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Original poster

To hate this current trend that girls should be raised to be fierce and fiery but boys shouldn't??

407 replies

Voodoohoodoyoudo · 11/05/2024 08:05

Now I'm not saying one gender is better than the other. But as a mother of sons I feel worried for their future because it seems this notion is currently being pushed that girls can get away with being drama queens but boys need to keep their feelings to themselves and pander to them or they might grow up to be abusive men? What happened to equal rights? I don't condone violence of any sort but this is totally unfair that boys shouldn't be able to do what girls do in terms of sticking up for themselves.

OP posts:
KatyaKabanova · 11/05/2024 09:18

So, you assume one girl gets away with kicking one boy and from that extrapolate a strange theory about societal change to the detriment of males?

Original poster
Voodoohoodoyoudo · 11/05/2024 09:16

Sirzy · 11/05/2024 09:09

Taking your kicking example though you don’t know the teacher hasn’t done anything. You don’t know the whole story.

but you do know that you are condoning violence and encouraging your son to kick people. Even worse telling him it’s ok to kick women.

It's not okay for anyone to kick anyone but why is isn't acceptable the girl gets away with it? There's no time for all this gentle parenting BS it needs to be nipped in the bud and I think kicking back in defense is absolutely fine? What about karate and judo? So much double standards.

OP posts:
Original poster
Voodoohoodoyoudo · 11/05/2024 09:13

FeckOffNowLads · 11/05/2024 09:08

It’s easily forgotten that many quieter boys also differ from the effects of toxic masculinity amongst peer groups. I have two boys who are gentle and sensitive and find the alpha males in their year groups overbearing and unpleasant.

we need more emphasis on managing the problem boys really. I also know that my children, being males will already have an easier time of it than any daughters I would have had. I’m all for anything that helps women and girls.

Yes this. My oldest is now 14 and has a smart mouth on him but he is very gentle really and was never 'rowdy' so didn't fit in with the rougher boys at school.

OP posts:
Pinkpromise · 11/05/2024 09:11

Of course boys can be bossy. You don’t know me or know how I brought my son up.
I have always been aware of non gender stereotyping. I used to call my own son not to boss people around if he ever tried to tell his friends what to do when they were playing together.
You’re just trying to look for ways to avoid the actual topic of the thread.

Sirzy · 11/05/2024 09:09

Taking your kicking example though you don’t know the teacher hasn’t done anything. You don’t know the whole story.

but you do know that you are condoning violence and encouraging your son to kick people. Even worse telling him it’s ok to kick women.

FeckOffNowLads · 11/05/2024 09:08

It’s easily forgotten that many quieter boys also differ from the effects of toxic masculinity amongst peer groups. I have two boys who are gentle and sensitive and find the alpha males in their year groups overbearing and unpleasant.

we need more emphasis on managing the problem boys really. I also know that my children, being males will already have an easier time of it than any daughters I would have had. I’m all for anything that helps women and girls.

Pinkpromise · 11/05/2024 09:06

Sorry, I hadn’t read the full thread. I’m really sorry your son is being bullied and anxious about going to school.
School need to deal with it.

KatyaKabanova · 11/05/2024 09:06

Simonjt · 11/05/2024 09:00

I wouldn’t be telling so many people you’re actively teaching your son to physically harm girls. You continue reporting to the school, you don’t instruct a child to attack another child.

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Yes, that's the negative part of all this.

CelesteCunningham · 11/05/2024 09:05

KatyaKabanova · 11/05/2024 09:02

"girls being bossy"
What does that mean? It's a negative expression used to stop girls and women from speaking up and speaking out because it's perceived not as assertiveness or being self protecting.

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Boys are never bossy are they. Bossy is negative. Boys get to just be the boss.

KatyaKabanova · 11/05/2024 09:04

Voodoohoodoyoudo · 11/05/2024 09:02

This is exactly, what I'm talking about and it's encouraged on social media. Hate it.

What is encouraged on social media?
I'm not on any of these sites apart from this one, but I find it hard to believe that it's just one hive mind of female supremacists.

Zanatdy · 11/05/2024 09:04

2 boys - 30 and 19, one daughter 16 - don’t recognise what you’re saying. Not the case for mine. My daughter is definitely not a drama Queen so maybe why

CommentNow · 11/05/2024 09:04

Voodoohoodoyoudo · 11/05/2024 08:58

What else am I supposed to do? The teacher has done nothing, it was a last resort, what is he supposed to do just take that shit? Everyone needs to stick up for themselves. He goes into school every day with a tummy ache because he has anxiety about this girl bullying him.

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Fucking hell, you don't tell him to kick another child back.

You look at the behaviour policy, you meet the teacher, you set your reasonable demands in line with the policy e.g. moving her away, her being monitored closer at break time etc, and point out where the policy has not been followed or the need for escalation. You set a clear boundary that if it happens again you will be meeting head teacher and if it remains unresolved then you escalate to the Board, Ofsted, your MP, local authority, papers, whatever.

You, as the parent, deal with it. You don't put it back on son son. All you've taught him is that mum doesn't have his back and its his problem to sort through violence.

