To hate this current trend that girls should be raised to be fierce and fiery but boys shouldn't??

I expect I was really responding to this bit of nonsense

I just don’t accept that. I think there is a massive degree of intersectionality about male privilege. Amongst the MN demographic in the UK, I doubt there is much if any. As a class, globally, and across education, income and age brackets, of course male privilege still exists. For the younger middle and upper classes in the uk, not so much and, in many areas, females are privileged. At school, females enjoy privilege, ‘contextual’ offers for STEM degrees, higher income for the first few years of work etc etc.

which really makes it hard to take anything you say seriously.

Has there been a decline in the "be kind" tat that was being marketed heavily at little girls until at least very recently? (I haven't been paying close attention.) That stuff doesn't fit with what OP is saying at all. But I could imagine a rise in teaching girls to be assertive as a pushback against all that.

These are speech marks “ “
I think you used apostrophes.

@TomeTome ,

’Newbutoldfather ypu sound utterly clueless.’

Are you hard of reading, or do you really not know how quotation marks work?

Are you ever “a bit tongue in cheek” about racism or homophobia? Do you feel the need to point out that it not so bad for people with those or other protected characteristics can avoid some of the more devastating prejudice if they are privileged in other ways? @Newbutoldfather ypu sound utterly clueless.

The reason industries like STEM are now targeting females though is because the levels of inequality have been so big for so long. The fact things are still being targeted shows in itself that inequality is still there.

targeted interventions take place to bridge gaps not to give a head start.

@Pelham678 ,

‘Actually there’s possibly a good reason for prioritising female medics!

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2023/aug/30/female-surgeons-patient-outcomes-better-studies

I’m being a bit tongue in cheek here. But there are still more male doctors than female doctors and definitely more male doctors in specialist hospital roles, so men are not being discriminated against. ‘

I did want to reply to this as it is so wrong in so many ways (I know you said ‘a bit tongue in cheek’). Looking at the demographic at higher levels in a profession is like looking back in time. Males dominate at the very top because they were privileged in their education (in the 80s and 90s) and at the early stages of their career. It is absolutely not evidence that young men are not being discriminated against in the early stages of their medical education and career.

In addition, having taught boys and girls for the last ten years, I can very much see why female surgeons might on average be better. Men are far more likely to go for the glory and ‘risk it for a biscuit’, whereas women will be more careful and measured.

However, the flip side of this is higher level STEM subjects, where boys and men still substantially dominate and outperform girls and women. I have spent a large amount of my teaching career trying to get more girls to pursue STEM, work out why the boys were outperforming (not at GCSE and A level, but Oxbridge entry and similar) and help the girls overcome the obstacles so that they could match the boys. The idea that I would just say ‘boys are better’ so maybe we should prioritise them (even tongue in cheek) is just not acceptable to me.

The worst discrimination in education these days is that in areas where girls outperform teachers just accept ‘oh well, girls are better’ and, in the few areas boys still dominate lots of time and money is spent in fixing the problem.

If you accept it or not it exists and is the reality of female lives. You are perhaps so privileged yourself you don’t see the impact on those born to a different life to your own.

@thurstonthethird ,

‘At the end of the day OP, your sons will experience massive privilege throughout life, just by virtue of being male.’

I just don’t accept that. I think there is a massive degree of intersectionality about male privilege. Amongst the MN demographic in the UK, I doubt there is much if any. As a class, globally, and across education, income and age brackets, of course male privilege still exists. For the younger middle and upper classes in the uk, not so much and, in many areas, females are privileged. At school, females enjoy privilege, ‘contextual’ offers for STEM degrees, higher income for the first few years of work etc etc.

‘I get that it feels unfair that they should have to deal with some girls being encouraged to be 'fierce and fiery' and that they might feel they have to take a backseat where perhaps sometimes they shouldn't.’

It’s not a race to the bottom and a quid pro quo in unfairness. That will only lead to a continuation of the trend of resentment between and separation of the sexes.

All children need to feel that they are valued and treated fairly.

At the end of the day OP, your sons will experience massive privilege throughout life, just by virtue of being male.

I get that it feels unfair that they should have to deal with some girls being encouraged to be 'fierce and fiery' and that they might feel they have to take a backseat where perhaps sometimes they shouldn't.

But that is not going to have as much of a negative impact on them, as all of the unfairness, bias, sexism and misogyny that girls will experience throughout their lives.

The truth is that girls do need this encouragement more than boys because of the inherent privilege that males have by virtue of their sex.

Where's this 'trend' come from. I've never heard about it. I'm rasing boys and girls, none of them need to keep their emotions in and all of them are taught to be polite and respectful and not perpetrate or accept abuse.

Oh stop clutching your pearls about language
You say that as though language is not important. I think the clear bias embedded in your psyche is very interesting considering you don't seem to give any weight to language. Or is it just when your misogynistic language is called out? Are you able to explain why language shouldn't be an issue?

Sorry I am not woke enough
Yes because you're not allowed to say anything now, political correctness gone mad
And here we have it. The REAL point of the post. Took way too long to get here. Is there even a kid cos it feels like that was probably a prop to ease in 🤷‍♀️

Let's say there is a kid. You have told the school that your child is being kicked by another child. What did the teacher say? And when nothing changed and you escalated it, was was the result? Explain using improved language...'don't seem interested' doesn't explain the conversations had

Hi Pink

I was referring to the actual OP in your post I quoted. As in agreeing with what you'd said to the OP? I feel they had drip fed initially while harping on about equal rights etc. Hope that makes sense? So I wasn't passing judgement on your experience at all.

And I'm so sorry for what happened to you. It never fails to disgust me how many of us suffer from the actions of an apparent minority of men.

I probably shouldn’t post in the morning. I’m not a morning person.
Clearly I’m not as intelligent as you or as good as articulating myself.
I know equality doesn’t mean everything is the same.
You really don’t need to teach me about feminism or about how badly women are treated.
I was raped at 21 by two men in a subway. Fuck knows how many times I was raped in relationships.I became a vegetarian at 13 and lost count of the number of grown men who told me I must want a bit of sausage in my mouth, snigger snigger.
Like every other woman on the planet I have been intimidated, cat called, have to take extra precautions when going out especially at night, brought my son up alone because men can ouss off without consequence.
I can’t be bothered listing the rest.
What I wrote wasn't about that though. I was replying to the OP who nowhere suggested that boys and men are not violent or misogynistic. I took it to mean that her son had done nothing wrong and when a girl hurt him for no reason nothing was done. And I witnessed the same with my son.
Who I brought up to respect women.
I probably still haven’t explained myself properly but I don’t have a degree in English.

You are deluded if you can't see your language is anti female.

I'm not anti female at all but a lot of females seem to be anti male

Or cautious and trying to protect themselves? We don't owe men nice just because they're male.

100%!

Anal is disgusting at any age

Any reason you feel the need to judge the sexual practices of consenting adults? What if one of your sons turns out to be gay? Are you going to start his safe sex talk with, "Anal is disgusting at any age."?

And yes, I'm aware not all gay men have anal sex, but the majority do (as do a lot of straight people).

You really are anti 'female'.

Women aren't anti male either, we are pro protecting ourselves.

@Voodoohoodoyoudo gosh, I wonder why women are cautious around men. And girls around boys.

As long as you don't pass your anti female rhetoric on to your sons, I'm sure they'll be fine