Takeaways every night !

Good Lord. Out of all the things schools do to support children and families, you're suggesting that they also wade in on the evening meal? What do you suggest - sending the School Business Manager round with a bag of salad nightly?

Icelands meal in a bag are really good OP if you have a freezer! www.iceland.co.uk/frozen/frozen-ready-meals/meal-in-a-bag

Firstly I'm sorry for your loss. You sound like you are doing amazing by providing and putting food on the table no matter where it came from. I bet you are exhausted!
My partner works away sometimes for weeks and I have a baby and a young child so the best thing I have found is, weekly big shop will save you pennies but get frozen onions and ready peeled potatoes. And get the easy garlic. Prep is the thing that annoys me the most I find just using things like frozen veg and ready peeled potatoes it's so much easier. Also put a meal plan together before the big shop. Also do yourself a favour click and collect it!
Make staple dishes. I. E I always have something in for toad in the hole, cottage pie, chicken pie (using ready roll pastry, roast dinner and spag bol, jacket spud and fillings or tuna pasta bake and steam fresh bags are your best friend look for the asda own type ones though because they are much cheaper I put them with everything the veg and the rice and they even do pasta and brocoli ones too so not too bad for the kids. Also throw a ready meal in for once a week or some frozen kiddy tea stuff and get yourself an air fryer if you don't have one because tea literally takes minutes.
Also if you want to have a fun tea get the kids making their own pizza. You can pick up plain pizza bases and it's a bit of fun for them then too as well as help for you. Now it's warmer as well things like stir frys very easy and quick to make and a bit more kid friendly than salad.

Oh sod off with your little sad faces 🤣

Sorry for your loss.

A slow cooker and/or tray bakes woukd help. Just chuck everything in.

Have you any help? Siblings? Decent friends? that could give you a dig out? I would do a family sized cottage pie/lasagna weekly to help you out for a while if you were my sibling/friend. Decent people will help if you ask.

I don’t understand people suggesting nuggets and jars of sauce as better than takeaways as standard OP - you sound like you are getting variety into the children’s diet. My thinking is maybe give yourselves a healthy snack after school a couple of days a week giving you time to get something else together a little later - something easy along the lines of omelettes and jacket potatoes. I’d build just a little time of batch cooking once a week as well for extra money saving/cutting down on salt and then relax - you’re doing really well.

@Lookwhostalking25

You may want to look into getting an Instant Pot. My son got one and uses it all the time to cook tasty & healthy meals in no time. Also functions as a slow cooker. He throws in meat, veg, rice/potatoes, water/broth & a few seasonings and pushes a button or two.

They aren't cheap, but he's paid for it twice over in savings from takeaways and junky food.

It sounds like you’re struggling, being a widow with 3 children must be hard however you need to put their health first and stop being a bit lazy and reaching for the takeaways, you can do recipes that take 15 minutes to prepare and have far more nutrients in them. Your children are going to end up overweight or very unhealthy with their diet. Reach out to the school for support on this before it becomes a monthly occurrence and then life long. Children’s eating habits should be taken more seriously than what they are. 😢😢😢

THIS.

Fresh back in work with a baby and two older children, one disabled, and still recently widowed? You’re a hero for not feeding your kids cereal every night, in my books. Give yourself some grace to do what you need to do until you find your feet at work (maybe the first 6 weeks?). Then as others suggested, look into meal kits and/or batch cooking.

Massive props to you. You sound like an incredible human.

OP, I have been in a similar situation, although my children were a bit older than yours. I found also that cooking/food was one of the worst things, because in the evenings the children would need a lot of attention, as they are also grieving and have done a long day at school or nursery.

For that reason:

1. Do online shopping only, set up Sainsburys or whatever
2. Get snacks in that next shop to stop them feeling hungry on journey home, doesn't have to be unhealthy, can be bananas
3. When you get home do very simple meals, lots of suggestions on here, but eggs and beans and toast are fine
4. Do also some 'arranging things on a plate' meal- mine love olives, hummus, salami type plates, buy nice bread or potato salad as carbs
5. Buy a couple of ready meals like lasagne in a tray that you can all eat for two days a week
6. Carry on having takeaways a couple of days a week for now, you can have burritos or something 'healthier' than fish and chips
7. I wouldn't go for batch cooking on a weekend morning or Gousto, because you have three tiny children, a job and are grieving and those things take time away from your most important jobs, looking after them and you
8. Get cleaner/support in the home, including getting milk in and some basic food, cleaners are usually happy to do this if you pay them the same as when they are cleaning

Be very very kind to yourself, if they are fed and clean, that is a win. It's easy to supplement their diet with fruit and bags of salad as well if you are worried about nutrition.

This is the hand we were dealt and just have to find a way forward that is doable, the fact others are preparing hand-made dinners from scratch is irrelevant- they need you to be ok, stable and able to manage, that's the number one priority,

I think this is really good advice. Start slow.

Use the weekends to meal plan and shop accordingly.

I plan out meals for each day then add what I need to make that to the shopping list. I've also started doing an online shop so I don't go off track and saves going to the shop.

It will be hard but you can do it!

Maybe put aside the money you save so you can see it and save up for a little holiday for you all or some nice garden furniture, paddling pool etc.

*stir fry veg not double noodles!

How about this as a starting point?
Gousto-3 meals
Coconut Haddock Curry With Green Beans 10 minute meal

Peanut Butter Veg-Packed Udon 10 minute meal

Jumbo Prawn Saganaki 10 minute meal

2x takeaways

Roast chicken
With new potatoes roasted in olive oil
Ready made cauli cheese
Frozen peas
Ready made Yorkshire’s

Salmon fillets or chicken with ready to wok noodles and bag of ready to stir fry noodles

Are you OK? This sounds like a lot. You've obviously been through so much. Are you able to get any help from family, friends, other services in the area? You're doing great but women weren't meant to have this much burden alone - it takes a village.

