Ex having new baby

@Theunamedcat , my ex did the same , his shiny new family were much more important than dd 1 , thankfully she never met his partner and child .

Agreed and the fact is that the ex is being pretty irresponsible fathering a child with someone he has been with for a short period of time. The point of this thread though is that op doesn’t have a right to object to what he does with his life now that they’re no longer together.

You could focus on what your ex has done. I don’t think it’s just the short time line on another baby but all the titting around and having sex with you while having no plans to be together which has really messed with your head.
or you could focus on how well you have done to get past PND, bring up your daughter and get through this. You could congratulate yourself on being rid of a guy who doesn’t sound very reliable.
you can’t change or control what he does. Only how you respond to it.

If you broke up during pregnancy then that's almost 3 years since your break up. Of course he has the right to move on, although I'm so sorry things haven't ended up as you planned given how long you were together

It will effect her though? Financially he will pay less in maintenance physically he is going to have his hands full just how was he expecting to deal with the situation? Stick his fingers in his ears and sing? It's happening and he should have the courtesy to talk about the practicalities of the situation is he going to not be able to take her overnight as often does he have a plan for when she is in labour if it falls on his night?

Messy behaviour icky

And I understand you feeling she has what should be your life my ex moved on and replaced his daughter he stopped seeing her because it was easier on him not to see her she was apparently "difficult" and "attention seeking" (ie a toddler) so he quit seeing her and stuck to his new family

It's fine we were fine without him

Oh I agree he should have told you 100%. He simply doesn’t have to though.

I don’t think that’s true. She might be cautioned that it was unwise, or she was being foolish. But not unreasonable. In addition the situations are not isomorphic. The woman has physical involvement in the pregnancy that a man doesn’t have do a second baby “costs” her More dearly than it costs a man. She is also the custodial parent with full time responsibility for the first infant so she doesn’t have time for the second.

The ex and his girlfriend are on a different timeline. Perhaps she is older snd time is running out. Perhaps he has discovered she is the love of his life, ir he had cancer, or he feared having more fertility problems. A blanket “this is Bu or NBU “ simply can’t be issued.

You’re right that your child will have a sibling and this is important. Just keep the way you are feeling to yourself and trusted family/friends. Stay away from drama. You know what’s happening. Rage about it to yourself (if that’s how you feel. Not read all the posts) but keep your thoughts and feelings away from your ex. Nothing communicated to him on this matter at all. Cool and collected.

Unfortunately you don’t have that right.

Of course we want to know what’s going on in our kids lives, that’s normal, however we still don’t have the right.

Keep texts to child management only. X

Be kind to yourself. Let him get on with his partner. Focus on being happy with your child. Don’t let him get to you. He might like the attention so write messages but don’t send them.

Also OP just be mindful that you will have ‘new partners’ answering on this thread so some of the responses will be harsh.

Be kind to yourself, your only human to have these feelings. Just reframe them and look at to why you were triggered

Because people move on. It’s sad for you, I get that but it’s not unusual at all.

I do think a bit more notice would have helped as you could have helped your DD. It's going to be (another) big change for them

But it's just none of your business. I say that kindly. Lots of people have babies less than 2 years apart. It's not so unusual.
I think you are still hurting from this breakup, which I totally understand. You may find some talk therapy helpful to work through your feelings. It all seems desperately unfair and I get that but unfortunately you have no control over him or his life choices and you will have to come to terms with that. Sorry

OP 💐 You’ve done amazing with your little one.

I know you must be really feeling it at the moment.

Try and separate your ex from the feelings you’re having.

Your ex isn’t some amazing hero - he left his pregnant partner, then picked up another poor fool. Dont envy that scenario.

Reframe this and look at why this has triggered your abandonment issues. That’s where the hurt feelings are - it’s not about that idiot x

I agree and the new partner might not want that level of involvement.

I think its hard to judge as we don't know what you texted him. Yeah sure be upset and angry but not to him. He's moved on. Have the ugly feelings. But you need to get over it and be positive for your child's sake.

@Hankunamatata , I couldn’t face buying the baby a present when my ex had his child , it was too much .

What on earth did you say to him?! A congratulations would be fine! Oh and a let me know if it affects maintainance or if you need me to cover your contact time with DD when baby is being born.

He got another women pregnant 9 months after you guys split? Yeah I'd be upset. The fact he was total coward and didn't even tell you his partner was pregnant is not decent co parenting.

I'd keep a calm and cool demeanour with him. Buy them a baby present when your dd half sibling is born and rise above it.

Have good cry on private and I found talking therapy helped cope with sense of loss

After 14 years you have every right.. one day you will see it was the best thing he's out of your life. It took a rough patch an 2years for him to run, you don't need a man like that. Hugs.