SpeakinginTongues · 11/05/2024 09:04

BringMeSunshineAllDayLong · 11/05/2024 08:11

Girls aren't being taught to be "drama queens* and boys to pander to it.
Girls are being taught to no longer be "nice" and "kind" and put up with 1000s of years of men treating us as second class citizens.
Additionally there is a good push towards boys talking about their feelings rather than pushing them down or being aggressive. So hopefully we have less emotionally repressed men, who in turn stop being so violent towards each other and women.

This.

Original poster
Voodoohoodoyoudo · 11/05/2024 09:03

Pinkpromise · 11/05/2024 09:00

I know what you mean OP. I think people are offended by your use of “drama Queen.”
My son is 26 but I started noticing this when he started primary school.
My son got pushed over at sports day in reception class by a little girl. All he had done was to stop in the sack race and help her up after she’d fallen.
Several mothers in the audience started saying things like “Oooh she’s sassy, doesn’t need a man to help her.”
Even teachers used to smirk at the girls being bossy to boys. They encouraged it in fact.
I have witnessed it with friends and family who have teenaged daughters too.
I also find it worrying and sexist.

This is exactly, what I'm talking about and it's encouraged on social media. Hate it.

OP posts:
KatyaKabanova · 11/05/2024 09:02

Pinkpromise · 11/05/2024 09:00

I know what you mean OP. I think people are offended by your use of “drama Queen.”
My son is 26 but I started noticing this when he started primary school.
My son got pushed over at sports day in reception class by a little girl. All he had done was to stop in the sack race and help her up after she’d fallen.
Several mothers in the audience started saying things like “Oooh she’s sassy, doesn’t need a man to help her.”
Even teachers used to smirk at the girls being bossy to boys. They encouraged it in fact.
I have witnessed it with friends and family who have teenaged daughters too.
I also find it worrying and sexist.

"girls being bossy"
What does that mean? It's a negative expression used to stop girls and women from speaking up and speaking out because it's perceived not as assertiveness or being self protecting.

Original poster
Voodoohoodoyoudo · 11/05/2024 09:02

This is exactly, what I'm talking about and it's encouraged on social media. Hate it.

OP posts:
KatyaKabanova · 11/05/2024 09:00

CelesteCunningham · 11/05/2024 08:59

And anyone who's seen a football match knows there should be...

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Oh my god, you're right!

Simonjt · 11/05/2024 09:00

Voodoohoodoyoudo · 11/05/2024 08:58

What else am I supposed to do? The teacher has done nothing, it was a last resort, what is he supposed to do just take that shit? Everyone needs to stick up for themselves. He goes into school every day with a tummy ache because he has anxiety about this girl bullying him.

Show quote history

I wouldn’t be telling so many people you’re actively teaching your son to physically harm girls. You continue reporting to the school, you don’t instruct a child to attack another child.

Pinkpromise · 11/05/2024 09:00

I know what you mean OP. I think people are offended by your use of “drama Queen.”
My son is 26 but I started noticing this when he started primary school.
My son got pushed over at sports day in reception class by a little girl. All he had done was to stop in the sack race and help her up after she’d fallen.
Several mothers in the audience started saying things like “Oooh she’s sassy, doesn’t need a man to help her.”
Even teachers used to smirk at the girls being bossy to boys. They encouraged it in fact.
I have witnessed it with friends and family who have teenaged daughters too.
I also find it worrying and sexist.

CelesteCunningham · 11/05/2024 08:59

KatyaKabanova · 11/05/2024 08:54

How come there's no expression "drama king"?

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And anyone who's seen a football match knows there should be...

Original poster
Voodoohoodoyoudo · 11/05/2024 08:58

KatyaKabanova · 11/05/2024 08:55

Quite. It's not a reasonable response.

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What else am I supposed to do? The teacher has done nothing, it was a last resort, what is he supposed to do just take that shit? Everyone needs to stick up for themselves. He goes into school every day with a tummy ache because he has anxiety about this girl bullying him.

OP posts:
CharlotteRumpling · 11/05/2024 08:56

Momstermunch · 11/05/2024 08:10

I think you're taking stupid shit posted on tiktok too seriously. This isn't really a thing.

This. In the real world men have absolutely no trouble speaking up for themselves and expressing their POVs. Sometimes forcibly.

KatyaKabanova · 11/05/2024 08:55

CountFucula · 11/05/2024 08:54

As you’re asking:
you are being sexist by using the term drama queen
you are being sexist by failing to acknowledge the patriarchal framework your boys have been born into
you are being sexist by drawing a comparison between the sexes and asking for ‘equality’ by which you mean ‘the same’ and not a consideration of the experience of women and girls which is different from the male experience.

Telling your son to kick the girl back (if true) is just plain bad parenting in my view and nothing to do with sex and gender. You must have known that he would get in trouble for kicking?

Quite. It's not a reasonable response.

Simonjt · 11/05/2024 08:54

Voodoohoodoyoudo · 11/05/2024 08:52

In that instance yes! Boys and Girls are both capable of being dramatic

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How many times have you called poorly behaved boys drama queens?

KatyaKabanova · 11/05/2024 08:54

Voodoohoodoyoudo · 11/05/2024 08:52

In that instance yes! Boys and Girls are both capable of being dramatic

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How come there's no expression "drama king"?