To answer the question, you'd save far more money to use Gousto or HelloFresh and it's healthy, tasty stuff. Or batch cook with a slow cooker. Maybe a friend could help, say, you give up a Saturday and do it together. Make some freezer space and you could get a lot for your money. That way, just defrost, heat up, add some frozen veg.

I'm in a similar position OP. My partner passed away in September and I've been back at work since Nov, and finding the energy to think about food/cook every day is the absolute worst thing about my day to day life. My kids are 12 and 15 (15yo has autism and is unable to do more than pour himself some a bowl of cereal) and they are always bloody hungry, and I'm exhausted. I just don't have the energy to batch cook late at night or on my days off (one weekday which is filled with errand running and one weekend day where I try and do the backlog of housework). There is a lot of freezer food here. Plus 12yo has hot dinners at school to try and reduce the need for a full cooked meal every night. However my son won't eat school dinners, so it doesn't help much here!
Now going back to hopefully read everyone's wonderful ideas.

You're getting by. Your kids are loved, cared for and fed. Sometimes that's all we can aim for.

My tip would be to cook once a week on a Sunday morning. Make a shepherd's/cottage/fish pie, a big chilli and a chicken curry/pasta bake. These can usually be left in the fridge for a few days and cooked/heated up in the evening when you need them.

That will do you Mon/Tue/Wed.

Thursday - pizza, chicken nuggets or fish fingers with chips/pasta and boiled veg on the side.

Friday - takeaway.

Saturday - takeaway one week/try to cook together the other week.

To the original poster-Look at how hard you’ve had it - don’t feel guilty! You’re doing your best!! I find instant rice sachets very handy if you have a microwave - we usually plan a very easy dinner which might use these or fast cooking pasta or a quick baked potato in the micro and I do some very very easy meals around a carb. Things that take very little time. Frozen veggies are as good as fresh. But drop the guilt!

I'm so sorry for your loss. Single parenting three kids isn't easy, especially when one is a baby, especially if you don't get a break, especially when they're grieving. If they eat too many takeaways then thats ok.

I'm a single parent to two kids. In our house the solution for Mon-Thur nights is:

Two meals which you all like (or at least which all the kids like), which are very quick to do. This sorts nights with clubs, nights when you're late back from work etc. Ours are beans on toast and a picky plate with sandwiches/crisps/veg/fruit etc. Do these every week. Only swap them for other equally quick meals.

Cook a triple portion of one proper decent, healthy, nice meal each weekend and freeze the remaining two portions of it. Things like spag bol, chilli, sausage caserole, roast chicken, curry etc. Eat two of these freezer meals during the week. This takes a bit longer but is pretty easy to do with the kids around.

I finish early on a friday so Friday after school we often go to the supermarket and choose dinner. The kids often pick quick things like ready meal / frozen pizza etc but sometimes we'll do a proper meal then.

Also, if at all possible book them in for school dinners at lunchtime. Makes life loads easier!

You have a LOT on emotionally and practically.

I would try to set a target of halving it for now - so takeaways three school nights, three 'meals' and one day just do sandwiches.

'Really easy but better and cheaper than takeaways' is enough to aim for:
Beans on toast
Eggs of any type with toast
Pasta and pesto/jarred sauce
Jacket potatoes with cheese/beans
Fishfinger sandwiches and frozen peas

Serve some salad bits with everything, and plenty of fruit.
Buy top quality bread and they can have toast for snacks.

You're doing fine.

Easy meals for me are beans on toast and pasta bake with tinned sweetcorn, how about tomato soup from a can? Rice pudding again canned, cherry tomatoes in everything as adds veg with 0 prep, frozen meals and microwave some frozen peas with it. Carrot sticks, cucumber, fish fingers, hot dogs. It sounds like you are coping well in lots of ways and should be proud of yourself

Do an online grocery shop this weekend. Plan your meals for the week - but this week they are all ready meals eg. family size cottage pie, lagasna etc. Buy some frozen veg to go with each meal, even if just peas for now.

Then next week when doing online shop decide one day which can be something easy you cook, such as stuffed pasta and sauce. Every week make one change until in a few weeks you have a menu for the week planned out that includes some ready meals but also some easy dishes you can whip up without any bother.

Batch cooking at the weekend, a slow cooker and an air fryer have all been invaluable to me as a single mum. The slow cooker in particular has meant me being able to get a meal cooking when I have the energy, that's then ready at teatime. Look up slow cooker dump bags - they are a game changer!

The main thing is to have every day planned and ready in the fridge/freezer for exactly those times when you are too tired too cook.

Hello fresh

frozen pizza and salad

tray with chopped up fruit veg cheese hummus pizza

toaster waffles and beans

omelette

do things that are quick and achievable

You are doing brilliantly. Sorry for your loss and hats off to you for managing three young children and a job. If takeaways have helped you so far then that's all good.
Some other almost instant ideas you could grab from a supermarket once a week: hot ready-roasted chicken, cold ready- cooked salmon, smoked mackerel, spanish potato tortilla. Serve with microwave rice sachets and/or ready-made mash and salad bags and tomatoes. Dress the salad with olive oil and vinegar and that is four healthy meals.

Op. Other thought is that if you have someone coming to house early at 5ish for you to get to work could they do dinner prep before the kids get up?