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Original poster

DP sits on soft furnishings with smelly post-run bum

54 replies

SmallGreenBabies · 11/05/2024 19:25

DP (who I love dearly, this is just for fun!) goes running a few times a week and says he can't shower as soon as he gets home as he's still sweating. Instead he sits down on the living room sofa/chair for a while to cool down before showering.

The problem is that DP, who doesn't normally smell, has an absolutely honking post-run butt. I'm worried that the smell will build up over time and the living room will stink. DP says I should chill out and he should be able to sit down in his own living room.

AIBU to ask him not to do that? How can we reach a compromise!?

OP posts:
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Clingfilm · 13/05/2024 07:06

TheCadoganArms · 12/05/2024 08:35

Please tell me you don't then use the teatowel for drying up?

Show quote history

It gets burned out the back 😁 na, straight in the washing machine, boiled.

Population51201 · 12/05/2024 08:45

Tell him you read something in the Guardian last week about sweat reacting with fire retardants in soft furnishings and traveling up arseholes to cause....... impotence/stupidity/loss of running performance/ anal clusterberries

AwfullyWeeBillyBigchin · 12/05/2024 08:41

Does he not wipe his arse properly? Or are good shorts so sweaty they're actually wet? If no, then you've probably got nothing to worry about.

TheCadoganArms · 12/05/2024 08:35

Clingfilm · 12/05/2024 08:34

Tell him not to!
Mine sits on a tea towel on a kitchen chair messing about with Strava while he cools down.

Please tell me you don't then use the teatowel for drying up?

Clingfilm · 12/05/2024 08:34

Tell him not to!
Mine sits on a tea towel on a kitchen chair messing about with Strava while he cools down.

Sunnyandsilly · 12/05/2024 08:26

This is the oddest thing. wtf do you mean his arse smells?

TheCadoganArms · 12/05/2024 08:24

MorrisZapp · 11/05/2024 23:19

Why aren't gyms full of people sitting on sofas before going for a post workout shower?

Gyms generally don't have sofas.
Gyms have industrial air conditioning
Most people I know who have just completed an intense work out spend 10 - 15 mins stretching out on the mats while cooling down.
Most people down the gym don't actually work very hard and spend half their time sitting on equipment scrolling through their social media so don't get sweaty.

MorrisZapp · 11/05/2024 23:19

Why aren't gyms full of people sitting on sofas before going for a post workout shower?

AutumnLeaves333 · 11/05/2024 23:16

I always sit on my back step with my post run electrolytes if I’m hot and sweaty after a run. Couldn’t cope being inside like that, and I definitely wouldn’t sit on my soft furnishings if I was sweaty!

TextureSeeker · 11/05/2024 23:13

LilyofftheValley · 11/05/2024 20:36

I don't understand why he can't shower straight away. Makes no sense.

I do find people make very odd excuses just to avoid showering or maintaining basic standards of hygiene.

Do you run? I went out for a run this evening and it was still pretty hot out, I was still pumping out sweat for a good 10mins after I got home. Your body doesn't suddenly turn off the sweating as soon as you stop running.

DorisDoesDoncaster · 11/05/2024 23:07

Feral cretin. Sorry, I know you love him. But good grief, just no.

CinnamonJellyBeans · 11/05/2024 22:42

@skeettch

"Arse bib": I am fucking howling at that one

DidILeaveTheGasOn · 11/05/2024 22:30

Is he wearing clean clothes for running? My ex dh would wear clean running clothes so by the end of his run, he'd smell like warm fabric conditioner. Is your dp wearing running gear multiple times?

NeedthatFridayfeeling · 11/05/2024 21:10

Gross, my husband is a runner, he wanders round the kitchen while he cools off. No way would he sit on the soft furnishings

Nowordsformethanks · 11/05/2024 21:07

Tagyoureit · 11/05/2024 19:32

Why are you sniffing your dh's arse as soon as he is back from a run?

I think you need a hobby!

Hahahaha Classic mumsnet! Never change.

ItsFuckingBoringFeedingEveryoneUntilYouDie · 11/05/2024 20:56

I always wait to cool down before showering after running. Otherwise, I get out of the shower and start sweating again. If you don't understand, try breaking into a proper sweat some time.

As for OP 's DH, turn the hose on him when he gets back.

betterangels · 11/05/2024 20:52

LilyofftheValley · 11/05/2024 20:36

I don't understand why he can't shower straight away. Makes no sense.

I do find people make very odd excuses just to avoid showering or maintaining basic standards of hygiene.

I'm with you. Doesn't make sense to me either.

pinkappleorpineapple · 11/05/2024 20:50

Haha fond memories of my mother directing my father to the kitchen after a run Amy time he tried to sit on the little sofa in the hallway.

I wouldn’t be up for sweat seeping into soft furnishings on a regular basis. Surely he could sit somewhere else before his shower (on the toilet if his bum is so smelly!)

vdbfamily · 11/05/2024 20:48

I still cannot erase the poo crumbs thread from my memory, and now this!

FiatEarth · 11/05/2024 20:46

Get some of this up his area crack and around his ball sack

amzn.eu/d/3cRW91v

TheCadoganArms · 11/05/2024 20:41

LilyofftheValley · 11/05/2024 20:36

I don't understand why he can't shower straight away. Makes no sense.

I do find people make very odd excuses just to avoid showering or maintaining basic standards of hygiene.

I get the whole wait to cool down before showering thing as you can still be sweating 10+ mins after you have stopped exercising. Just don't sit on soft furnishings while you wait to cool down.

Cas112 · 11/05/2024 20:38

His bum smells? 😂

LilyofftheValley · 11/05/2024 20:36

I don't understand why he can't shower straight away. Makes no sense.

I do find people make very odd excuses just to avoid showering or maintaining basic standards of hygiene.

tennesseewhiskey1 · 11/05/2024 20:31

Yuck that sounds so fucking gross. Why are you even smelling his arse.

skeettch · 11/05/2024 20:30

My STBXH used to sit down on the edge of our bed after a long bike ride and literally leave an arse shaped sweat patch on the covers.

So it's definitely a thing.

And all the 'throw a towel down' people should be advising that he should throw a towel down, not you, he's not five and you're not his Mum providing an arse bib for him.

Tell him to stop being such a disrespectful skank.

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