School allergy policy and cosmetics - AIBU to think this is overkill?

Yes, agree with that! We have a number of allergies in the family and some are definitely taken more seriously than others by friends/family.

Thank you for this. The language used by that poster is full of aggression and ignorance. I’d welcome anyone to observe a day in our lives to see that inconvenience is such a mild word for what we live with on a regular basis, how careful we are in selecting his education, how much more we spend on everything from skin creams to bread, and how much we compromise on.

To anyone who has a child with allergies, please don’t be put off by the aggression in this thread. Most of the people we meet are kind and want to help. We see this even before they find out that our child is the one with allergies so we know that they aren’t simply being kind to our faces.

Sorry, yes, you're right, I was typing sloppily.

But it is frustrating seeing serious allergies to other allergens not taken seriously at all, and then people panicking when I mention peanuts.

if my child had a deadly nut allergy I would consider isolation if it meant keeping them alive.

The fact that most parents of nut allergic children don't consider this a good strategy should tell you something. Other than on a very small scale (no, we won't be attending the party at Five Guys, thank you anyway) isolation is not the answer.

You wouldn't though, because no parent would actually consider isolating their child for a manageable medical condition.

I don’t agree with isolating people as a general rule.

the only issue with allergies is that they can be heavily influenced by the people around you and it’s very very difficult to ask people en masse to start/stop doing/eating something.

if my child had a deadly nut allergy I would consider isolation if it meant keeping them alive.

Actually your chances of having a fatal reaction can be higher or lower depending on the food trigger you're allergic to. Peanuts very often trigger severe reactions and are responsible for 30 -50% of fatal anaphylatic reactions overall.

That's why they're taken so seriously.

Of course that doesn't mean other allergies shouldn't be taken very seriously too and that dairy isn't a big problem in children in particular, even more so than nuts. The fact that people don't realise how serious reactions to dairy can be is problematic in itself.

But the fact remains that your chance of having a severe, fatal reaction when exposed to an allergen can vary depending on the allergic trigger (among other things) and that peanuts are one of the top offenders in places like the UK and US.

I was being facetious. But where does this thinking stop? If you isolate everyone who might cause you a slight inconvenience, where does it end? Who are you left with?

I read somewhere yesterday that, in the not so distant future, 1 in 2 people are likely to have food allergies. I guess that will make that isolating a bit easier 🙃

Peanuts are not nuts either, same family as peas and beans.

Exactly, when you can die because your throat closes and your organs shut down, in the worst instances if it is in an airborne form - that is serious.

It is getting more common as it started with environmental factors and them messing with our food, but a generation or two on, it’s passed in the dna too. It can happen to anyone or their children and gc, so do not be complacent. Sudden onset is not unheard of either.

It is not just nuts. In fact peanut is not a nut. Peanut tends to be the most severe, and they can often eat other nuts even if they are allergic to peanut.

Egg, diary, fish are really serious too.

All other food preferences like religious or vegan, are all well and good but nothing will happen to someone if they eat the wrong thing, they might not even notice.

I don't have a child with a nut allergy! I never said I did. I'm just one of those people who genuinely cares about other people's children (and I'm a primary school teacher, so have experience in managing the safety of children with allergies).

I will repeat that the right to being safe at school is more important than the right to have nuts in your lunchbox, and I would find it very hard to respect anyone who believed otherwise.

Edited to add: Your response to @Alloveragain3 was really quite alarming- is there any reason you're being so angry and aggressive in your comments, and making quite so many assumptions about other people's lives?

As pointed out by @MrsAvocet allergen bans are not a recommended approach.

Allergy UK who have written a model allergy school policy with leading allergist paediatricians on how best to support children with allergies in schools.

https://www.allergyuk.org/living-with-an-allergy/at-school/for-schools/#:~:text=Many%20parents%20and%20schools%20try,snacks%20brought%20in%20from%20home.

Many parents and schools try to implement a ‘ban’ certain foods (such as nuts) from school premises. However, we do not recommend a ‘no nut policy’ in schools, as it is not possible to guarantee and enforce a nut free zone, as staff cannot monitor all lunches and snacks brought in from home. A free from environment creates a false sense of security and does not safely prepare children for environments where nuts may be present. School would need to consider other children with different food allergies and it is not practical to restrict them all. Therefore, school’s should have procedures in place to minimise risk of reaction via cross contamination.

