To think the level of state involvement many posters expect is bonkers?

Everyone has a phone and everyone has the internet. Everyone is able to google, easily, potty training guidelines or how to brush their child’s teeth. Just as everyone is able to google screen time advice or dietary advice.

it is not hard. People just do not give a fuck to do it.

and some people know and are “too busy”.

I have known children who are unable to function properly in school due to home circumstances such as not having a table or even a pen at home to do homework. Also teenagers who don't know how to use a knife and fork to eat with. There will always be instances where stepping in is crucial.
Some people just shouldn't have children. Ever.

Well that’s fine in principle but these things require more administration for the paediatrician and school nurse etc. I have been through this because we had to make a complaint re the school and it’s several months to see the school nurse and huge delay to get the paediatricians input/ letter. So that will create more issues for parents who are already battling with SEN provision in EHCP’s etc. Ultimately a redraft of the EHCP

I can assure you that I sent my daughter to school aged 4 able to read and write and she learnt pretty much nothing in reception and she was most certainly dry by aged 2! She’s now off to Big 4 as a graduate entry.

However my son could not even swallow for the first couple of years of life, had diagnosed hypotonia and resulting bowel issues. As it was we had to go to ERIC for advice and finally the school nurse rang after several months… we provided all necessary gloves/ wipes and change. It was pretty awful and really humiliated my son. The school was just not equipped for that sort ot thing and at the time he only had 1:1 in the am.

Even when he was on movicol at times it was not pretty - we kept him home for the 2 week diarrhoea changeover of meds as no way could school cope.

In reality there should be separate provision for high intelligent ASD and then there would be more capability to deal with issues like low tone/ constipation etc The only choice for
that for us was a private SEN school some 50 miles away requiring huge fees and taxi - which we did not want. But that cost to the tax payer at today rates including transport would be about £70,000. So we saved the public money persevering with the unfit for purpose mainstream system.

I was at the breast clinic the other day - never ideal. I had to wait 40 minutes or so before being seen which was totally acceptable in my view. This one woman kept going up and complaining how others who came in after her were being seen. The receptionist calmly told her that they were seeing different consultants. Still she whinged. It’s free, you’re lucky to get it.

To be entirely fair, had my children's teachers communicated that school was going to take responsibility for my children's tooth brushing, I'd have told them to stuff off. We had to back away from the Head such was their halitosis - their front teeth were noticeably delayed too.

Mouhahaha!!!! This had me belly laughing.

they will ask parents to send their children with a toothbrush and toothpaste. Put the child name on the toothbrush and toothpaste. Probably have to follow the colors of the school…no glitter, bows or spiderman on it please. Please practice at home.

children will be leaving school 30min later than usual because of this which will break avoc lots of parents timetables and probably causing lots of issues.

that is what happens when schools are doing parents stuff.

I don’t agree.

@EasternStandard

False economy is why state dependancy is so high now.

Cutting public services funding, and privatising a lot of it so it's now run on a shoestring by private companies (who despite the shoddy service provided and poorly paid staff, get millions for the contract).

That means people don't get effective and timely help. Which means they end up in worse circumstances, more of a crisis, poorer health, and in need of more help than they originally did.

As a result of the false economy, higher numbers of people end up dependant on the state, and with more costly needs, and are dependant for longer periods of time.

(as we do we all)

Do you? Well it’s higher now that’s the issue we face.

The inability or refusal to understand false economy is mind boggling (and depressing).

They want less state dependancy (as we do we all) but think it can be achieved by wishful thinking and a hefty amount of kicking someone when they're down. Plus ignoring the (often large) role luck plays in life. Shit happens sometimes, however strong someone's 'work ethic' and 'personal responsibility is.

Poorly funded public services mean people don't get timely and effective support, so they end up in a bigger mess, worse circumstances, and in need of more or longer term help.

I'm no expert on Singapore but one thing I do know is that they have much, much higher availability of the equivalent of council/social housing than we do. It may not be luxurious but it is a priority for the state.

