Takeaways every night !

I also came here to say this!

you’ve been through so much.

I’d wean yourself off slowly- next week do 3 nights cooking and 4 nights takeaway. Keep decreasing week by week.

good luck OP

I was just coming to suggest doing a Cook order once a fortnight. Then choose some really easy sides you can make yourself to go with them (and I mean REALLY easy, like those frozen steam bags of veg, or sweet potato wedges, or a salad or some cous cous).

Mix in a few extremely simple meals you can cook yourself, to keep the cost down. Jacket potatoes with ready made tuna mayo and a bag of salad. Fresh pasta and sauce. Pre chopped stir fry with grilled salmon fillets. That kind of thing.

And give yourself a fucking medal woman 🏅

Id really recommend the What Mummy Makes books. The flavourings/ sauces tend to revolve around the same things so once you’ve got them in your cupboard you can usually find an idea and everything is easy to make. Fast Family Food would be particularly good for you - lots of quick or no cook ideas and slow cooker and traybake recipes. I’ve started to love a traybake.

Some other options are the meatballls you can get in the meat section of the supermarket—my kids love these.
Stroganoff (beef stock cube, onion, garlic granules, sour cream/crème fraiche/or cream cheese), rice/mash/pasta, side of frozen peas.
Thai curry (coconut powder or coconut milk, red Thai paste, spoon of peanut butter, soy sauce, couple of spoons of mango chutney, mangetout/sugar snap peas), rice.
Bolognese meatballs w/ pasta.
Teriyaki (soy sauce, spoon of cornflour mixed with water, garlic granules, powdered ginger, squidge of honey, dash of apple cider/white wine vinegar, beef stock cube, sesame oil (optional)), rice, veg eg tenderstem broccoli steamed over the rice pot.

https://www.cookfood.net/

And can be cooked from Frozen, which is a huge bonus.

Probably the best ready meals out there and they deliver them nationwide.
not the cheapest, but a fair bit cheaper than takeaways.

Solidarity from a fellow widow with children. You are doing amazingly and have had some great tips already. Finding the space/energy to add to the mental load can feel overwhelming.

Some ready meals such as M&S, Cook etc help. I try to serve with a fresh or frozen veg or even just some veg sticks. I also and keep fresh fruit, yogurts in as well.

Be kind to yourself

www.cookfood.net

OP, I make a big batch for a weeknight meal and freeze extras. For example, on Tuesday I made a bolognese sauce and we ate some for dinner, and the rest went into smaller portions in the freezer for another time. And Thursday was a shredded beef brisket chilli which I made a few weeks ago—took it out of the freezer Tuesday night and let it thaw slowly in the fridge for two days. Thursday night all I needed to do was heat up the brisket and cook some rice. I find it’s less daunting if I’m not cooking a full meal every night…it doesn’t take extra work to double or triple a recipe for later. xx

We have Ocado deliveries; the Picard frozen range have some very good healthy options, eg the vegetarian lasagne and the very versatile, home-cooking style tomato sauce that comes in chunks so you can defrost to just the amount you want.

We found that a roast chicken delivers really useful left overs; eg roast meal the first night, chicken fajitas the second (can use the fajita box)

You can get chicken already roasted and reheat which would be quicker.

My kids love the M and S lasagne.

Make the next day's dinner at night after the kids go to bed. It really doesn't take that long. I can make a vat of bolognese (good for easily four meals for four) in less than half an hour.

Bake some chicken to use in sandwiches, salads or reheated. Or a turkey crown. You can do this at the same time as making the bolognese. Boil some eggs. As pp said, a platter with hardboiled eggs, cheese, vegetables, whole-grain bread, olives, whatever, is fine. My mother used to make that for us 50 years ago.

Pancakes are easy and just take minutes. Omelettes or scrambled eggs. Microwaved jacket potatoes are quick and easy. As long as there is plenty of good protein and some fruit/veg they will be a lot better off than with takeaway.

How old are your other children? We received a child's cookery book at age 8 and were able to make pancakes and other simple fare by age 10.

When me and mum lost my dad we lived on ready meals. It's tough to focus on everything at once.
I'd say do a roast chicken, then serve that over a few days. Do boiled potatoes one night, but make double so next night you pop the other half in to roast.
Do a pot of rice that lasts a couple of days. You can boil it with bouillon and a few frozen or chopped veg for flavour.
Maybe a slow cooked beef stew, with potatoes, carrots, swede etc? You can freeze any leftovers.
Pasta with tuna, veg and jarred tomato sauce as well.
That plus a few bits from the freezer section and tins of beans, spaghetti hoops, salads, hummus, tztatziki, tarama, pitta?

Another for Gousto.

You can filter their recipes by length of time they take to cook.

There’s plenty of choice. Lots of healthy options. You’ll pick up cookery skills as you go (I have!)

If the kids are hungry after school, maybe stash healthy snacks in the car so they’re not super hungry while you’re cooking.