Yeah I know I am. I never said otherwise. My post was coming from a place of incredulity that people have to live that way. That’s all.

Except that there's no evidence that rates of serious reactions are lower in nut free schools.

@LauraNorda (forgot to tag)

I think this is a slight over reaction!

Are you suggesting I'm throwing a temper tantrum? That's uncalled for and rude.

I advocate for my child and expect nothing from other people because I know from experience the vast majority don't have a deep enough understanding of allergies to keep him safe.

My son has severe eczema, asthma and 14 life threatening allergies. Guess what? He does not qualify for DLA. Educate yourself before commenting.

You are woefully unaware of the life of an allergy parent.

If your kid reacted to nuts in the room, would you be happier to send them to school knowing there’s a no “nut policy” that might occasionally get broken by a parent who’s forgotten, or would you rather send them in knowing that there will definitely be that nut in someone’s lunchbox.

Nut free schools keep children safer whilst they are learning to keep themselves safe. It’s a process.

We welcome a nut free school policy. We don’t assume that the school is completely nut free and as my son has multiple allergies we know that his other allergens are present. We teach him safe practice around his allergens constantly. It does reduce the risk for him though and we appreciate everyone who participates in that risk reduction.

He does not have anxiety when around his allergens and we have never promised him that his surroundings are allergen free. There is a lot of misunderstanding around allergies and how to manage the risks for individuals.

Castor oil is not a nut, it’s a vegetable oil. It’s not one of the major allergens, and I can’t find any references to it causing severe allergic reactions if it’s just in the room, so I think the school is over/reacting unless there is a child with that specific allergy and it’s a severe allergy (as opposed to contact dermatitis).

She will be fine to use the products at home. My kid has a tree nut allergy, but has to eat peanuts regularly to prevent further allergies. She eats peanuts virtually every morning for breakfast, and has a kid in her class with airborne anaphylactic reactions to peanuts, and it’s never caused an issue. I make her wash her hands and face before school though.

Some children will have skin conditions which means they have to have medicated skin stuff applied during the day (although at primary school I’ve always known it to be kept with all the other medication and given only when they need it, not carried round by the child).

You wouldn't want your child in a bubble though, because there's zero quality of life in that. It's like anything else in parenting, it's your job to teach them to be safe and risk assess. So you teach them to check labels or ask a trusted adult, only leave them with adults you trust who know how to use the epipens, ensure the meds are always with them.

What you don't want to do is give them any sense of an allergen free world - because when they're 14 and their friends want to go to Five Guys, they need to be able to advocate for themselves.

How is it ridiculous?

Mainstream school. The clue is in the name. Schools that cater for the overwhelming majoritys needs (>97%). Those that cannot attend mainstream school, such as the severely disabled go to special schools that can meet their needs.

If your child has a potentially fatal reaction to common things like nuts, dairy, wheat etc, that seems to me to be the very definition of disabled. Apply for DLA and get them into a special school that caters for them.

But no, you won't do that, will you? You just palm them off to the nearest school, then start demanding that everyone else bend to suit their needs and stamp your foot in a temper tantrum when anyone objects. Thats the very definition of selfish. Making everyone change things just to suit one.

Ok yes, sorry I misunderstood your point.
I agree that some schools probably see it as an easy way to be "safe". I hesitate to say it's a lazy approach as I am sure some schools put a lot of resources into trying to police such policies but it has crossed my mind that some might see it as a "well we told all the parents, that's our responsibility dealt with" type thing. I think a large primary school is probably the most difficult setting to manage and I can see why a ban would be attractive to the staff, but its also the type of environment where a "free from" policy is most likely to fail and cause a problem.

But even if the school is nut free, there will be parents who will not (or cannot) comply with that. And what if a child does bring nuts and no one notices. I mean that must happen loads.

You are relying on other, unknown people to guarantee your child’s safety. How does anyone get on with their life with that over their head? I’d want my child in a plastic bubble. What a nightmare.