. Please be kind to yourself.

Anyone can administer a test. It’s probably one of the easier weeks to put in a substitute. Yes, the sub will need to be briefed on special education plans and any behavior issues to watch out for, but it isn’t that plus a week of lesson plans.

So sorry for your loss - I voted YABU because I feel so sorry you are even hesitating about this - if you feel you can't be in work, you can't be in work, SATs or no SATS. (And I'm SLT). Take the time you need

I’m so sorry for your loss 🌷.

As a parent of children taking SATS next week, I promise you that your children will be ok. Please don’t hesitate to take as much time as you need. Unfortunately, there are no medals and no one will thank you. Please look after yourself and put yourself first.

Much love.

SATs week is actually an easy one to cover. No planning needed, all the hard work has already happened. One of the support staff would likely be just as capable of doing it as you. I know the teacher guilt but honestly this is a human first moment and any reasonable headteacher would keep their (understandable) "oh pants" thoughts to themselves and simply say they are sorry for your loss.

There was no shock for me but 2 years on, I'm struggling.

These things affect people differently.
When my Mum died on a Friday ,I was in school on the Monday. People couldn't understand it, but that was my way of coping.
You've got to do what's right and best for you.

Sorry for your loss.

You don't say how old your Dad was but it's obviously worse if a parent is younger as with very old parents it's expected and not so much a shock.

Everyone is different.
My DH went into work as normal when his Mum died (although it wasn't a surprise , she was in her 80s and she'd been ill for some time .)

Some people find that maintaining a routine helps, so long as they don't have to be hands-on with the funeral plans immediately. Or, having to support the surviving parent (which I think is more of an issue.)

A few days away is perhaps enough, but look after yourself.

Firstly - I am so sorry for your loss.
Next, I am pleased to see the update that you will be contacting your head teacher to let them know that you won't be in.
I thought there was a thing called Bereavement Leave (different to Sick Leave and also different to compassionate leave) but I'm not sure if it's paid or not in the UK.
This is what I came up with when I did a quick search on it:
https://www.acas.org.uk/time-off-for-bereavement

Depending on how close you were to your father, you may find a few days enough before you go back to work or you may need longer to process what has just happened. Give yourself that time and don't try to do more than you feel able to do.

Sending you lots of support to get through these first few days and the coming weeks and months ahead. Sending my condolences too to you and your family.

You go back when you are ready and not before (with in reason and terms of employment obviously). If you want to go in because you feel you should be with the children, go in, but the head 1) should not be a head if he can't cope with the idea of bereavement leave 2) should be able to cope with teachers being off whenever - after all if you'd got a bad fever or bad D&V he'd have to cope with you being off for the week. It's tough, on him and your class, but that's life sometimes. If he's that worried, he moves a teacher that's had your class further down the school to be with them for the week and a younger class, not doing SATS get a supply.