Honestly I think Hello Fresh et al are overated and actually a faff.
Ready meals would be a step up from takeaways and a bit cheaper until you get to grips with some easy cooking.

your take aways sound great! But also relatively easy to make with a little help to make your life easier - try meal easy kits from the supermarket, or stir fry veg in a packet and pre cooked chicken. Pre cut veg - like sweet potato fries. Sainsbury’s do meal kits for that are pretty easy to follow.

itsu does frozen dumplings, Leon does frozen potato salad waffles, Nando’s does spice mix in packet.

air fryers are great for ease and speeding things up.

I found hello fresh/gusto great for no waste but they always take ages to prep, always an hour start to plate on quick stir fry types so as you’re time poor I would suggest don’t do those.

It sounds like you are doing amazing, I am not a good cook by any means and short on time as I work shifts full time.

Ideas I do

Filled pasta and sauce, maybe with some cucumber or salad
Sausages, chicken or micro fish and butter sauce - with ready made mash or micro new pots with micro bags of veg
Rotisserie chicken with a baguette and salad
Slow cooker chilli/spag bol/curry
Jacket potatoes
Something on toast
Picky plates
Fajitas - can use the ready to eat chicken pieces if needed

But I think that’s ok. It can be a problem if foods are seen as taboo so some less healthy things aren’t a disaster. When they grow up, they will make their own choices and, in my experience, the ones who had the most controlled diets as children went wild as teenagers.
Variety is good!

i think the type of takeaway you’re doing is fine OP. I am so very sorry for your loss.

OP you sound absolutely lovely and you are doing a heroic job!

The kind of cooking I chose when mine were young and life was frantic was put something in the oven (chicken, fish, fishcakes, sausages etc), maybe with baked potatoes (started in the microwave if in a hurry) then do a few veg in the last few minutes (often cooked in the same saucepan and frozen is fine). Pasta is always easy (mine liked pasta, peas and cheese so that was a straightforward one). I’d sometimes make a massive chilli or bolognaise and freeze some of it.

The takeaway you mentioned with salmon and baked veg sounds pretty good anyway.

I’m so sorry for your loss. You sound like a great mother who is prioritising her children. None of us are perfect across the board but you sound pretty darned inspirational to me! 🥰

personally ill admit id like them for a bit

Sorry for your loss, don't be too hard on yourself re the takeaways, sometimes it's just so handy! I really struggled to get into the swing of things with dinners when I went back to work after maternity leave, so I really relied on the slow cooker! Some evenings if I wasn't too tired I would make the next days dinners so it was ready to bung in the oven/hob. Things like bolognese, lasagnes, curries are so handy to get ready the night before. I got the bored of lunch slow cooker recipe book for Christmas and there is loads of tasty handy recipes in it 😀 if you work long/odd hours I'd recommend the slow cookers with the timers on it x

Well done - an utterly ridiculous post which combines smug judgementalism with zero actual helpful suggestions.

Loving the school now responsible for children's meals at home - I'm sure every teacher on MN will be thrilled at that opportunity.

@Lookwhostalking25

Enjoy your bbq. Top tip, precook meat in the oven (except burgers and hot dog sausages) to speed things up.

Think about some super easy meals for you that are suitable from weaning upwards:

Couscous salmon bake
Thaw out aka leave on side) a bag of frozen Mediterranean vegetables,
Make up couscous mixing 200ml boiling water to 150g couscous, add lemon juice (fine to use bottled) and black pepper and a drizzle of olive oil (or normal oil)
Mix veg with couscous and spread into an over dish, lay salmon fillets or side salmon over and loosely cover with foil, put in oven at 200 for 12-15 minutes remove foil squeeze a bit of lemon over and bake a further 2-3 minutes. Can be eaten cold for lunch next day too.

Easy curry
Fry chicken thighs, onions and peppers (use frozen for ease if you want) add half a jar korma paste and a can of coconut milk. Cook 20 minutes. Add chopped coriander at the end.
Cook rice or use packets.

Make a cheat bolognaise, browned mince, frozen onions or soffrito mix, can of chopped tomatoes and jar of sauce.

Chicken bake on pan.
Set oven at 190
Add to roasting pan chicken pieces, new potatoes, chopped butternut squash (no need to peel), couple of peppers roughly chopped, onions chopping roughly, sprinkle with a little oil and Cajun seasoning, bake 40 minutes, drizzle honey and lay tenderstem broccoli on top and return to oven for 8-10 minutes.

These aren't all that cheap but are super easy, kids can help especially using frozen veg, and better than takeaways.

I also would add don't be afraid to accept help from your community, there will be people quite willing to help you out with say a lasagne ready to pop in the oven or a casserole but you need to let them know you would appreciate help. I have a few people locally that I help out when they need it, it's just being neighbourly and letting them know they are not alone.

Take care and make sure you can get some time to yourself, your kids need you to look after yourself. Let us know how things are going in a few weeks.

Don’t be an afraid to keep a jar or two in - they are great!

roast a chicken and use it for curry/ cold
fish- easy to cook - boxed a great addition to the freezer
the secret to batch cooking is double it and freeze
sausages - useful
frozen veg
potatoes
pasta
rice

keep a store cupboard with tomato puree

agree multi cooker, airfyer, slow cooker all useful