To hate this current trend that girls should be raised to be fierce and fiery but boys shouldn't??

No one is saying not to listen to boys or empathise with them.

At no point did I ask you to trawl through the thread.

And of course there are exceptions to the rules, girls can be shitty, boys can be delightful but in my opinion this "movement" is a direct consequence of boys/men and their behavior
Having had one of each now young adults, what I've seen is equal poor behaviour on both sides.

Yes, poor behaviour from boys tend to be more physical but my goodness can girls be nasty towards boy in a very covert way.

Surely it's more than time to stop the boys Vs girls and start commenting on individual behaviour instead?

Let's encourage our children of both sexes to value individuals as a whole on the basis that everyone should be equals?

@MotherofChaosandDestruction ,

But surely you see that ‘feisty’ girls can be a bit ‘rapey’ too. No, it probably doesn’t represent the same threat but girls shouting about boys ‘bulges’, normally to the shy and embarrassable boys isn’t great either.

As I said above, the important thing is to actually get a message about consent across that everyone can embrace. Not separating the sexes for this will bring understanding and not create resentment.

I sometimes think the purpose of education isn’t really thought about with all the ideas about class analysis. We are trying to create a more tolerant and happy society. There have been loads of articles (evidence based ) about older teens and young adults not bothering with sex at all, the ‘chaste generation’. That isn’t a good outcome for anyone.

Also, again, to return to the OP about younger children, the amount of posters justifying being nicer to girls when they are violent just isn’t acceptable. Neither sex should be allowed to be violent. Period.

You escalate to the HT.
You go in and say after several attempts to get the class teacher to do something I've told my son that if he keeps getting kicked and the adults who are supposed to protect him, do nothing, then he can protect himself . It's amazing what HTs can sort when they are aware.
My DNiece was repeatedly pushed /kicked by a boy in her class, had bruises. DSis went in 3 or 4 times and in the end BiL told her to push him back. She did, told the HT her dad said to so he was called in as they 'couldn't condone that behaviour'. When he explained what has been going on HT was shocked and it was sorted from that point on.

I get what your saying OP to an extent but the difficulty is that boys, and boy mums are having, is that us girl mums ( mum of 3 girls) are sick to the back teeth of boys and their behavior.

Honestly i was naive to most of it until my girls started primary school and i can tell you the behavior of the boys in general is absolutely fucking outrageous but let me tell you whats worse 10 x over.......boy mums.

I have been truly shocked at the lengths they will go to ignore or make excuses for things that have happened within our school and one example would be when a boy whipped up around 20 other boys to chase my daughter into the girls toilet and kick in the door trying to get to her, the reason for this was the teacher put up their "first day of school" pictures and my child said he looked cute. According to the boys mum this embarrassed him and his reaction was acceptable. This is just one of the many stories i have.

And of course there are exceptions to the rules, girls can be shitty, boys can be delightful but in my opinion this "movement" is a direct consequence of boys/men and their behavior.

@Newbutoldfather but the statistics are that a significant amount of boys/men are a bit 'rapey' and don't understand enthusiastic consent. I do think girls should be taught about consent and how to hold their boundaries too - perhaps the method in how they teach it should change but not the content because every single woman I know has had her boundaries crossed by men sexually and it seems young boys/men are not learning.

The ‘kitchen sink’ approach to feminism benefits no one.

My boy was kicked by a 6 year old girl is met with how he will be privileged throughout his life so maybe he should just take a kicking now (no one has used those words but it has been pretty much implied).

Contextual offers for girls are justified due to ‘toxic masculinity’ and the fact that later in life women may be disadvantaged with respect to equal pay.

As I said earlier, this approach doesn’t serve boys or girls well. The Year 10s came out of their separate consent talks (girls about self respect and self esteem, boys about understanding consent) totally polarised when it was addressed later on. The girls hadn’t really changed their views on anything or learned much new (consent is a hot topic and they cover it every year since primary (at different levels). They basically said it was boring. The boys on the other hand were affronted and upset. They didn’t really do ‘class analysis’ (Year 10s don’t really) and felt they were being personally accused of being ‘rapey’ and they felt it was hypocritical that the girls were given a ‘go girl’ attitude when they objectivised boys (it happens much more than some people think) and that they were accused of being potential rapists for similar comments.

