To think partner's comment was unreasonably nasty??

I think you're overreacting to be honest. He made an ill thought out comment but it's hardly excessively rude or nasty. To be honest, the fact that you were so triggered by it suggests you need some support in addressing the issues you faced in your childhood with your grandparents.

It was rude. He could've just said ' I got you cutlery', without the put down.

Stunned at these answers, I wouldn’t remotely see this as rude, just a light hearted comment in this context.

Asking ‘Are you blind?’ is rude imo

Trying to imagine a scenario where it wouldn’t sound rude – perhaps if someone was really incredulous about something and could hardly believe the other person couldn’t see [x] – said in a tone of incomprehension

In your scenario, sounds rude, whatever tone it was said in. Possible it was just misjudged rather than used in a knowingly disrespectful way

Perhaps as pps have suggested, he had a ‘blind spot’ himself about the nuances of this phrase. Although it could also be that he’s a bit of an arse. I’d give him the benefit of the doubt but bear it in mind if he makes other comments in future

You don't need any 'magical insight' though.
He said he didn't realize. OP thinks this is bullshit, and that he did it on purpose.
Ultimately, none of us are mind readers , the only person who knows for sure is him. But OP asked.. so we offer our opinion.
As PP have pointed out, it's a highly probable mistake, linguistically. Also he was smiling as he said it.
If he had said for example 'you're a fat bitch' - highly unlikely.

Therefore, many people have voted YABU. Unless the OP says that he regularly makes these mistakes or puts her down in other ways, there's no reason to assume the worst, as she has done.

A few people have said that it's not a rude comment even for a native English speaker , not a lot of posters IMO.

OP, given all that you have said, I don't think your bf meant any harm or disrespect to you on this occasion.

@mybeautifulhorse I lived in Greece for a few years and I have Greek friends here in the UK now, and your portrait of your friend strikes me as very typical and true to the Greek way of doing things.

British people apologise and say please and thank you far too much according to the Greek ear!

When I first lived there I would see and hear a group of Greeks interacting and think "OMG something is about to really kick off, they're tearing strips off each other" but soon learned they were probably just discussing the local bus timetable 😀

I cringe when people say "are you blind/deaf?" My husband is deaf and I work with blind people so to me it sounds horribly ableist.

I'd go for the new house. Having nice neighbours is priceless. You will have an amazing asset that you can always sell. Nothing is forever.

It could be an idiomatic expression in his language.

It is in mine and it's not used aggressively or negatively.

In fact, in my (European romance) language it's a common expression used by parents when speaking to children and it's said with fondness, on par with "silly billy it's right in front of your nose"

I don't think you've said what nationality he is, but I have a very good friend who is Greek. Her English is excellent and she's lived in the UK for over a decade.

She can sometimes be very... blunt, to the point of rudeness. She's vary plain speaking I suppose and you don't often get a please or thank you from her. What he said is exactly the sort of thing she would say, I can picture her saying it.

All that said, I know she really cares about me and she says this is just the Greek way of being very blunt. I don't know any other Greek people so I'll take her word for it, but one time she actually did offend me (I'm quite thick skinned generally!) and I called her out on it - she was mortified and so apologetic that she had hurt me, she really was very sorry. That made me realise that she doesn't actually mean anything by it when she's rude, and is just being the way she is really. I know her well now and she's really a very kind and generous person, just someone who outwardly isn't very mannerly.

So it could be that sort of thing? Where he's just naturally blunt and it felt quite jarring but he had no mean intentions with it. I'd give him another chance.

It sounds like he thought it was a lighthearted comment and he just misjudged the language. I’m assuming he didn’t say it aggressively?
I’m bilingual and sometimes get things a little bit wrong in both languages. Nothing major, but just slightly ‘off’ and I don’t quite communicate exactly what I was intending to.

My DH's English is also very very good. He has no hint of an accent and people assume he's British. When he says English is his second language, no one believes him! He came here at 18, so has spent more than half his life here. However, he still very occasionally says things that sound odd or rude (without meaning to). It's very easy to do when you weren't raised here.

He clearly didn’t mean it to be rude, and I think you’re being hypersensitive.

I speak more than one language. I don’t think that gives me magical insight into the specifics of how good OP’s partner’s English is and whether he understood the potential rudeness of what he was saying or not, which is the relevant point here. A lot of posters also seem to be responding as if it wouldn’t be a rude comment from a native speaker, which I disagree with.

It was rude and I would be hurt too if my husband said that to me. I know he would not have meant to hurt me but this IS rude.

If anyone said this to me I would find it rude and I can't imagine a context when it wouldn't be, so YANBU. At best it indicates irritation, at worst it's nasty.

I don't like the sound of him. Remember, you can have your own boundaries, you don't need other people to approve them. If being spoken like that is unacceptable to you, that's enough reason to step away from this man, or treat him with caution.

It all depends on the tone of voice and the type of smile.

Maybe because many of us speak more than one language!
BTW some things are almost universally rude... insults towards one's family, especially their mum, for example.
Blindness vs 'not seeing'.. no...

Well he explained what happened and it doesn't sound like he meant it nastily. Tbh you sound quite hard work. It's awful that you witnessed emotional abuse growing up but does it mean no partner can ever make a light hearted comment without you being offended.
DH and I say things like that all the time and just laugh it off. Do you think you might benefit from some help to try and deal with what happened to you during childhood (not just because you were upset by his comment but because it sounds like you are still very affected by it).

“Are you blind” is used as an (abilist!) insult in British English, which but doesn’t really translate to other cultures. If he said “didn’t you see” instead would you have felt upset?

My DH is American. Two cultures separated by a shared language, as they say. We’ve had some very confusing upsets, and we only have cultural differences not translation issues. You do need to learn to roll with misunderstandings sometimes when you’re with someone from a different background.

Obviously, it’s possible he was being an arse. But it doesn’t sound like it from what you’ve put here.

Now that you've told him it's hurtful if he does it again then that's an issue. Since its the first time I think it's fine as a lot of people would just take it as a joke.

Said with a smile on his face suggests it was a joke said with fondness. If he'd scowled and shoved the original set in your face I would agree he was being nasty. But said lightly with a smile I would have just laughed and said 'I thought we needed two!' I think it shows a level of intimacy between you where he feels he can joke with you, and I would look on that as a good thing. But as you've had a traumatic past I think it would be a good idea to have a chat with him about you being sensitive to comments that he knows are a joke but you think are insults, so that he takes care not to offend you.

I really wouldn't say it's "incredibly rude and hurtful". It may be a perfectly acceptable phrase in his language or he misunderstood the British sense of humour. My DH is foreign and sometimes says things that are a little off. He assumes they're OK because he thinks the British are always joking about.
I think you're being over-sensitive.