Yep. About 80% of Singapore housing is public housing.

A third of a pint. Half a pint would have been even worse!!

@RosesAndHellebores This happened last week

Someone i know has just had cataract surgery in his right eye and nowhere in the initial NHS letter or texts or phone calls did it say he couldnt drive for a week afterwards, They didnt tell him that till AFTER the procedure. So now he is stuck at home with very low gas and electric because he cant drive to corner shop to top up.
Why cant he walk??? Because he is still waiting for his knee replacement to be done by same NHS and his mobility is fucked due to the (so far) five year wait.
If they had let him know about the not driving BEFORE the procedure he would have topped up extra beforehand. Oh and hes retired so i guess they thought it didnt matter that he couldnt drive for a week despite his limited mobility.

You want to punish people?
It will simply make things worse.

Very interesting, thank you for sharing

Warm semi sour half pint bottles with a straw. Yes some of us really hated it.

This makes me incredibly sad and angry. How fucking dare people have children and not look after them.

No. That’s why, as I’ve said repeatedly, I think people should be financially penalised for not doing basic shit like looking after the children they chose to have.

can’t be trusted to spend child benefits on stuff for your child? Get food vouchers and items instead.

@taxguru that only applies to young people. For anyone above mid twenties(?) it does still apply to the amount of pension we receive.

@MistressoftheDarkSide

The full state pension is means tested to a degree. It depends on how much NI you've paid in your lifetime.

No, it's bears no relationship at all to how much NIC you've paid.

It's based on "credits" and you can earn credits in numerous ways, such as being a carer for, say, a young child, being unemployed, being a low earner or part timer earning above the lowest NI earnings threshold but not earning enough to pay NIC, etc.

All the "earnings related" state pension schemes have been closed down, such as SERPS, S2P, etc., so there is no longer any relationship between paying NICs and your state pension.

I didn't suggest cutting taxes. I actually said increasing taxes, but across the board, not just "someone else".

I disagree: I don’t see any more literacy from arguments on higher state dependency. It’s high already and I’d say at the limits of being so.

How high would that state dependency be before you thought it problematic? In terms of the ratio

Plus if you do want to tax more to fund the state expenditure then where from and what impact does that have?

The full state pension is means tested to a degree. It depends on how much NI you've paid in your lifetime. I for one will never qualify. So pension credit was introduced to reflect that there are a good number like me who won't qualify but will starve and be homeless in their dotage. If you have managed to squirrel away a bit, above a certain threshold pension credit is tapered if you qualify, in line with other benefits.

The elderly are expected to sell their homes to pay for residential care, which, despite inflated house prices, can eat up the price of an average home in a very short space of time. Those who need residential care are usually at a point where family, with the best will in the world, cannot keep them safe or adequately cared for even if they sacrifice their job to do so. Been there, done that and staring down the barrel if my second rodeo on that front.

And add to that the encouragement of children to move elsewhere for work and plenty of people are in a pretty pickle.

That's before you even look at the shambles of elderly care and the joys of fluctuating capacity where the rights of the elderly Trump their safeguarding because they're allowed to make unwise decisions.... welcome to the brick wall I've been banging my head against for approaching 6 months due to my elderly parents current situation.

Not every elderly person has come out if the property boom with a house to sell, even if they did work hard / try hard. Market crashes also impacted some who tried to make provision for themselves through private pensions only to see companies go to the wall taking their money with them.

Yet another big picture that people don't want to look at in its entirety.

And being honest, I think the arguments for cutting taxes on this thread are economically illiterate. They are the kind that appeal to people who have no understanding of the economy and how to improve it.

@taxguru If this is just about taxes, then ignoring public health and parenting is not the best approach. We know investment in early years saves money. Having people in prison and in care is incredibly expensive.

I think the state should be giving out clear potty training advice and saying clearly that young children and most SEN children can be potty trained young. And perhaps schools should be saying that unless there is a diagnosed medical reason, they will not be changing nappies.