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AIBU?

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To hate this current trend that girls should be raised to be fierce and fiery but boys shouldn't??

407 replies

Voodoohoodoyoudo · 11/05/2024 08:05

Now I'm not saying one gender is better than the other. But as a mother of sons I feel worried for their future because it seems this notion is currently being pushed that girls can get away with being drama queens but boys need to keep their feelings to themselves and pander to them or they might grow up to be abusive men? What happened to equal rights? I don't condone violence of any sort but this is totally unfair that boys shouldn't be able to do what girls do in terms of sticking up for themselves.

OP posts:
CelesteCunningham · 11/05/2024 08:12

... You know why parents focus on those things, right?

Traditionally women were encouraged to be submissive, raising girls to have more confidence in themselves is a protective strategy.

Similarly, we've become more aware of toxic masculinity, high rates of domestic abuse and the negligible share of unpaid labour done by men as a whole across society. Raising boys to be more sensitive than in the past aims to counteract that.

But don't worry, the overwhelming message is still that boys are strong and brave and that girls should be nice and kind. Just walk through a children's clothing aisle or toy shop.

Nillim · 11/05/2024 08:11

Even the language you are using is misogynistic and shows the problem- so girls are 'drama queens' if they are assertive?

BringMeSunshineAllDayLong · 11/05/2024 08:11

Girls aren't being taught to be "drama queens* and boys to pander to it.
Girls are being taught to no longer be "nice" and "kind" and put up with 1000s of years of men treating us as second class citizens.
Additionally there is a good push towards boys talking about their feelings rather than pushing them down or being aggressive. So hopefully we have less emotionally repressed men, who in turn stop being so violent towards each other and women.

Momstermunch · 11/05/2024 08:10

I think you're taking stupid shit posted on tiktok too seriously. This isn't really a thing.

Sirzy · 11/05/2024 08:10

As the mother of a boy and someone who works in a primary school I haven’t seen any of what you’re talking about.

Heronwatcher · 11/05/2024 08:10

Why do you think girls can get away with being drama queens? Why do you think boys are being told to keep their feelings to themselves? I think you might need to explain where you’ve got this idea from.

My own perception is that both sexes are being encouraged to talk about feelings/ mental health- the thing that neither sex can do is explain someone being violent, cruel or aggressive because “boys will be boys”. We’re just not imposing higher standards on girls (be kind, that’s not ladylike) which I am fine with TBH.

FlameTulip · 11/05/2024 08:09

I have a girl and two boys and this isn't really in line with what I've observed. I think boys are still raised to be more assertive in general. Can you give an example?