To hate this current trend that girls should be raised to be fierce and fiery but boys shouldn't??

How will it backfire? And why shouldn't we raise boys in terms of what is ideal for women, seeing as how the reverse has only resulted in catastrophic male violence in every country

Because I don’t think men can be kind from a position of weakness. I really don’t. The worst men I have known were weak men, they can only get their way by underhanded tactics and preying on people perceived as weaker than themselves.

Urgh. Social media - it's a monster that is out of control IMHO.

The issue at hand is that people should treat other people as they want to be treated (card carrying masochists excepted) first and foremost, with an awareness of differences that may impact them and we should be striving to make the world a better and more equitable place.

Someone has already mentioned engineered culture wars and it's writ large here.

In terms of school bullying, get assertive with the school. It's wrong, no matter what the sex of the perpetrator, but getting fixed ideas that either sex is / should be behaving in a particular way is what got us into this mess in the first place.

Bloody typical and why girls do better in single sex schools.

I think you are taking shit OP.

School stats, 8 out of 10 sexual assaults are committed by young males in secondary school.

98% of sexual assaults in UK are committed by males.

We are bringing up our girls with strong boundaries and stop this "be kind" bullshit that erodes their boundaries.

You only have to walk into any clothes store and look at the T shirts for girls and boys to know that society is still trying to keep girls in their place.

If you are bringing up decent boys you have nothing to worry about.

I'm sorry your DS is being bullied.

Girls should be encouraged to be more assertive and boys should be encouraged to be less assertive

Bullying is unacceptable regardless of who is doing it to whom.

In DD's class (secondary)there's massive drama at the moment.. from the boys. They're all up in arms the teachers are sexist and treat the girls better. The girls never get in trouble bla bla bla. What they forget to mention is it wasn't a girl that jumped on a table and did monkey noises in a middle of a lesson. It wasn't two girls that had a fight in the middle of the courts. It wasn't a girl that told the teacher to fuck off. It wasn't girls that simulated sexual acts with equipment during food tech. It wasn't girls that emailed teachers inappropriate stuff. It wasn't a girl screaming racist language. You get the point.

They also forget that a lot of their silly, low level disruptive behaviour (which girls are also guilty of) actually does get a pass and is mostly ignored.

Instead they rage the girls never get in trouble. Which is not even true, they do get in trouble , it's just isn't as often or the consequences as severe because their behaviours aren't as often or severe. There is real anger and resentment towards both the girls and the teachers and a complete inability to look inwards. "Suzie shares food and doesn't get in trouble ,but I got a detention for threatening to lie about a teacher to get in trouble."

Soooo unfair. We are actually considering changing forms .

I've no idea why raising children to be more assertive, resilient and considerate could ever "backfire".
Unless men are too worried about losing power and privilege?

How will it backfire? And why shouldn't we raise boys in terms of what is ideal for women, seeing as how the reverse has only resulted in catastrophic male violence in every country?

this isn’t sonething I’ve noticed and I have a ds and dd. I think if there is encouragement on girls to be fierce and boys to be gentle, it’s only trying to reverse centuries of conditioning the opposite way. Which is still (girls be kind and gentle, boys be strong and tough), overall the message they receive imo. There’s still a lot of stereotyping. My 2 were broadly the same in terms of enjoying outdoors and loving books as toddlers (fairly normal!) but DD’s love of books is commented on a lot whereas DS’s love of the outdoors was by far the most commented on.

Sorry to hear about your DS at school, OP. My DS was being kicked and hit at school by some girls when he was about 9. The teachers didn’t do much (mainly because it was happening out of sight and the girls said it was a mutual game) but I spoke to the head and he immediately sorted it so that’s worth doing. I didn’t suggest he retaliated against them as it’s all very well at 6 but what about when he’s 16 and much bigger and stronger than the girls?

I have 2 sons.

I see plenty of women calling misogynistic behaviour out, and plenty of men saying "it's just a joke" or "you can't say anything anymore", but I can't say I've seen any harmless behaviour interpreted as misogynistic.

I think we have (more or less) stopped trying to raise girls in terms of what is ideal for men. But I equally do not think we should raise boys in terms of what’s ideal for women.

I see a lot of women try to raise their sons to be kind and aware of their privilege and whatnot, but I think this is going to wildly backfire, already seeing signs of it tbh.

I don’t think girls are being raised to be ‘drama queens’. I have one of each and am raising them in the same way. There is nothing wrong with being confident and assertive when necessary for either of them. Likewise they can both be sensitive and thoughtful too.

I am the parent of a young man, and absolutely disagree.

Plus, @Coshei , I am the parent of adult DC, including boys. They do not believe that they are victims of females misinterpreting their harmless behaviour.

As others have said, when you're used to privilege, equality can very often feel like oppression.

What are examples of this "harmless behaviour"?

Of course (some) men and boys will agree with that.
I said it upthread - if you're used to privilege, equality feels unfair.
Harmless behaviour is just that. Continuing harassment and violence against girls and women is never harmless.

Girls are no longer being taught to be nice and kind. I understand why this is happening as we are trying to undo years of oppression. What seems to me to be going wrong is that we are teaching women to behave more like men but not encouraging men to be more nurturing and kind. It would be a a good thing if everyone was taught to be nice and kind but could be assertive if they were being taken advantage of. What seems to be happening now is that children who aren’t aggressive, whatever their sex, are getting trampled over because we aren’t teaching anyone to be considerate.

No he doesn't have her number, he was just a random bloke in a pub.

Look op, your son shouldn't be getting bullied and you should absolutely keep on at the school to get it sorted. It IS possible that they're not taking it seriously because she's a girl. This doesn't mean there has been some big swing in society where men are now kicked around by women.

Male violence against women is still very much an issue, far more of an issue than female violence against men. There are very few grown women who would start a physical fight with a man because we all know it wouldn't end well for them.

On the contrary. There is an ever increasing trend to interpret even harmless behaviour as abusive and misogynistic. Ask men, or parents of boys about it.

Well, I can't. I have a neighbour who thinks that you should eat something coloured yellow every day. It doesn't mean that this is a societal change which will impact our lives.
It's just one person's rather odd belief.
However, I have noticed that anything which knocks girls and women swiftly gains currency.

Of course it was an example. It’s the one I picked for my response because it fitted the thread. I can see where the op is coming from.

I have a son as well. There is no way I would ever encourage him to hit anyone, even a bully, girl or boy.

There is absolutely no fucking way boys have it easier in this world, in any field, ever. You will learn that when your DS gets older and all the boys in his class are sharing misogynistic shit and pictures of girls.

It's one example. You don't know how typical that is, and it's certainly not evidential.

I don't agree. Girls are typically socialised to "be kind", whereas there is still a broad acceptance in society that "boys will be boys".