Ultimately it is far more effective to give boys and girl an equal and fair message even if, by class analysis, it applies more often to the boys. Children (and most people) have an acute sense of fairness and injustice and look upon it from an individual perspective.

I realise some posters hate the idea that I advocate listening to boys and empathising with them, but it’s worked well for me, both at home and in my job

I don’t think there’s a shred of evidence that anyone feels like that.

Pointing out that male privilege is real is not ‘shutting down’ boys. What nonsense.

Do you understand the term “shut down”? It means to refuse to acknowledge or hear, and to end the discussion. Posters don’t have to use the actual term, they can describe it using other words. Look back at previous posts, I don’t have to trawl this thread for you or anyone else. I have bothered to follow the thread, if anyone else wants to know about previous posts they need to follow the thread, and read all the posts, themselves.
I realise some posters hate the idea that I advocate listening to boys and empathising with them, but it’s worked well for me, both at home and in my job.

Precisely, a lotvof these so called 'feminists' still want to cherry pick what they like and don't like. Like they don't want to be checked out if they're wearing a mini skirt, but they still want men to hold the door open for then 🤦‍♀️

'So called feminists'
Bloody hell. You just get better and better!

Absolutely clueless 🙄

You can’t stop someone spiking a drink with drugs or other substances either.

A lot of women will go along with it in the moment because of physical safety fears. Most men can overpower a woman and if they are on alcohol or drugs then that increases the likelihood of them not being reasonable if a woman says no.

Saying no works when you are texting but in person, not so easy.

Precisely, a lotvof these so called 'feminists' still want to cherry pick what they like and don't like. Like they don't want to be checked out if they're wearing a mini skirt, but they still want men to hold the door open for then 🤦‍♀️

//

What a bizarre statement. I don't want to be checked out but would hope anyone would hold a door for me, regardless of sex. That's just common courtesy surely?

Yours, a so called feminist.

@Oneofthesurvivors "No she can't, because it hasn't happened."

Quite. There's quite a list of things that never happened. Including men being berated for holding doors open.....

Oh gosh I wish I'd been able to just say no to the man who pretty much groomed me then coerced me into sex when I was 15

It's really not always as simple as saying no to something you are uncomfortable with.

No she can't, because it hasn't happened.

Can you quote to show any posters actually saying that they ‘shut down’ their sons if they come to them with a problem?

@Voodoohoodoyoudo

Precisely, a lotvof these so called 'feminists' still want to cherry pick what they like and don't like. Like they don't want to be checked out if they're wearing a mini skirt, but they still want men to hold the door open for then 🤦‍♀️

If we weren't convinced before (we were) we now have proof that you are a misogynist and you will be easing another generation of sexist chauvinist misogynistic sons.

Which is why daughters need to be raised to be confident and assertive and equipped to spot these losers and avoid them like the plague

Read earlier posts. There are posters saying that if their boys came to them saying they are unhappy about something that feels unfair , or they feel as a boy they are being treated differently or more harshly, then they are quickly shut down by being told they are privileged. That’s not the way to encourage our young men to speak about feelings, that just tells them they have no right to their feelings and that they can’t trust even their own parents to listen.

We may disagree with things our kids voice to us, but a good parent listens to, and acknowledges, how our kids feel. We can gently point our own point of view whilst encouraging further discussion, but shutting down conversation and telling them their feelings aren’t valid isn’t (in my opinion anyway) good parenting.

Lol, can you please tell that to the guy I met at the pub the other day who told me I should be at home cleaning the house for my husband?

You must be blind if you think there is no privilege in the 2020's.

I stay for the entertainment

This thread just keeps on giving

I find the idea of trying to teach girls to be more like boys (feisty and independent minded) is quite strange. The reason they are outperforming boys at school is (at least in part) the polar opposite. They are better at listening to teachers and trying to please (yes, intrinsic motivation is better, but extrinsic motivation is a lot better than no motivation). They are also better at cooperative work.

Surely, the last thing we need at the moment is feistier children (of either sex). We would focus better on teaching boys to be ‘more like girls’, more respectful and less feisty.

Teaching healthy boundaries is different and important but too many parents confuse these with rudeness and lack of respect. ‘Go girl’ is not an appropriate response if girls fight, are rude to teachers or sexually objectivise boys (which happens more and more in schools).

Ok, you’ve really got to be on the wind-up now. How can anyone be so clueless?