To think 9pm is too early to go to bed..

Boa suit in mine is in bed before 11 pm and we both get up at 5 and 5:45 am .

Bed every day at 9 is my dream. I don't though as I like seeing dh.

Everyone is different though 🤔I get up at 6:30, go to bed between 11:30 and 12 so I think 10/10:30 is early, but that doesn’t mean I’m right or wrong. If I got to bed earlier I just wake up earlier, unless I’m unusually tired.

I get up at 7am but rarely get to sleep before 2am

I need a lot more sleep than that, but there’s no time for it, too many other things to do.

id be pissed off at never seeing my other half yes!

I think this changes everything! His blood sugars must be all over the place. He needs to start eating proper food during the day. No wonder he's tired if he's starving all day then gorging on sugar.

We have a similar aged child. Alarm goes of 0545, husband goes down to make coffee and do a bit of work, he brings mine up around 0630. We both shower, he leaves around 0715, I get the toddler ready and drop off at 0800.

Husband leaves work and pick up toddler at 1800, back around 1815 and I finish work. Toddler snack, chats, bit of play, husband does bath and bed, toddler asleep by 2000.

We don’t eat until 2100, let alone go to bed!! We have a chat over dinner, maybe catch up with a bit of work or watch something. Read in bed and turn the lights out around midnight. Yes we have probably have a bit too little sleep, but I’d prefer to sacrifice that than family and leisure time!!

I can kind of relate...

I work in hospitality so similar being on your feet being nice to people and by the end of my (short) shift I'm peopled out. Unfortunately I still have to get the kids, do the housework so by 9pm I'm ready for bed.

I rarely go to sleep until 10.30 but I need that downtime to relax. My husband can be with me but often I just need to doom scroll.

Tonight I've been out socialising so I need a bit of time for me alone. Give me too long and I start to get twitchy, too little and I'm just not in the room mentally.

I'd be thinking depression and/or sleep apnoea.

Does he eat enough? My husband works very long hours in an active job and would basically pass out on the sofa every night after dinner. He’s just not someone who cares for food and is so busy during the day so was barely eating enough to keep a fly alive.
In the last few months he’s been actively trying to put on weight and he’s a completely different person. He’s not once fallen asleep before bed at around 10.30/11 and he’s a much nicer person to be around!

My husband is a 9-10 hours a night kind of person, whereas I'm comfortable on 5-6 hours. We both get up at 7am so he tends to be off to bed between 9pm and 10pm, whereas I'm usually still up until around 1am. Despite this I have way more daytime energy than him, he's often sleepy. Has been to doctor and nothing wrong, he just needs more sleep. Maybe I sleep harder 😂

Everyone is different, I just make the most of having peace and quiet for a few hours once he's gone off to bed! Maybe take up a craft or hobby to fill that time?

I’ve always been a morning person and early to bed so I can completely relate!

My workday bedtime is 10pm and I don’t get up until 7am! I don’t sleep well though, I’m usually awake several hours in the night.

I'm a nurse doing 9-5 but my job is mentally and physically draining so I do need my rest.

I think if you are a morning person, staying up late is really difficult. And some do need more sleep than others!

Some people just need more sleep. I have a desk job and 6yr old twins and generally sleep 10:30-6:30 and that is not enough sleep for me. I barely ever feel rested. Pre-kids it’s would probably have been fine, though I have always needed a lot of sleep and would happily sleep 10:30-10 on weekends and on holidays before kids, but kids take it the fuck out of you, and I can’t imagine adding a retail job into that too.

I’m not sure. I’ve got a 2.5 year old who wakes once or twice a night - although it was every two hours since birth until a few weeks ago - and a fairly sedentary job. I do have a disability but not one that I thought affected my sleep too much.

I’ve just come up to bed. I’m shattered. I do feel bad - lack of time with DH, lack of time when I’m not in full “mum” mode - but I’m also absolutely shattered and I’ll be up any time between 4:30 - 6:30.

I did mention it to my GP while there about something else and she said that was life 🫣

9 hours is long, but I think in the realms of “normal”. But if he’s getting a solid 9 hours every night and still is tired all the time then yes I’d go to the doctor. I went when I was permanently exhausted no matter how much sleep I got, turns out I had severe sleep apnoea.

Jesus, where are my night owls at?

I'm up at 5ish most mornings and working all day and honestly other than the weekend I'm in bed reading by 8.30/9 asleep by 9/9.30. I can't manage on less sleep so I get it. I guess everyone's different.

The person posting they were in bed at 9 without fail at 9:45pm was quite funny

Can’t believe she many people go to bed so early. I have a busy job (secondary head of department), I’m up at 6am and have a 45 min drive either way (more in bad traffic) and I think 9 is too early. Sometimes I’m not long in from picking kids up from clubs or just I’ve just finished doing jobs. I tend to watch the news headlines at 10 then get ready for bed and read for a while. Usually turn light off around 10:45. I am tired, but I like some time in the evening. I wouldn’t have any time to relax, watch tv etc if I went to bed at 9.

Anyway how come some of the early sleepers are still awake

If you want time together in the evening why are you spending 45 mins in the shower during his awake time? Perhaps go for your shower when he goes to bed 🤷🏻‍♀️
Apart from that, I’d say 9 hours is a lot so you might both be right (ie he needs some general blood tests to see if there is an underlying factor, plus needs to get out of retail!).

Go to bed and lay together, even if you're reading/scrolling/snoozing; at least you're physically together.

I need 10 hours of sleep a night to feel well, I’ve always been the same. I couldn’t be operating on any less than 8 hours. Often at the weekend I’ll sleep 14-15 hours

Even after 13 hour long shifts running about like a blue arsed fly I needed adequate decompression time.

Strangely enough I could go straight to sleep after a night shift. Brains are odd.